Qui Li September 22, 2024 1:43 am

Am I really the only one not bothered by the tattoo????? Like to me it isn't ugly or anything.

Qui Li September 15, 2024 6:18 pm

I like the manga but there's a lot missing here:

First, the relationship btw Sigurd and Julliette is less weird than you'd think (not that you have to love it lol). It doesn't explain it well here but in the novel, it's explained that they never had a particularly good or close relationship when younger because their dad would favor Juliette. At some point when younger, Sigurd left the family to train as a soldier. He was taken under Jolga's wing and he even wanted to be Jolga's son (unknowing of his parentage at the time). He also hated his father and sister and basically considered them strangers because of everything he heard about them. They were evil in his eyes, and he wasn't happy about being Juliette's guard at the beginning because he thought he would have to go through hell because of them. However, due to Juliette being instructed by their father to just be nice (as she had always been encouraged to be mean and spoiled to get ahead) Sigurd began to have a better relationship with Juliette. Is it still weird? To some yes to others no, but in the manga it is harder to tell that they weren't really raised thinking of each other as close/family, especially when Sigurd left for the military to escape the family.

Second, Jolga is a bit dumb but also he's working with the limited/fake information he knows. Here's the thing, Jolga has basically made up an image of Andrim that is this tragic yet lovely figure because, unlike in the original story, the information that is revealed is twisted in a way that not only makes sense but embellishes Andrim - someone he hated because he was the opposite of what Jolga believes in. Like he now genuinely believes that him and Andrim could have been friends based on the lies Andrim "revealed" - such as "taking on the role of a villain" to save Jolga's fiancee or to protect the crown. Jolga believes now that Andrim actually is more of a representation of his beliefs, and he admires this version of Andrim. Jolga believes that Andrim is just misunderstood, but he also finds himself being attracted to Andrim. He feels like he's the only one able to see the real Andrim and that pushes his possessiveness as well. So when Andrim let's Jolga sleep with him, Jolga begins to fall even harder, because he feels like he could be the one to protect the "poor and lovely victim of loyalty". The circus thus becomes a form for Andrim to test how far Jolga would go to protect Andrim despite what actual evil stuff Andrim reveals to Jolga. (Keep in mind, Andrim doesn't reveal the truth about the past events, he just reveals that he did take revenge out on the prince's fiancee (Nasha) by selling off her family.)

The Circus is a shit show btw. First, Nasha makes a fool of herself because she has no royal training, so she acts out during the show. Second, the after show. It's essentially a betting ring, where beasts are forced to fight to the death. If the beast you choose wins, you win the beast's offspring. The thing is that the priestess' family receives a monetary award for their daughter being the priestess. However, the priestess doesn't have to be aware of this, and Nasha and Marie weren't aware of this. So Nasha and Marie believed Nasha was merely kidnapped, but their family accepted the money and used it to save the life of their son. However, because Nasha and Julliette traded places, the church needed the money back from Nasha's family. In the original timeline, this is resolved bc no one likes Andrim or Malaki, them trying to take the money back backfires and they get in trouble and the debt is cleared. In this timeline, Andrim and Malaki are more secretive about taking the money back, so they end up selling the family to cover the costs. The parents are sold as labor slaves and the children are sold to the circus as slaves. More specifically, Nasha's sisters are sold to be breeding partners to the beasts while her younger brother was sold off as a sex slave. Yeah, Andrim is evil. Basically, Andrim reveals what he did when it can't be changed anymore, so Jolga has a choice to arrest/kill Andrim for his evil actions or to accept him as he truly is (vindictive and evil). Of course, Jolga is in too deep of love with Andrim and accepts him, becoming a bit corrupt himself. Third, there's Malaki and Lytro action. It's very emotional because Malaki has never had anyone genuinely care about him and he has an emotional connection with Lytro that he's never had before due to everyone using him for his body. During this, we see Nasha's younger brother also being "trained" so that's a horrible thing. And Nasha's sisters get pregnant by the winning beast too.

The Circus arc is a whole thing, but it probably will also be lacking context based on the rest of the manga, so that's a bit fo information I can provide. (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

    Yellow September 15, 2024 6:33 pm

    Do you know where to read the novel?

    Theystolemyname September 15, 2024 7:06 pm

    Sheeeesh, the circus arc is really a whole ass circus
    On another note, I didn't find the relationship between Juliette and Sigurd to be *that* off-putting. I think it was pretty clear in the manga too, that they didn't have much relationship, and Sigurd didn't like her, and wanted Jorga to be his dad (he got what he wanted, lol), not to mention that he was running behind the prince's tail like a puppy. Later, Andrim said that he didn't much spend time with him, and was instead raising Juliette, which pretty much translates into Juliette and Sigurd not spending time with eachother. And while to us it's wild to call someone "brother" or "sister" and have a romantic relationship with them, it's not used strictly between actual siblings in japan.
    Altough I do wish they would stop saying "brother" and "sister", pls just use names

    Qui Li September 15, 2024 10:33 pm
    Sheeeesh, the circus arc is really a whole ass circus On another note, I didn't find the relationship between Juliette and Sigurd to be *that* off-putting. I think it was pretty clear in the manga too, that the... Theystolemyname

    Lmao, I do understand about the brother/sister name calling. It doesn't translate well into english.

    I guess I'm more so explaining it to those who are confused and needed the summaries. There's a lot of ppl who don't understand the plot well or who are in the comments talking about "how can someone you see as a sibling be a lover?" When it's the fact that Sigurd and Julliette never really developed that sibling relationship that made it possible for them to fall in love, especially after the revelation that Sigurd was Jorga's son.

    Qui Li September 15, 2024 10:33 pm
    Do you know where to read the novel? Yellow

    Novel Updates, but you most will need an account to access the links.

    Qui Li September 15, 2024 10:34 pm
    Novel Updates, but you most will need an account to access the links. Qui Li

    You will need an account***

    Sorry, bad grammar lol

    Theystolemyname September 16, 2024 3:26 pm
    Lmao, I do understand about the brother/sister name calling. It doesn't translate well into english. I guess I'm more so explaining it to those who are confused and needed the summaries. There's a lot of ppl wh... Qui Li

    Yeah, I understand. Sometimes reading comprehension skills can fail even the best of us, lol, I myself asked some really stupid questions. I mainly wanted to support what you wrote, that it's not really that strange that they ended up together. That even the manga shows it enough.
    There are certainly some manga that are very questionable, with romance-but-not-really between actual blood related siblings or those that grew up as really close siblings...

    Yellow September 16, 2024 9:25 pm
    You will need an account***Sorry, bad grammar lol Qui Li

    I do have an account but all I found was the spoiler thread.

    Qui Li September 16, 2024 10:39 pm
    I do have an account but all I found was the spoiler thread. Yellow

    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/if-you-devour-poison/

    Yellow September 17, 2024 1:15 am
    https://www.novelupdates.com/series/if-you-devour-poison/ Qui Li

    ayo thank you sm man

Qui Li September 9, 2024 1:13 am

The whole Peter Erickson (is that his name lol) thing is going to be great. Mostly because that may not be part of JJs anger, but Leo will certainly see it that way.

It seems that JJ got close to Peter while being scouted, and JJ seems to love talking about racing, so it just seems natural for him to get along with drivers. Leo considered himself to be JJs only friend, which is a bit self centered, but JJ just has a new friend who shares similar interests, it may just be a nothing burger. And JJ not saying anything about what he's doing means nothing really, it could just be that JJ doesn't want to disclose his sexual encounters with friends. Also I doubt JJ would move on this fast, he's more likely to just focus on himself more than jump into a new relationship.

Also for anyone wanting Leo to drop JJ and get a new man, JJ has literally stated that that wouldn't surprise him. It would at most confirm that Leo never saw JJ as his boyfriend, so it's probably not something that JJ would fight against. He would be heartbroken but I doubt that'd have the effect some ppl are hoping for. Last time JJ saw Leo with another man, all he did was walk away, so yeeeeeaaaaaaah...

Anyways, Leo making a mountain out of an ant hill will be interesting. He did immediately assume JJ was sleeping with Peter rather than them just being friends.

Qui Li September 9, 2024 12:30 am

Yo, I'm going to put it in words that ppl should understand: If you are ever in a relationship, both partners should be putting 100% into the relationship. If one partner is inconsiderate of your time, uses you for sexual gratification but does not give back, and/or forgets 90% of what you say, would you not feel hurt? Would it not hurt that you literally put your everything into the relationship, your time, spirit, and heart only for your partner to reduce your relationship to "the sex is good"?

That's my problem with Leo. And let's be clear, I'm not saying JJ did nothing wrong, but the way people defend Leo is sick to me. Just because Leo is a little ditzy and cute does not mean he can walk all over his boyfriend. Both being at fault is true, neither JJ nor Leo hold the sole responsibility of the relationship ending. Both have communication problems, but the way ppl jump to defend Leo is so shitty. He is so stubborn in admitting he loves JJ out loud, he expects JJ to wait hand and foot for him, and he would rather ask to be sex friends than admit that he's hurt by JJ breaking up with him. JJ could have been more vocal, but it is still unknown if JJ brought up his issues with Leo before (aka we need more context) but based on how Leo has proven to forget what JJ says before, it would not surprise me if JJ has brought up the conversation only for Leo to forget.

Also to those saying JJ has said nothing about why they broke up, he did! He point blank asked Leo if he had ever considered JJ his boyfriend. It should not all be on JJ to explain, Leo is an adult, he is capable of considering what JJ says.

Leo is in deep denial and it's bitting him back. What JJ did at the warehouse (assault) was not good, so don't twist my words, but from now on JJ is going to put himself first and Leo second because sex friends don't act like a romantic couple. Leo is hurt only because he's beginning to realize that JJ has done a lot for him - acting like a personal trainer at times rather than as just a mechanic, which he was under no obligation to do. Leo expected to still be treated like before, with JJ following behind him or spoiling him, but now Leo only gets at max 2 hours with JJ and none of the extra stuff. It's sad because JJ is being petty, because he seems tired of trying to give Leo chances. Is it healthy? No! JJ should have just cut off the relationship but now he wants to hurt Leo.

And that is my point, both are wrong. It's not a Leo is the only one wrong or JJ is the only one wrong, both are wrong. Both are being stubborn, petty, and can't communicate to save the relationship. It's going to be a long journey for both.

And just to make things clearer, imagine this story is instead about a husband and wife. The wife does a lot for the husband, but he only cares about himself and expects the wife to just care for the home and himself without considering her own time. One day the wife says let's divorce, he would probably be one of those husband's who goes "it came out of nowhere!" But it didn't. The strain was there and the cracks went too deep, but he didn't listen, he expected all the physical and emotional weight to be on his wife because she chose to be a stay at home wife - she chose to care for the home! But that choice, didn't give him the right to just expect pampering all the time and to be free of the emotional burden of reminding his wife he loved her. Maybe the wife should have left earlier or spoken up more, but the problems were there and it would be selfish to expect only her to carry the emotional weight of their relationship.

Sorry for the long post again, I just wanted to express my feelings.

Qui Li August 25, 2024 11:10 pm

The one thing that really bothers me is that when Leo and JJ had that one argument at the club, JJ insinuated that he was wasn't bothered by the idea of Leo seeking other ppl out for sex dueing their relationship. I don't know if he was being serious but if my boyfriend said that I would flip! What do you mean I would cheat on him?! What do you mean he would be fine with it?!

I don't know how Leo hasn't questioned JJ about it, it is just weird to me. It's one of the many things JJ has said outright, so it does stand out. To me this really shows that Leo doesn't really take into account what JJ says, because it would piss me off but Leo just lumps it together as one of the things JJ has held back and nothing more.

Also, I wonder exactly why JJ feels this. At first it seems like something related to security in their relationship, but it being something that JJ holds against Leo makes it significant with other context (like how Leo is a big party goer). I wonder if there was a misunderstanding in the past about it.

I've added this one of the many things they need to talk about for my sanity ┗( T﹏T )┛

Qui Li August 19, 2024 3:46 am

The crash itself was a wake up call for Leo, but Leo is still not ready to admit it. The crash wasn't deadly but it came about because Leo refuses to grow up. He's not taking responsibility for his own well being, physically or psychologically, because he has been so reliant on JJ. Now JJ is not in the clear because he did not communicate all his feelings, leading to Leo continuing like nothing was wrong, but JJ is right when he called out Leo on not being 19 anymore but still acting the same. Leo is a grown ass adult, he should be able to rely on himself, especially as a professional in his field. He let himself go, continued clubbing, let his ego win over reasoning, leading to his crash. He was lucky nothing serious happened but he put blame on having lost JJ (his fortuna) rather than his own lack of self-care and self-control. He's gonna receive another wake up call from JJ however.

I believe in his conversation with JJ, Leo will express regret and try to artificially repair their relationship. He may even call JJ his fortuna and outright state why he wants to get back together, which WILL anger JJ. So far JJ has wanted distance from Leo, not because he loves him less or bc he got a better offer somewhere else, but because he wants Leo and him to have a better relationship by being able to grow as individuals in a relationship. So far it seems Leo gets more out of the relationship than JJ, we see it in the first chapter where Leo has sex with JJ but only receives his own gratification and leaves JJ on his own (High and dry). JJ also strangely seems to not be completely bothered by the idea of Leo sleeping with others, and while I assume it may have come from a misunderstanding it seems that JJ doesn't believe that Leo really loves him. JJ may believe that their relationship is more transactional than it truly is, and that's why he questions if Leo has ever seen him as his boyfriend. Thus, Leo coming to talk to JJ about JJ being his fortuna (rather than someone he loves) may cement the idea that Leo does not see their relationship like JJ does. Ultimately, JJ might leave and Leo will have to make a decision - his ego or his relationship.

    BluBunny August 19, 2024 5:13 am

    Tbh Leo is selfish. But his ego isn't that massive.
    He never puts others down nor talks bad about others. He doesn't even lash out when someone points out his flaws or calls him out for shit.
    Being selfish is different than having an ego.
    If Leo must make a decision it will most likely come down to his feelings for JJ...and his feelings for racing itself. Which we have seen are tied together as one.
    So in the end...if this conversation ends badly...which it most likely will.
    Leo will most likely become truly heartbroken and drop racing entirely. (Probably will go back to modeling...or if current events continue. Become depressed)

    JJ will feel heartbroken as well. But in his stoic attitude will just leave Leo and move on in his life while later having a reason to feel guilty. Only to realize he fucked up as well and will try to reconnect with a man he has broken.


    We will probably be sent on some angst laps just like a race car ironically XD

    Qui Li August 25, 2024 5:35 pm
    Tbh Leo is selfish. But his ego isn't that massive. He never puts others down nor talks bad about others. He doesn't even lash out when someone points out his flaws or calls him out for shit. Being selfish is... BluBunny

    Eh, I do think Leo has a bit of an ego. An ego doesn't necessarily mean that you outwardly treat people bad, but we have seen Leo looking down on other racers (not even remembering their names). He does react strongly to others talking negatively/criticizing him (not punching ppl or directly calling them names) BUT inwardly he reacted strongly to JJ criticizing him when they met. Leo has an ego, but it doesn't mean he's an asshole.

    My deal is that Leo's ego won't let him admit he loves JJ because "ew cringe, I called him my fortuna ew". Even his recent conversation with JJ focuses on how it will help Leo with his racing because Leo can't outwardly admit he loves JJ and needs him not bc he (JJ) is his fortuna but because he misses JJ and wants to fix their relationship. In the new chapter, Leo would rather ask to be fwb than admit he wants JJ back. Leo didn't call JJ during their breakup and even tried to find hook ups bc he wanted JJ to make the first move to avoid admitting he wants JJ back. He blames losing his fortuna, not losing JJ's love and support, for his "bad luck", which is not actually bad luck but it is him both not taking care of himself and not listening to others about the race.

    Sorry for the late response!

    Inque August 25, 2024 5:40 pm

    This is so beautiful put together.

Qui Li August 11, 2024 11:04 pm

See, I understand ppl being mad at T, because he is running away when E needs him, but I think it's reasonable in his own thought process. Now, keep in mind that when you are mentally unwell, you zero-in on your toxic/negative thoughts more over anything else. You can see it with T tunning out from the conversation with the doctor and how at the end he "takes on" the depressed appearance of E from the past. While E is healing and learning to move on despite the hurt caused to him, T is only now truly taking in the consequences of his actions and he's struggling to move past his actions to see that E actually wants to be with him.

He was already ready to free E from himself after rescuing him, so his mentality is already leaning toward E being free from himself. However, E decided to forgive him and while T has done terrible things, most of them can be overcome with time, but a baby? That's a more constant reminder and an even bigger consequence of his actions, and T knows E cares about his family, so he can't even imagine how hurt E would be. Will E have to endure more pain to forgive T again? T isn't logically thinking right now, he's only focused on wanting to stop hurting E, but with the miscarriage news his negative thinking is being re enforced. E will only stop hurting when T stops holding onto E.

Another point is that, T might believe that E doesn't actually want to be with him. Again, a negatively re-enforced though. T may think that E might have only been wanting to be with T because of the pregnancy, which could work in the same fashion as the debt, as another form of controlling and holding onto E by force. E may realize one day that he doesn't love T but may find himself trapped in the relationship again. T just wants E to be free and happy but T has only hurt him and chained him and the miscarriage news severs any little rationale left in T to forgive himself and move on.

Unfortunately, I believe that T may be going through the same thing as E initially did. T may feel stuck, unable to live without E but unable to forgive himself enough to return to E. I think he may consider suicide as a method to deal with this crossroad. He may run away, hide, or just avoid E enough to earn the money to support E and his brother, deciding to sink himself into the ocean. He may just run away now and try to commit suicide. Regardless, it definitely feels ominous for T to suddenly have the same design as E from when E was suicidal.

Qui Li August 4, 2024 3:16 pm

Dude I am so excited to see the redemption arc after the regret arc. Of course, Leo isn't the only one to blame but he pisses me off nonetheless (partially because he reminds me of the green haired bitch in another manga who literally broke up and avoided his loving and devoted boyfriend because they weren't in the honeymoon stage anymore (╬ ̄皿 ̄)凸 ). I get that eventually the honeymoon stage ends, but you still have to work on your relationship everyday afterwards. If your boyfriend feels that he won't be listened to, that's a problem too, because Leo has jumped conclusions and assumptions before truly giving JJ the space to talk. JJ wanted to wait until Leo was sober to talk on the night they broke up, Leo began to make dramatics, in the night before the flashback, Leo asserted he would listen to JJ but began to hit him with his assumptions "where you paid off? were gonna leve me regardless?" Leo even brushed off the idea that JJ could just be friends or giving tips to the other racer, and just assumed that JJ is sleeping with the racer - not considering how devoted JJ was. He didnt even think about what JJ meant by they need space, which sounds clear if you consider that JJ was trying to save their relationship by allowing their lives to be less intertwined so they could be a couple, not just something closer to fuck buddies.
Honestly, JJ could have communicated better but where is the line? Should JJ be the only one aware of their issues? Should he be the only one starting the conversation? It seems that all JJ wanted was for Leo to text or call him to talk things out, but instead Leo let his ego win and still expected JJ to take the first step. It gets exhausting to see one person doing their best, even at their own inconvenience, and their partner overlooking everything because they finally showed how upset they are.

Rant over, I want my redemption arc badly lol

    Vampslay August 4, 2024 3:22 pm

    Which green haired b!tch

    Qui Li August 4, 2024 3:51 pm
    From this: https://www.mangago.me/read-manga/his_enemy_downstairs/ Qui Li

    My first point was not totally correct, the green haired guy thought his loving, devoted, and voice acting boyfriend was cheating bc he overheard his boyfriend practicing, but refused to communicate and just ran away making wild assumptions. Point still stands for this story, but man do I hate that green haired motherfucker.

Qui Li August 3, 2024 4:44 pm

There were a few odd lines throughout, so my guess the r- line was maybe "attack you" not anything else. But yeahhhhhhhhhh, cute story overall

Qui Li August 2, 2024 11:47 pm

After re reading I realized the older brother is such a massive hypocrite. It turns out, the older brother's father had multiple human partners. And it kind of is weird that he applies two different standards to his parents, where one can have multiple partners and the other can't. Not to mention that it further shows that the older brother is following the fucked up logic of the village, where they essentially can own their partners and are superior to humans. He doesn't view the MC as his own person but rather as a possession to own, which Coro also did at the beginning until he started being more considerate of the MC. Not that Coro is 100% better BUT the older brother is nothing but a jerk who wants to get rid of his half brother and nephew to own and impregnate his childhood crush - who btw, may not even be the correct brother by some theories floating around!!!!!

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