brett is strong asf bc the moment a man like hayden takes me on a scenic date and tells me i make him happy ill pull his pants down then and there
even though this chapter is seemingly very romantic and it seems like a lot of readers just read it that way (?) i thought there also was this off-ness with brett where hayden seemed really into the date but brett was (understandably) more detached/numb and processing things much more passively than usual. imo it's impressive that the author was able to convey this sense of disquiet!
hayden's belief that the boundaries bw fantasy and reality are very blurry is SOOO LIBERAL ARTS like hello were you my classmate..being with hayden is definitely a kind of escape for brett and the fantasy is both real but also kind of fake since we know that hayden is actually being kept in the dark re. everything that has been happening. like we get these pockets of romantic fantasy every time hayden adn brett meet up but we know they are not actually on the same wavelength
brett musing about what hayden has given him when hayden gave him a safeword..in the past brett preferred that things were out of his control/hayden acted unpredictably bc that's what represented freedom was for brett but now imo he's realizing that hayden gave him freedom through CHOICE (via safeword) - i think that's kind of the beginning of a real paradigm switch for brett. but there's still a whole host of issues to contend with between them (including hayden's overly romanticized version of events, still). a real calm before the storm-type chapter.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I don't know if it's because my period is here or because I miss my mother too but this chapter made me so freaking emotional.
