Keiji's Things

okey... literally happened to me today....and i was like froze at the instant.

there was gathering of our group which i couldn't participate ...and at the night our gc had a big discussion how it was. And my bestie said they all watched porn together ...honestly i was shocked...ngl .irl i have a strict dad like figure among our clumsy group. they always call me dad even in public...so i had used to it by now even tho i hated it at first(tbh everyone has a role...lol)

and ive like a clean image(?!) irl...
(like a model student/teenager/caring friend ...this is something my friends told me....damn i feel guilty now)
so i really didn't expect them to say that to me...i didn't really said anything...and ofc i would be uncomfortable to watch porn with someone else(being a bi on top of that) and if i was there i would be mad and never let them watch it...and i am sure they will listen to me anyways(well that's how me and my are)

the problem is i couldn't react in any way when my friends told that they were watching porn together..... honestly i was confused, and feeling a horrible guilt, cuz i couldn't honest with my friends...and they also notice that...they said like.."wow why is dad so calm, i thought we would get nagged all night"....AND THAT HIT ME REALLY HARD...i was lost of words for a second...and when i somehow managed to barely handle it, the next question strikes "YOU DON'T WATCH PORN?"...and it got me panicked again...more than panicked i was feeling guilty cuz i couldn't honest to them ...like so much that i thought that i should quit reading yaoi/yuri/hentai

in shortly....i read yaoi/yuri/mature comics....so its too much to say I've never watched porn right? and yet i cant casually bring up yaoi or yuri in discussion where none of them are aware of this genre
so situation like this what you'll likely to do?