Sage's Favorite

Ch99, this chapter reminded me of Arc Chimera Ant Hunterxhunter

minor spoilers and opinion (i'm emotional)




You know what's the most fucked up thing about Claude losing his memories? It's the fact that he's also losing his time with Athanasia. He met Athy when she was like 4 or 5? That's a lot of development for a kid. Her first words, her first steps, her first baby tooth, etc. he never got to see them. And now that she's older, if it follows the novel route, he misses out on 1 year of her life because he gets his memories back on Athy's next birthday. Claude misses out on his daughter's life TWICE. Let that sink it.

Also, regarding the portrait of Claude and Athy. People don't seem to be understanding its symbolism.

(1) The only time Claude ever commissioned a portrait was when he first became emperor since it was compulsory; there's a specific wall in the palace for the portraits of each emperor all throughout Obelian history. Why did he never consider another portrait after that? I feel like not only did he feel he couldn't be bothered because it wasn't necessary to commission anything more, he also didn't like seeing a mirror of himself or he didn't like looking at himself in general. Jeweled blue eyes signify royal blood right? Claude should've been glorified just for having those features but instead, most if not all of Claude's life, he wasn't treated like royalty because he was the child of a concubine. He was even named "Claude" which in French translates to being a "limp" or "impaired". He was labeled a limping prince basically. So seeing himself (on a portrait) jeweled blue eyes, golden blonde hair and all, probably made him feel insignificant like back when he was younger. This is why he also doesn't take jokes or compliments about his appearance seriously, like when Athy calls him handsome.

In a different sense, he's also very perceptive of himself. When he lost his memories and went to check on the portrait, he immediately noticed the expression on his face in the painting. That's because portrait Claude was smiling; not only by the lips but by the eyes. If you recall, there's a scene in season 2 where images of Claude becoming angrier and deadpan as he grew up are shown. Not once had he smiled, it was always either a glare or an indifferent stare. Comparing that to his face in the portrait with Athy, it really says a lot. Basically, "When was the last time I smiled like that?" (since Diana probably. cough cough my heart hurts)

(2) And when he commissioned a second portrait; the first-ever since he became emperor over a decade ago, he didn't do it just because Athy asked for it. Typically the royal family commissioning a portrait means it'll be put on the palace wall for generations to come. So that meant Claude - the man who's cut all ties to his blood relatives, lost his mother, lost his lover and basically lost any form of family he ever had - didn't mind showing the whole empire and its descendants in the future that he loved his daughter - that he was still capable of loving despite his constant denial; to the point that he'd do something so unlike of his personality.

Here's where I get teary.

(3) Athy asked for the portrait because she had a feeling that someday, at some point, Claude would ultimately choose Jeanette over her. In her debutant, she was convinced her time with Claude was over which is why she said she had to "trick everyone in order to survive". At that time, she was afraid. And on that day she asked for a portrait, she felt the exact same fear. She knew it was inevitable which is why she wanted to record it. It didn't matter if Claude pushed her away, she was thankful for the memories he shared with her. The portrait represented a time in their lives where they were happy and Claude loved her as a daughter - as family. Knowing that in Athy's past life as an orphan and as Athanasia in Lovely Princess she never had a family, and that Claude was in a similar situation since he'd lost and gotten rid of any trace of family in his life, makes it all the more heart-wrenching. Athy even mentioned how "Claude was the closest thing to a father" to her.

Imagine how Claude's gonna feel, after the amnesia, coming to terms that he has been the only person to ever hurt her; abandoning her when she was a baby, and abandoning her now with the loss of his memories.

TO DEFEAT THE HUNS-