Fellow Fujoshians!

I am not ashamed of it, but I don't talk about it unless I know people share my interest. My friends and family know I read manga and watch anime, and some think it is funny, but they know I will tease them back about whatever it is they like if they make comments.

I'm not ashamed. I don't care, I too watch anime, read manga. I guess Im lucky in that they know my tastes.(family, friend) they don't judge. I don't judge them. You find people that support the things you care about. I don't write so I guess it can be hard to get that support if you have to hide what you do.

I should clarify that I don't specify yaoi when I tell them I like manga. I will talk about popular main stream stories, and maybe drop hints. If the other person seems to know what seme or uke is, I may ask about a yaoi manga. Most people I know in RL don't really know what yaoi is (or even slash or MM romance), though I have tried to explain it to a few people. Mostly, they didn't understand when I was into vampires or steampunk or any number of stories I liked, and they don't really get this either. It's still cool though. I don't understand why people like hockey, or techno music, or any number of things that are perfectly fine for other people to do. To each his or her own.

You pick and chose who you share things with. there are people in my family who know what I read. When don't sit down and chat about it but I don't knock them for liking woodworking programs. They don't see me as strange. It is who tell. you are'n leading a double life if you chose not to share your love of this manga with some one who would not like it or understand your tastes. That is just good manners on your part. That is why I come here to talk about it.

I don't usually share my reading interests with people, but I don't really consider it a double identity. If I have read something really interesting, I might share the reading experience, but only if the other person seems interested in the topic. I find, as well, that people don't ask me what my specific tastes are, or if they do, I tell them that I read a little bit of everything (which I do - I am omnivorous when it comes to reading material) so this issue never really comes up.

I don't think of it as a separate identity, it's that the manga I read is explicit and I don't discuss explicit sexual matters with friends and family. I think it would make them very uncomfortable. I don't want friends or family to discuss whatever porn/erotica they like with me either. I do have one friend who is very prone to oversharing about her sex life and it's so awkward and stops all conversation (and people invite her and her husband out less as a result.) So it's just manners, I think. Most people don't need or want to know that kind of detail, and if someone is interested in finding out they generally make that interest known.

Lol I think that's where we differ, to me - it's fine for main stream to have movies/books like 50 shades or true blood, both crazy sexual and explicit. I'm not saying talk about sex. But my point is, you as a woman saying that you enjoy male on male romance stories is downright crazy, disgusting even to a lot of people. But if you guys don't have those issues then that's great.
I'm glad you guys haven't met any resistance like that… x

Little things I mean by this post are, say - not being able to keep copies of VF or Saezuru for example on your bedroom shelf, for fear of someone reading it. Having several Yaoi windows/material on your computer up when 'oh no!' Someone asks to quickly borrow your computer - and you have to make up an excuse to get ride of them and clear your history. Those are the things I mean by double life…x

Ah but you see that was my point, that it is a (big in some cases) part of you, your kinks, tastes in books, what you do with your time - all of which you talk about with friends (if they are actual friends) but you don't mention yours, they mention theirs and it's usually so boring you want to shoot yourself lol but, I may have miscommunicated... I just sought to get a sense of what other fujoshi's go through, like nights where you are with a group of people you love and SHOULD be able to say this stuff to….wanting to just be like 'fuck it' I LOVE Yaoi, I love watching some hot guy, fuck another right in his asshole. But you can't, so I just wanted to know anyones double identity woes lol. x

Surprisingly there is quite a bit of distaste toward anime and manga too, I have found that a lot with friends and even at work they mention it like it's a bad word, or their crazy aunt that just got sectioned. But yes, Yaoi exclusively, I just wanted to know all those little things that make it hard to be an in the closet fujoshi - like for example, I had VF Vol 7 as my phone wallpaper, it made me happy. But then a friends wanted to borrow my phone - cue the cold sweats. Just things like that which make you feel you have a double identity. x

my best friend and i are both Fujoshi's. her parents know she watches anime and reads manga's, and ever her younger brothers watch anime somtimes, just shoujo for the brothers though. they don't know she watches yaoi but she doesn't have to keep it a secret. I do, when i was twelve, my dad said that i should stop watching disney chanel and nickolodeon because it was for little children and instead watch animal planet or discovery ID. I mentioned anime and manga's once or twice and when i show my dad a video (carameldansen at that point) i got the reaction "when will you stop watching such childish things" so i just stopped talking about it with them. i'm not embarrassed or ashamed that i am a fujoshi but i really have to put up a mask and hide my "fujoshi crazyness" behind a facade.

Ah, well I have no real fear of that. I live on my own and do not share my computer with anyone.But, if someone did find the stuff I read (and my family is not very snoopy) I would not feel the need to make up excuses. I am considered the eccentric liberal in my family. Hehehe

I have had gay friends raise legitimate issues such as why female fantasy would objectify and fetishize male-on-male sex, and why gay and bi men are often shunned by yaoi fans and told the books are not for them. I usually point out that my gay friends objectify males and gay sex quite a lot (though I know it is different when a woman does it). I think it is an issue that we should talk about sometimes and be aware of, but that since it is fiction, it gives people a chance to explore issues that speak to them, even if there may be some unrealistic and potentially harmful stereotypes we should be aware of. I would also try to get people to welcome any bi or gay men or any one has an interest in the genre, while admitting the fantasies often show how some women would like to see men, at least in context of the stories. The truth is, many gay men won't find what they are looking for in yaoi, and yaoi isn't at all a realistic representation of anything (Consider the portrayal of Yakuza or priest in yoai). But they are good stories, with hot, romantic men and no annoying wimpy empty-headed female love interests who exist solely to be the man's lover (though I admit some ukes play that role).

Ultimately, I like it for the story as much as for the sex (well, in some cases there isn't much story, but it is funny). So I think there are things to discuss with people who are willing, but most people won't even know what kinds of stories you are talking about, so there isn't much point in talking unless you know someone is interested.

Since I'm an independent adult, I don't hide anything. My BL manga is all over the place and people in my private life chuckle over my interest in "gay manga". I don't discuss it with anybody just like I don't discuss my interest in perfume, because many people just aren't interested. I go to the internet to discuss with others who are interested. I had the picture of Akihito and Asami in back of the limo with champagne as my work computer wall paper, but I took it down because I don't want the IT people fixing my computer to be uncomfortable. We've come a long way, but some straight males are still uncomfortable with gay love and it is the work place, not home. Yes it is a double standard because a shoujo equivalent would not make anybody uncomfortable.

At home, I do what I like and my wallpaper is Akihito and Asami and I don't care who sees it. I also read BL on public transportation but I try to be discreet around kids and elderly. I also read fanfiction and enjoy that too.

Just as an aside, I find that Viewfinder fans are very intelligent and have stimulating discussions. Not saying other fans are not as smart, but there are many boards where most of the comments are about how hot somebody is. VF readers dive deep and sometimes disagree, but we all love VF.

I see what you're saying but no one I know talks about FSOG or True Blood either, so I think not talking about erotica use is part of a more general taboo here. People talk about fsog and tb disparagingly (badly written, poorly plotted). I'm sure some of the people I know really like them, but they woukldn't say. Women talking about enjoying m/m is taboo, but men talking about liking f/f or whatever other type of erotica would also be taboo and I wouldn't expect people to have erotic screen saver of any kind, for example.

I think yaoi is seen the same as slash fanfic, n

I dont have anyone in my life who knows that i read manga and yaoi. I do have 50sog in my bookshelf but i know that if i would tell people that hey i read manga and yaoi, it would create uncomfortable situations and i dont want that. People can be really closeminded and talk shit all the time.
I have friends that know that i read manga when we were kids and its like a joke that ''hey remember when u were a crazy manga fan'', and im like ''yea, those times''. And when i go home i read the new chapter of bleach.

I just dont want them to treat me differently or ask me like why do you read it and stuff. I go drinking with them and can talk openly about sex and stuff, but i could never tell them about this xd

It doesnt really bother me though cus everyone has things that they wanna keep to themselves so, this is just mine
And incognito-pages and deleting history is very familiar to me XD

I do genuinely think that they are the ones missing out ٩(๑❛ᴗ❛๑)۶ which is why I just find it interesting that so many people think they are open minded when they are really not, it's like you want to tell them to stop talking shit lol and in a way, I would love to test my friends and be like 'hell yeah, 2D gay bum sex rules!' Just to see their little closed off minds freak out.


Also, I am an out and proud Anime/Manga fan and yes ppl are definitely weird about it for some reason - couldn't care less but my friends do see it as childish etc, but I think their boring ass tastes in life are weird too so we're good. Thanks! x

I understand what you mean. For me, I don't think of it as a double identity but as a part of me that I can't reveal to everyone. And sometimes, it bothers me. I live alone so I generally don't have to hide my books but when someone makes me an unexpected visit (it depends who it is), I sometimes worry and hope they won't see the BL books that I'm reading and which can be on the table or on the sofa.

My family knows and my ex-boyfriend knew as well. However, my friends aren't aware of my readings. My family is open-minded and thinks that I can read what I want so it's not a problem with them. I even lend my books to my sister who also likes reading BL, but she's not as "fan of yaoi" that I am. So, we don't talk much about it.

I don't particularly hide the fact that I like BL, and I'm not ashamed of it but I'm not comfortable in certain circumstances. I know there're prejudices against BL and I wouldn't like, for example, that one of my coworkers see me buy a BL manga. That's why, I buy my books via Internet. But this morning, for the first time of my life, as I was wandering in a big book store which belongs to the supermarket that I'm used to go (so do some of my coworkers), I saw the tankoubon of Junjou Romantica which was recently released here, in France. I hadn't bought it yet and was planning to do it on Internet. It was the only BL books of the store.^^ And I bought it. Small victory!^^ I can tell you that I was not at ease and I hid it with another book that I wanted to buy but I was really happy to have taken it in the store.

It can sound ridiculous, but for me it was like a way to say: I can read what I want, I love reading yaoi and BL aren't shameful! But I still have some work to do on myself because I wasn't totally comfortable buying it there and that fact also bothers me.^^

I think that we are lucky to have the possibility to talk on Internet about BL with other people who share our tastes. And I'm glad we can tell our opinions without judgment and to be understood.