Yaoilynn

Wow that's pretty detailed. I'm not an asexual so feel free to take my opinion with a pinch of salt. From what you said, I think you are probably a romantic but asexual person. Sexual thoughts and sexual experiences put you off, but you are certainly not aromantic. Another plausible explanation for your reactions above is that you weren't attracted to them enough to feel comfortable with any sexual touches (in which case you might be demi-sexual btw).

As for me, I'm guessing I'm demi-sexual, although personally I've never gone further than kissing to confirm this. Gender doesn't matter to me; I've had crushes on guys and girls before (and am currently in love with an asexual, aromantic girl friend ;_; someone save me please)

It sounds like you are asexual, but are probably biromantic. (The ability to love both genders romantically) because of your best friend, and female lovers, although this is just my opinion. (๑•ㅂ•)و✧

High School age is too young to decide what "gender" you are. Just date and take things as they come. Wait till you're fully an adult before making such a drastic assessment of yourself. If you're disgusted with the kissing and sexual touching, hold off on it. It's damaging to do too much of what disgusts you. Being confused about your sexuality is normal. Just sit with that confusion, and as time goes by, it will all work itself out. Sex is a joyful journey. Don't rush it. I wish you the best in all this, and I hope I don't sound too ....

I agree with coffki!

It sounds like you might be a/demisexual (somewhere along the spectrum) and biromantic. Personally, I've been confused with my sexuality. Still am, in fact, as I have yet to feel sexual attraction toward any gender. The thought of partaking in sexual activities digusts me, but I think I'm just a late bloomer.

I'd like to slap the shit out of whoever is pushing these sexual identity labels into the heads of people who have the right to keep their options open at this point in their lives. No teenager is asexual, demi-sexual, or aromantic. You need a lot more information before you can possibly know.
To know what you are, you have to have actually had sex. It's not something you can think about and decide. You can't fully understand sex till you've had it with a fellow adult who loves you and who you love back. WAIT to decide these things before you put pressure on yourself to assign yourself an official label. Asexual? Really? There's not a teenager on earth who is asexual.
If it sounds like I'm recommending that you rush out and have sex so you can figure it all out. I'm not. As stated below, that kind of experience can be damaging. Permanently damaging.

I agree. I am in a similar situation like the poster so I decided to do this. I feel like something lifted up from my shoulders now well. Maybe I just don't fit anywhere you don't have to know your sexuality right now just do what you want to do and don't do anything you don't want to. I believe sexuality doesn't change so no need to rush it (=・ω・=)

When it comes to being ace, it's a pretty different experience for everyone. In my case, I just never felt sexually attracted to anyone, and never felt the desire to touch myself or someone else. Before I found out about asexuality I acted on the assumption that I was pan or bi, because I never really cared much for gender and could always really easily swoon over both male and female characters and public figures. I did notice that sex was never on my mind and it generally confused me when people spoke about being frustrated, or anything on the subject of sex in general. But because all I knew of sexuality was that you could be into the opposite sex, the same sex, or both, I just assumed it's because I'm not in love with anyone that I'm not experiencing the lust everyone seemed to be wrapped up in. Questioning your sexuality is normal, and I suggest trying to think back on when you were crushing on someone, have you thought of yourself in a sexual situation with them? Or anyone you considered beautiful for that matter? I can't say for sure, as I never experienced it for myself, in books and such, being horny is described as wanting to rip someone's clothes off, have you experienced that? I do know masturbation is practiced by some aces, while others stay clear of it, but if you yourself never had the desire to try it, it can be an indication that you are one of us. That's actually how I figured out I was ace. Talking with some friends about it, I was fairly certain even before that conversation but wanted an outside view just in case I was wrong, they asked what I do about masturbation, I got confused for a moment because it never even crossed my mind, and when I said I never did it nor did I feel the need to, they kind of looked at me like I was an alien. I'm in a pretty touchy-feely kind of place and no matter what any of them did, it never made me horny or uncomfortable because none of them did anything with that kind of motive, but once a friend that doesn't exactly believe being ace is possible started to feel me up with the intention of turning me on and I just felt hurt. And honestly, if what I read doesn't turn me on, I don't think she'd have been able to.

A friend of mine is an asexual and she already knew that when she was in her teens. And yes she has had sex after the fact that she knew that she was an asexual and that didn't change after sleeping with her partner.

Personally I would like to classify my sexuality just to get some kind of closure or just to understand myself better. It's okay to search for the answers as a teen since nothing's set in the stone anyways. And when you think you understand yourself better, it's also easier for people to accept themselves and just generally have less stress about it.

Maybe don't rush into things just to experience it just wait until your ready with the right partner who you trust. Your thoughts and opinions might change but I think you might just be charging into things thinking your ready when your not

I'd like to slap the shit out of whoever is pushing these sexual identity labels into the heads of people who have the right to keep their options open at this point in their lives. No teenager is asexual, demi-sexual, or aromantic. You need a lot more information before you can possibly know.
To know what you are, you have to have actually had sex. It's not something you can think about and decide. You can't fully understand sex till you've had it with a fellow adult who loves you and who you love back. WAIT to decide these things before you put pressure on yourself to assign yourself an official label. Asexual? Really?
If it sounds like I'm recommending that you rush out and have sex so you can figure it all out. I'm not. As stated below, that kind of experience can be damaging. Permanently damaging.

I'd say you're ace ^^ probably bi- or panromantic too. I don't know about the romantic part since I'm aro but for the sexual part you seem kinda like me and I'm ace.
Just keep in mind that everyone has their own "version" of sexuality and that what's true for me isn't necessarily true for you ^^
And don't worry too much, you have your whole life to figure it out ;)

No really. I meant to post that twice. honest. LOL
Actually I didn't mean to post that "no teenager on earth" comment. That was just me being a pain in the ass, not a real opinion.

XDD

Oh God! Thank you all so much for so many replies! (≧∀≦) ლ(´ڡ`ლ)
To clear a few things up I will explain some details.

I think I was surprised the most with the sudden confusement. I was really sure I am gay, I was always a lot more comfortable around girls, I was even attracted to them, they are just so nice.. But so was I toward guys. I can have a really strong emotional bond with a person, when I like someone I imagine things like being together, spending time together, cuddling in bed together, even our wedding (Yeah, girls just do that ╮(￣▽￣)╭)
and all the cute stuff we could do.

Although I am kind of thinking about sex with people. You know, I imagine it. Yeah, sometimes I really do. I even masturbate. I watch porn. It turns me on. I even flirt with people that I meet for the first time, just to boost my confidence, that doesn't feel bad at all. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
I imagined doing all of this with these people, my best friend included. And it just didn't feel good. Even though I was pretty sure I loved him. And I was attracted to her.

I tried physical contact between people I didn't know very well and between someone I knew very well, we were best friends afterall. And it felt bad. I even felt huge guilty after touching them. It was horrible.

About labels and stuff, I understand. I am not a huge fan of them myself, but you know, we all want to call ourselves somehow. 'Hey, I am straight!' 'Hi, I'm bisexual!' 'Oh! I am.. well, nothing.' I do want to call myself something. I don't see a point in having 5 or even more labels. Why? But I want one. Just to say who I am and how other people should treat me.


As you can see, I am super honest and open person (⌒▽⌒) I just don't feel I do anything to be ashamed of, I am just a human afterall ╮(￣▽￣)╭

When I was growing up, the phrase du jour was, "Just be yourself." When I was in high school and college, I didn't know who I was yet. The phrase was confusing as hell.

You open yourself to ridicule when you talk about being "sexual" anything, no matter the chosen prefix. For one, adults are going to LAUGH at you. All they have to do is look at you to know you're too young to label yourself something with "sexual" attached to it.

Kids at school will ridicule you, too. Really, anyone would. Once they get a hold of your asexual, aromantic, demi, pan, or blowmesexual title, it's open season on YOU. One little deviation off of that title will get you teased and made fun of. Why open yourself to it? In case you didn't notice, I ridiculed you within this paragraph.

It's mostly only kids assigning themselves these labels. Adult don't need to do it. Adults don't talk about their sexuality openly online or in RL because it's none of yours or anyone's else's damned business. There's only a few people adults discuss this sort of personal information with, close confidential friends, or the people they choose to be intimate with, so if you feel a need for labels, you're just labeling yourself as young and inexperienced. It's young people who want to fit in with a group. It's normal. So that's another tell that you're young and inexperienced. talking about wanting to have "at least some sort of something to call myself by" is something kids do so they can fit in.

Talking about sex is a little like doing it. You guys might not know it, but you're acting on sexual feelings when you discuss these sex-labels.

Someone talked about how their gf is aromantic and asexual. Not possible. A gf or bf is someone you are close to in a romantic or sexual way. You can't just be friends and call yourselve bf or gf, not the way you guys are thinking of.

This is probably too much truth for you, but you asked for it.

child, you are SUPPOSED TO be confused about who you are. Trust me, you'll always be confused about it. That's what's known as "Life."

Off the topic.... and please pardon me for saying this. I'm not trying to be rude: please stop using "anyways." It drives me as well as a lot of other people up the wall. The word is "anyway." Sorry for that. It really does drive me nuts. Have a little mercy on your elders.

Good to know that I shall forever stress about this (I'm the type to worry about anything and everything even if I know that I don't need to) but anyways... (I'M SO EVIL SORRY) English is not my first language so I find it important to learn even the nuances and ways to write more "casually". And since I consider this site as a casual hang-out place I tend to use less stern and formal way of writing (it's good practise!) But yeah, sorry if it got to your nerves XD I get it, I too have some words that make me roll my eyes and wonder why the hell do people use that like please just stop.

I'm also the stressed-out type.

You know, you're already writing "casually," and doing it quite well. you don't need to incorporate mistakes and bad English into your speech and especially not your writing, evil one. I had to say that. Otherwise I'd be stressed out.

English-only people talk about a "relaxed" or "casual" way of speaking/writing when they're making excuses for their bad English. Pay them no mind.

You said, "And since I consider this site a casual, hang-out place, I tend to use a less-stern or formal way of writing. It's good practice!" -- I'm sorry but that's incorrect. There's no such thing as a "less stearn" form of the English language. The next step down from the way we're writing here is bad usage and bad grammar. Bad grammar isn't casual. It's ignorant. If you come from another culture, I can understand that you might believe there is a "less formal" style in the English language. There isn't, and "anyways" is not a nuance, nor is it casual. It's a casualty.

Your sentence, the one I quoted (paraphrased), is almost perfect in style and grammar. What? It's not casual enough for you? On a side note, sorry. I spruced it up a little bit. Even so, it's still written in the most casual form of English that exists. Trust me on this. I know what I'm talking about.

you go, girl.

Being horny is not "wanting to rip someone's clothes off." That's ridiculous. It can be a subtle wish to have sex, or a strong desire, but wanting to rip someone's clothes off is extreme.

My ex-husband never masturbated in his life till after the first time he had sex at age 18. No desire to masturbate doesn't mean you're asexual.

You can't be felt-up by just anyone. It has to be someone you're sexually attracted to. That you haven't met anyone like that yet, doesn't make you asexual.

Almost no one on the planet is "asexual." How likely is it that you're one of the asexual, less than 99.999999 percent of the population? You'll discover your sexuality soon enough. If not, think about joining the human race, how 'bout?

In denying yourself access to discovering your sexuality at some point in the future, you deny yourself the greatest pleasure of human existence. Don't be a fool. Keep an open mind.

One more thing (for now, hehe) Still think you're asexual? When you're old enough, your gynecologist can prescribe a hormone cream that will help you find yourself sexually, and maybe even want to rip someone's clothes off.

Just as honest as I expected.

I never said I was not young or experienced, as you predicted, it's the opposite.
It's surprising that this confusement will never go away. My straight friends were never even doubting their sexuality. Well, I guess it's different for every single person.

Yes, I am also that type of person, stress is there my entire life. I want to have a label. I am not saying I don't.

I decided to just let it be. It doesn't need to be solved overnight. I refuse to have sex with just anybody to figure it out, it just needs time. Honestly, people are not making fun of me. Never. And trust me, I came out to lots of people including ones I've never met before and no one ever said anything bad about it. I don't know from what you judge your opinion, but the place and especially country where I live is so tolerant.



Btw - English is not my native language either, but I am trying ┑(￣Д ￣)┍

I think it would be good to connect with people on instagram! I know a few people who are confused and lost about their eating disorder but have found comfort in the words pf others who are in a similar situation!

All the best!!!

hello darling
my name is yousra i'm 21 years old i've struggled with my weight and my physical appearance since i can remember ...the only thing my dear i can say to is to seek professional help and if you can't at least search in internet maybe you can find some informations that could be useful . the only thing i can say to you and it might be helpful , is look for ways of distraction eat healthy ,take long walks with your friend or pet , and don't feel ashamed of who you are be proud and try to found your comfort zone and invite others to it
hope the best for you (〜￣△￣)〜

I've got similar problems. It started with restricted eating a few years ago, back then my obsession about my weight was fueled by my mother who praised me for losing weight even though I was already at a really healthy weight. Thanks to a friend I snapped out of it before I was at a point where I had to get professional help. However, due to my mental health getting worse over the years and my worsening depression I slipped into a binge eating disorder plus some other stuff. I've finally spoken up about it and I'm going to see a professional in a few weeks... I encourage you to get professional help as well. Once you are at a certain point it is almost impossible to help yourself and I had to learn that the hard way. Don't wait any longer and get help as soon as possible.

Hi..! First, i wanna ask you. Why do you want to have a diet..? Because of your appearance ..? I just have a feeling that , you never experience such worries about getting fat. But now you build your muscle. For what..? Why must you do that..? Is that because of your friends influence or not..? Mostly there will be these answers when you decided to have a diet : 1) you have some kind of degenerative desease or
just risk genetically and your doctor said you have to do some diets 2) standar of society, their value of being handsome and beautiful.

My friend, mostly people who have bulimia problem, they simply dont have enough self confidence. They dunno how to love and accept themself, their negative side and possitive side. They scared of people around them talking bad about their appearance and they tried so hard to meet society expectation.
I think first you need to ask to your inner self, truthfully, why are you feeling insecure with your appearance right now... Thats my solution

You need to see some one who area is eating disorder. Each person is diff. and each prob, may need a diff. approach, seeing a doc. can help you get a handle on the problem. seek a recommended therapy group for support, some of these online chat groups may make things worse. You need see doc. bec. you may have an underlying depression or some other cause. that is just my thoughts.

Thank you so much everyone(๑•ㅂ•)و✧(づ￣ ³￣)づ(▰˘◡˘▰)
I myself probably wasn't bothered by my body that much, but other people said to me
I'm fat.
Of course it could change the way I felt about myself, I started thinking about it way too much.
But in reality I was never really fat. My height is 172 cm and currently I weight 58 kg, back then I weighed 64 kg.
I decided to change my lifestyle because I always hated sport and I was very weak at it. I wanted to get stronger, more confident and finally completely happy.
And it was a success. I was never more confident in my whole life. Now I am happy. But together really sad.
I don't understand why I am doing it. But now I am not alone.
After writing my question I binge eated again. I've had enough of it so I told my mum.
She cried, I cried and it got pretty serious. Anyway, she understood, said, why she thought I was anorexic, I understood and together we decided to see a professional.

Sincerely thank you all for your kind words and advices. It helped me a lot. Thanks to that, I was able to tell my mother and do something about it.
Finally I am brave enough to fight it.

Wishing the best for you , friend..
Being healthy is good. Outside and inside. Not only your body, your innerself too. U dun have to set a limit for yourself, dun need to so hard to yourself. Everything is about balance. Eat whatever you want, do sport what ever you want, enough sleep, enough water, praying everyday... Just let it be in balance, you'll be fine

I'm glad you decided to talk to your mother about it, I know how hard it is... but things will definitely get better from here on. Let's work hard and do our best, it will be worth it. I'll cheer you on!