
So I heard that reading only yaoi/bl/shounen ai etc is fetishizing gay men so I don't want them to feel like that.
Doesn't matter if it's a manga a manhwa or a manhua,recommend me a story with a strong female lead,or like ones with cold but smart female leads,"The Lady and Her Butler " is an example,sorry for the high standard, and tnx.

I don't think reading only BL IS fetishizing gay men. It's a thing that's been going around, which may be mainly due to fujoshis and shippers disregarding ACTUAL gay men or making light of their situation.
As long as you are respectful I don't see anything wrong with it.
In the end of the day BL is just fiction.

this yaoi has a really like big seme and has peircing on his nipples and I'm not really sure if he has one on his dick the seme is dark skinned and dark haired while the uke has light colored hair and fair skin (/TДT)/

http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/raion_gotoki_no_kuni_kara/ ? no nipple piercing but does have one on his ╮( ̄▽ ̄)╭
it's a bl manga, about dragons, the first story was about a reincarnated dragon, looking for his mate at an island, but the mate was eventually his secretary, top was blonde and big and handsome, bottom wears glasses, has black hair and definitely gorgeous, pls help me look for it THANKS!
I think it's this one
Koisuru Ryuu no Shima (Yaoi)
Blackdragon arc-is abt the dragon looking for his reincarnated mate unknowingly its his secretary
There 's also a White dragon arc (different couple)
YEAH IT IS THANK YOU SO MUCH!