pumpkinmilk's Favorite

Can someone tell me the exact order on how to read this, like am I supposed to read the other version first and stop at some chapter to read it here or can I just start reading this one and it will be the same meaning I will know the whole plot? pls im confused

THESE THREE ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME. This series is the most perfectly exquisite agony because you can make rock-solid arguments for Haesoo picking either Seme. It's maddening and it's beautiful.

Joowon is frequently associated with the past (long-term non-relationship, attached to the fact they're former stepbrothers, they still relate to each other like their teenage selves, Joowon keeping photos of them as teenagers, the fact the story opens with Haesoo in a writing rut because he can only write about his past with Joowon) while Taekyung is frequently associated with the future (helps Haesoo's career by asking him to model, leads to the book deal, Taekyung inspired Haesoo to write new material again, giving Haesoo the new experience of having a boyfriend he can flaunt), which makes me think he's going to pick Taekyung.

But Joowon and Haesoo are seen engaging in both sexual and tender/intimate acts (Joowon coming over just to sleep platonically, Haesoo washing Joowon's hair) whereas Haesoo and Taekyung's intimacy always turns sexual (the photoshoots, when Haesoo was sick they still had sex, and they only woke up next to each other after having sex). That makes me think Haesoo will pick Joowon.

Smoking is a metaphor for Haesoo and Joowon's relationship. Joowon taught Haesoo how to smoke (and that comment "I learned all my bad habits from Joowon"), early in the series Haesoo said he wanted to quit smoking but Joowon made fun of him because he's convinced Haesoo never will, Taekyung's comment about a 'smoker's semen tastes bitter,' all the drama with Joowon finding Taekyung's lighter, then knowing Haesoo had been in Taekyung's studio when he found the empty cigarette box and Taekyung crunching it up and throwing it away angrily, the fact that Haesoo was smoking on the roof and Joowon came up in the conversation, the picture of Haesoo kissing Taekyung with smoke STILL on his lips, and Taekyung's chilling comment about Haesoo's taste kissing bitter WHILE HE WAS THINKING OF JOOWON. And the fact that Taekyung doesn't smoke. As long as Haesoo is a smoker, he's going to pick Joowon. If he quits smoking, then he'll pick Taekyung.

The fact that Taekyung is shown, multiple times, to be able to anticipate Haesoo's needs better than Haesoo himself can (Taekyung carrying a lighter even though he isn't a smoker, Taekyung bandaging Haesoo's injured hand before Haesoo thought to do it, Taekyung making Haesoo eat and take medicine when he was sick when Haesoo was just going to sleep it off, when that wine spilled on Haesoo and Taekyung toweled him off without Haesoo asking first, and when Taekyung asks Haesoo to be his boyfriend and Haesoo says no but it's revealed that Haesoo did say yes in the second half of their conversation). This is the opposite of Joowon who tries to fulfill Haesoo's needs but can never get it quite right (letting Haesoo borrow his car but Haesoo never used it, Joowon letting Haesoo provoke his jealousy/anger because it turns Haesoo on, the general way Joowon twisted his behavior to meet Haesoo's desire for an obsessive love even though it's been damaging, the time Joowon reminded Haesoo to stop picking his cuticles reactively instead of proactively). This makes me think that Haesoo will pick Taekyung.

The way the story is set up, Taekyung fits the role of The Rival. But unlike most BL, he is a very well-developed rival. It depends on how much the creator wants to lean into that trope. The Rival is supposed to push the Seme and Uke closer together. Joowon and Haesoo's relationship was built on a bad foundation. They had a bond but a non-relationship that never would have grown had it continued unchallenged. Taekyung has challenged them and definitely facilitated growth. If Taekyung really is a classic Rival, then that makes me think Haesoo will pick Joowon.

BUT, the creator has gone very far out of her way to show us that Joowon and Haesoo are mutually bad for each other (Joowon almost quit acting over Haesoo, Haesoo knowingly twisting Joowon's behavior, Haesoo becoming "all dark and moody" in high school after they started having sex, the whole smoking metaphor when smoking is obviously bad for a person, their relationship broke up their parents' marriage), which makes me think Haesoo will pick Taekyung.

But what might be driving me THE NUTTIEST is that the creator has set up two equally plausible, equally beautiful, and equally explosive ending options. We've seen Joowon flash that engagement ring a few times now which is a BL cliche but always a winner. OR, there have been two mentions that Haesoo's parents (might just have been Mom, can't remember) think Haesoo should study abroad to get away from Joowon. And guess who has one more semester of school in Japan? TAEKYUNG.

Like everyone else, I felt super betrayed by Katou's death. Katou x Iwaki are the original OTP of a healthy BL couple and that is why they are so precious to the community. This series was a turning point in BL by showing two Seme-like partners who build an actual life together. The drama centers around their loving and healthy relationship and careers instead of usual BL silliness or angst. So, to kill Katou felt like an enormous punch in the gut. They were supposed to get their happily ever after. After all, if not them, then who? If Iwaki and Katou can't be happy forever in the Yaoiverse then what hope does anyone else have? I think Youka Nitta messed up majorly.

Or did she?
Frankly, I don't know if this was her actual intention, and honestly, I don't even care. If she didn't mean it this way, she freaking should have:

Let me start with the title: Embracing Love. Haru Wo is the story of Iwaki embracing his love for Katou. He begins the series with a lot of shame around being an AV actor and having feelings for Katou. Katou never has this internal struggle. It's important to remember Iwaki's starting point.

I think the ending of Alive is meant to parallel Fuyu No Semi/Winter Cicada. Katou and Iwaki are reincarnations of Kasuka and Akizuki. That was established in Haru Wo. In Fuyu No Semi, Kusaka/Katou became a politician and specifically stated he was doing it to create a world where Kusaka and Akizuki, who were from opposing clans, could embrace their love for each other openly.

In the epilogue, Iwaki also beaome a politician and a gay rights activist. He never took another lover, but for someone who started the series with so much shame, it was MAJOR character development that Iwaki's professional life and legacy became centered around his not-exactly-gay identity. Even without Katou by his side, Iwaki continued to embrace his love for Katou. That's huge.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. What else happened in Fuyu No Semi? Unfortunately, Kusaka couldn't bear to live without Akizuki and killed himself before making any successful social changes. Well, Iwaki did find a way to live without Katou and actually succeeded in legalizing gay marriage and DID make a world where his relationship with Katou would be accepted. I think this is why Katou expressed gratitude to Iwaki for living his life well. Iwaki achieved something Kusaka could not.

BUT WAIT THERE'S MORE. Akizuki/Iwaki had that soliloquy about wishing they lived in a world where they could have a happy life together forever and makes the Winter Cicada analogy about how their relationship is akin to hibernating/sleeping. Before Kusaka plunged that knife into himself, he said something about how he believed they would be reincarnated together into a more accepting world and get the time they deserved together. Iwaki and Katou are the reincarnations of Kusaka and Akizuki. This establishes Iwaki and Katou have a relationship that can span multiple lifetimes.

Somewhere along the way in Fuyu No Semi, Akizuki makes a comment about wishing they had more time together. And in Haru Wo, Katou and Iwaki DO get more time together. A lot more time. I think Akizuki and Katou only really had 4 years but Akuzuki was basically imprisoned that whole time. But Katou and Iwaki were together, for what? 10 or 15 years? I'm not super clear on the timeline, but point being, they were happy for the time that they had.

WHICH BRINGS ME TO THE OPTIMISTIC PART: Seeing Iwaki and Katou fly off together, I don't think this was implying they were going to heaven. I think it implies that they're going to be reincarnated again. Because today, gay marriage is illegal in Japan so there was always this undertone of sadness in their relationship. They had social acceptance (mostly), but not legal acceptance. This life was far, far better than the one in Fuyu No Semi, but with all of the parallels, I believe they're going to get a 3rd chance to be happy together forever in a future Japan, that Iwaki helped create.

Iwaki struggled to embrace Katou's love just as Japan struggles to embrace love between two men. While the audience has watched Iwaki's transformation the past 20 years, Youka Nitta has been watching the world's transform.

I think Iwaki and Katou will have peace. Their love has spanned multiple lifetimes and will continue to do so. Their souls have been looking for an era where they can truly be together, and next time, they will. They will be able to 100% embrace each other without political obstacles and without social obstacles. Our boys will be happy. Next time.

I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING. (A total lie. I cried my eyes out 3 different times writing this.)

(I am so so curious to hear anyone's thoughts on this.)

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This is apparently how it ends like, imma insert translation of the final chapter:

I don’t know if you all can read Japanese.



But Iwaki died at their 50th wedding anniversary (that means he was over 80 years old).



After Katou left, Iwaki left his position as entertainment company’s President and became a politician who fighted for laws that allowed same sex marriage. The law later was passed by Japanese Congress.



After he died in the hospital (both because of his heart disease and oldage), his soul flies back to their house. He saw Katou when he opened his eyes.



Iwaki said, What takes you so long? I have been waiting for you for so long.



Katou said, It’s me who is waiting for you for so long. I’m always by your side. Thank you for living a worthy life.



And they said congratulations to each other as it’s their 50th wedding anniversary.



They kissed each other and flied up to the heaven.



In reality, Yousuke buried Iwaki right next to Katou as Iwaki’s wish.

U can also find it here: https://www.tumgir.com/tag/haru+wo+daiteita

rest in peace younghos asshole, pushed to its very limits, truly an exemplary anus may it be remembered for its perseverance