yaoist's Things

hey...tbh i kinda forgot how to ask a question, it's been so long
anyways my best guy friend confessed to me yesterday and honestly I could kinda tell it was coming a few minutes before because his friends kept shipping us and hyping him up to do "it" (which i realized was asking me out). im gonna be honest, the last relationship I had didn't end well bc i lost feeling so quickly and thought i was a lesbian bc of that. I don't think i've ever truly loved someone romantically, and i dont really feel the urge to kiss someone REAL. when i think about this friend, hes so kind and knows me so well but i dont know if i like him like that?? like I just can't tell :( i've always been bad with this though
bc of my panic, i said sure and made up some excuse about having to ask my parents to make sure theyre okay with it to have an out for myself just in case. he seemed so excited and i feel so bad but i just feel like i'm going to have to come up with a way to turn him down instad.
with my draining schedule and strict parents, it'd be impossible for us to date openly too
i'm so scared about ruining our friendship bc hes my best friend and i really don't want things to change. I guess that confirms I don't like him right?? i don't know i can't tell. i really do want to date and have a relationship and do couple stuff but only in my imaginations. irl, i just never feel attracted to anyone in that way (yet).....(there was one guy recently who i felt a spark with but he ghosted me which rlly surprised me bc he asked me out first?? but thats a whole different issue...)
anyways what do you guys think?? i need an outside perspective (or a couple i guess) bc idk if i should try it out and see if i end up liking him like that, or just figure out how to say no and keep our friendship....

idk if what im asking makes sense,
but mine is enemies to lovers >:D

anyone know where to find raws of lezhin comics (specifically pian pian and a man of virtue) in spanish???

i rlly want to read pian pian but i cant find it anywhere :(
can someone tell me ways to get free coins on lezhin?
(or where to read pian pian lmao)

my friend and i have been acting like we're dating for a couple months (calling eachother love and saying ily <3 etc) but idk if we r actually dating??? we never asked each other out and we've only met irl 2 times. i dont have any romantic feelings for them but i think they do. i heard from another friend that they have actual feelings and think we r actually dating (they said this back in february so maybe it changed???)
the problem is that there is another person i like who also kinda likes me (also complicated,,,)
i feel guilty and im wondering if i should ask the friend im "dating" if we r actually together. im worried i might hurt her feelings tho :(
any suggestions?