Work with your feelings. Write in a diary or get therapy, if you must, and acknowledge your emotions. Is it fear you feel? Think about why you are scared. Or are you insecure? Do you feel you are not worthy of being loved? Perhaps you carry some trauma from the past?
You may also want to look up 'wheel of emotions' on google, as people typically o...... reply
The "if you leave me, I'll kill myself" is a very typical reaction for people, who are borderline (if I remember correctly). Sounds like your mom may have a personality disorder. Take a look at this https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=to5qRLRSS7g
Also have you talked about this with your dad? Do that first.. or talk with another (adult) relative that y...... reply