feralbeing

Yeah. Like gonna type ItS NATUral Sirrrrrr

Yh I feel like only stories romanticize this but if this happened to me with a guy I thought was my friend I’d be soo uncomfortable tbh

Im not sure about the red flag part, but like being in a relationship with someone ive known for years seems better than anything. There are many ppl who might have a crush on their best friend of opposite gender who may choose to confess or move on.
Like the fl had the option to just let it be a one night and then just be friends later or maybe break the friendship totally. But she didnt right? Like the ex bf was trash whole time.
And also there are ppl who like their friend but also dont want to date them at the same time like ml did. Like he just wanted to spend time with her without having the urge ro date her n all. Just spending time with ur fav person is enough than making it progress to a romantic relationship or anything of that sort

As I have mentioned in the first line of my comment, what I said is based on my experience and I agree on the first reply about this being romanticized sm.

Liking a friend is not a red flag, I know. But he kept on liking her the whole time despite knowing that she’s dating someone. And not just liking, he kept on looking for chances. He was always waiting for a chance. He’s been waiting for them to break up. It’s been so many years, and when they were still in school, they were happy together. But he was never happy for her. Like wow, your “friend” was not happy that you’re happy cuz he likes you and that he’s waiting for his chance. Big red flag.

Additionally, liking a friend and going for a chance when she’s single is not a bad thing. But immediately going for it the moment she became single from a long-ass relationship while she’s emotionally vulnerable and still unable to think properly or even let what happened sink in? Making her think that doing it with him is fine cuz the ex cheated? That’s manipulation. And what’s with the “You’ve always been mine.” That line is a freaking red flag cuz that just means that while she was still happy with the relationship, he’s been thinking that she really belongs to him like some kind of property. You don’t own people. Red flag.

And I don’t agree with the notion of being with a friend is better than someone else. I mean yeah, you save yourselves from the getting to know you stage since you already know each other well. But there are lots of long lasting relationships out there who started as strangers, but lasted because from the start, they interacted with the thought that one of them likes the other, so the option of relationship is already on the table. But what happened to them is he never freaking considered her as a friend. NEVER. Cuz he has just been seeing her as a love interest. So just imagine your long-ass best friend never really considered you as a friend and is only with you because he has been looking for chances to be with you. That is freaking betrayal and I’d feel really uncomfortable. Red flag.

Again liking a friend is not a bad thing. But in this case, he never considered her as a friend. It has always been liking a woman for him.

I mean yeah, your friend secretly liking you is a cute trope in stories but it’s overly romanticized. Some people confess because they don’t want to lose a friendship. But dude? When you know that the person you like, friend or not, is dating someone else, it’s a moral thing to do to give up and not even try. Some confess just to let everything go and move on. But guess what, he never did. Cuz apparently, she’s always been his. Like wtf.

I am so sorry for the long reply, but I was just trigerred by my past experience. Stories and real life are wayyy different. That’s why I am still able to read this cuz I’m able to separate the two. But a red flag is a red flag.

Yh I also agree and resonate with this cuz it happened to me. He didn’t think of her as a friend the entire relationship he thought of coveting her and didn’t think the ex bf deserved her (he didn’t even know how the ex bf was like at the time) and had sex with her while both of them were drunk but she was even more drunk and even worse he was manipulating her into thinking that she was doing the right thing. He was taking advantage of her vulnerable state and that’s a red flag. This kinda thing only works well in stories and while I enjoyed it I knew that if this kinda thing happened in real life that’s not a nice and wonderful person that’s a manipulative and gaslighting walking red flag (again happened to me and I had to mourn my lost friendship of 7 years…)

I 100% agree with, my friend is divorcing her cheating ass husband and her friend ended by telling her after she announced the new that he's always liked her and had a thing for her. To me that was weird like he was just waiting for their downfall.

But if the friend knew that their friend is a trash but not saying anything because he makes her happy
For some it might be creepy, but like most might not think about a friends partner in a sexual way

To be fair to Jihoo, the big difference is that he didn’t feel entitled to Siyeong or felt she owed him. He already had given up any hopes of getting with her and respected her and Woojin’s relationship even if he felt Woojin didn’t treasure her the way she deserved. He was very willing to keep his feelings to himself for the rest of his life and actually tried to move on even though it was unsuccessful. You can’t control feelings but you can control actions. His feelings for Siyeong was actually a burden on him at one point because he just want to be her friend that she wanted. He genuinely wanted her to be happy even if he was not the one for her.

Now should he have waited and gave her space to mourn over her traumatic breakup with Woojin? Yes. But I dunno if he would have made the move if she wasn’t receptive and he was willing to back down if she wanted. He was lucky that Siyeong did find him attractive but had buried it inside of her because her hatred towards cheaters.

I agree. I thought the same. But then when I read I realised he is actually not like those types of men who are preying on a woman and wait for a chance. This guy never made it obvious he was into her. He was a genuine friend to her. He had resigned to the fact it is one-sided and that he will never have her, but he just wanted to be her friend at least and see her happy. So he never did nothing. He was a friend. And look how much he respected the fact he is a man who is into her, cause he never went to her house in 9years of knowing her and she never got invited to his. He kept his distance. I knew men like the type you describe and they will like act all innocent, while grooming you literally. They will touch you in a way that makes you go ?, but you write it off, because they act innocent and are talking like a friend. They will come to your house and all. They will be everywhere in your life and do somewhat two-faced things that make a part of you go ?, but it is quiet in the back, because they are acting like a friend while doing all that. They are slowly grooming you to accept more and more of them and maybe try to lure you into coming to them. Like I can tell you stories. Real ones. Horrible ones. And Jiho isn't like that. I would say they both were vulnerable that night. Both were drunk af and he waited for her consent and never is doing anything that she doesn't want. He did not coerce her or anything. And she was into it. Like really into it. Not half assed. To me only a full on yes with body and soul is a true consent. I totally agree with all of you and understand you and was almost with you, until I read what he was saying. This guy never expected anything from Jiho. He was resigned to be her friend and always has just been a good friend. Dude did not even try to be something like a best friend or become someone who she is so comfy with he is like a brother from another mother who basically is always at her house (those preying mf do this, cause then they are around to jump when they get a chance ). He kept a good distance. He was platonic with her through and through. Just privately, in his own mind and heart, things were happening. But he never projected them. That is fine. You cannot blame people for what is going on inside their body. As long as it does not affect reality outside of them, it has nothing to do with nobody and isn't something you can judge. Is the same as thinking "I fucking hate this woman." to a relative, while you smile sweetly and say pleasant things as if you love them or what. Nobody can blame you for thinking. Or feeling. It is a private thing. As long as it doesn't affect your outside world, as long as it doesn't affect the people around you, it literally has nothing to do with nobody and is nouns business to judge. We are humans. Humans are complex. And the only way to judge someone is based on their actions. Everyone has a shadow. But do they project it? That is what matters.

Totally agree on this. Feelings are feeling after all. Like one may have feelings/crush on someone with partner in any point of life but matters that they never made a move on the person with a partner just because they had some feelings. A creep wont wait to take an action whereas a green flag will suppress the feelings to make the person comfortable