and nah he did neglect him still. it’s not like he was the one who educated vicente personally. i’m pretty sure he just passed him off to his tutors. both of them didn’t give vicente the proper love and attention you would give a child which also counts as neglect.
The mother isn’t any better than the father. They both have issues. Yes the mother issues is worser then the father but they both have problems. You’re putting the sole blame on the father like everything is his fault when it isn’t. So “are you ok?”
And i meant exactly what i said. She shouldn’t have neglected her child or blame her child because none of it is that child fault but guess what? SHE DID. and now there a reason to why she did it and that because she have depression. She didn’t want to neglect her child and she truly wanted to love her child and show her child love but because of her depression and anxiety she couldn’t show her child the love she wanted to.
If you can read im not blaming the mother for neglecting her child. I’ve said more than once that it wasn’t her fault. But don’t just pin everything on the father like it’s his fault that she neglected the son. Because it’s not. The father and mother both have issues but to solely blame the mother or the father just aint it. More people is hating on the father then the mother. People love the mother more than the father. Quit trying to justify yourself and “justify” why the father is shitty. NO ONE. Not the mother or the father should be blame. It not their fault. So let it go.
yep they both have issues. but my point is, like OP here, people are excusing the father for his neglectful actions towards the mother and his child and condensing it to a few, “oh that’s okay because it’s normal for him to be like that during that time period bc he was raised that way”. op even said to stop hating on the husband and sympathizing with him before going off on a rant abt the mother and how her mental illness didn’t excuse her actions.
are you sure you’re getting my point?
yep and the father also neglected the child. no one’s saying it’s his fault that she neglected the son. and i’m not pinning everything on him. but it certainly would’ve helped for him to comfort the mother instead of just trying to send her off somewhere to go on a vacation as his own means of helping her lol. or are you going to tell me that a stoic husband who doesn’t try to comfort his wife is normal during that time period too?
How about you? Are you also saying that to the people who is solely blaming the husband? Are do you just care about people not hating on the mother but could careless if they hate on the father?
At the end of the day both the mother and the father have issues and is both at fault for neglecting their child and mentally hurting their child. Don’t put all the blame on one person.
The op shouldn’t have made it seem like the mother mental health isn’t important. But the other commenters shouldn’t be putting all the blame on the father as if he knew what was going on with her.
They both need to talk it out with each other and learn how to communicate. They need to become a better family for their son.
I’m tired of going back and forth with you especially when you’re not listening and just wanna blame the husband since he didn’t “do good enough” for your taste.
At the end of the day they both have issues and yes the husband should have comfort the wife but it’s clear that he doesn’t know how. Him sending her off to vacation was his weird way of comforting her of course that was a terrible way. The husband and the wife needs to talk and work things out so they can become a better family.
So thanks for the conversation and i hope you have a wonderful day/evening/night.
...then you probably shouldn’t have commented on my reply lol esp bc it was only OP that i was zeroing in on abt their biased judgment. excusing the father for his actions bc it’s what’s apparently “normal” in the society. but also putting the pressure on the mother and saying that she shouldn’t be excused just bc of her mental illness?
and god, it’s not like i was the one who said that everything should be blamed on the father. did i ever say that? nope. maybe you’re the one not listening here.
From my point of view, I think that the ml was raised in that way, one of the only time the ml disobey is when he chose the fl with a big consequence that only he suffered,, I think he chose her because he loves her , but the fl continue to say that he was the best choice and that word can confuse .and in that era man believed that women have the duty to take care of the children when a man goes to work and I think in this 2021 there are people who think so with there mentality, when her sister tells her that she was fortunate I think he means that she has a man who does everything for him and have a child without a problem and without the responsibility of a princess , I reaper as I see the ml is not perfect but he care, she has everything but not love and I think the ml has to refrain his self because he didn't understand the fl feeling. the big problem is that both of them are expecting something from each other
I sympathize with both but I’m not excusing either. Excusing means that it’s justified, that it’s OK she did that to her kid. It’s not ok, it’s UNDERSTANDABLE cause she was depressed but it’s not OK. That’s it, that’s all I’m trying to say. Like I said the mom has her reasons for acting the way she did towards her son but it is not excused, and same goes for the dad. I was “defending” him cause everyone wanted to point fingers at him while not acknowledging that the wife was also at fault so I can see how my og post looked biased. The husbands only involvement with his kid is his education while the mother is supposed to nurture/raise him. Yeah that’s “normal” here but did I say that was an excuse? No. He had a bunch of shit to deal with too and cause of that he ended up neglecting his wife. Is that excused? No but it’s understandable why that happened same with the wife and her depression. Yeah they were both shit parents anyone with eyes can see that but you can’t solely blame one or excuse certain behavior.
yeah see your post did come across to me that way esp since you started it off defending the father and telling others how he’s like that only bc he was raised that way, only to end it with putting pressure on the mother even tho she’s also only a victim of her circumstances. you even called out the people who were defending her.
i feel like if you worded your post in the way that you did in this reply, i would’ve agreed since they’re both really at fault for neglecting their child.
Idk if y’all forgot but mental health doesn’t exist in this “time period”. A woman’s sole responsibility is to get married and produce an heir and raise them. Y’all actin like they know wtf post pregnancy depression is or depression AT ALL. Stop hating on the husband of doin what he was raised to do. He went to war cause the king ordered it, not cause he wanted to. And he comes back to his relative trying take over his fief and to his father dead. His wife also hates their kid, and now he’s dealing with the royals scandals left and right that deal with his wife’s family. He did suggest his wife take time off for herself, hence the vacation to the south.
Some of y’all defending the wife to hell and back too but real talk if your mom hated you and blamed you ruining her life you’d feel some type of way too. Even if you knew she got depression after pregnancy you wouldn’t be able to forgive them like nothing happened. Stop acting like depression or trauma is an excuse to act a certain way, it don’t work like that. Her feelings and depression are VALID but her actions towards her kid is NOT. I’m all for her getting a redemption and a second chance but is it because she feels guilty and wants to make herself feel better after treating her son like shit or is it cause she genuinely cares for her kid? There’s a big difference.