i'm incoming first year college and taking a ab pyschology. but I know that I'm not going to enjoy it, and I'm going to regret taking Ab Pysch. My dream course is PT (physical therapy). I know for myself that I love that, and I can see myself in the future enjoying that job. but for some reason I can't take it because I'm an athlete (football player). Most schools don't take medical students because it takes too much of your time. That's why I chose Ab Pysch for the sake of playing and for the athletic scholarship. I already took the scholarship; the head already signed it, so there's no turning back, and I already told my coach that I'm going to commit to football by not taking my dream course.
then now I regret it because I chose to play rather than choose the course that I want, and that will also be my job in the future. I know that I can't use football to make money, but I don't know why I chose it. When I was just deciding what to do, I didn't really know, so I asked for help. What was wrong with what I did was that I asked for help to people who also play football, and they actually want to pursued football. So, of course, their advice to me is to continue playing. They say it's only for 4 years, but I know for myself that those 4 years are also a way for my future. I was also jealous of them because they could continue playing. I also want to play, like I really want to. I also regret if the years of my playing will be wasted, so maybe I thought of continuing. then one of the reasons for me continuing is that I'm afraid of losing connection with my teammates, who are really my only friends. I don't really have any other friends besides my teammates, so I'm also afraid of being alone.
then when I decided I was under a lot of pressure because my coach was pressuring me to decide and then my sister was also angry with me because why should I still play, like I should think of my future and I only think of having fun. well, that's true. I also thought that if I didn't play anymore, I would lose something. Besides, my sister is also the one who's playing my tuition so I am ashamed of her. I'm not really close to her, she's just my half-sister, but I'm thankful to her for what she does for me. actually, when I was just a senior high school, I decided that I wouldn't really play anymore, like I need to focus on my studies. but there was a time when I heard my sister talking to our cousin and she said, "it's good that you don't have a sibling to pay for school" so maybe that's what triggered me that I had to get the athletic scholarship so that she won't pay for my tuition anymore.
then now that I regretted my decision I don't know what to do. I want to back out because I am not enrolled yet so I can still choose PT. But, I can't just do that, I already talked to my Coach that i'm commiting myself and, I think I'm going to embrassed myself if I do that.
I appreciate if you give me advices or just your thought and, what are you going to do if you're in my position. thank you in advanced.
(づ￣ ³￣)づ
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