Also I don’t want anyone to get discouraged from reading this because this is actually a good story. The art is amazing, the characters are relatable, and there’s a lot of sweet moments. My only hope is that the author will not passively ignore the problems of neglect and trauma the child may have faced and brush the long years of sadness and loneliness off and have an easy forgiveness. These kind of relationships take years to mend back and I’m hoping it won’t just happen in the span of several weeks or months.
I understand your situation because my sister is doing this to her two children. Me and my mother are taking care of them, honestly im annoyed that she acts this way, shes alway find a man and making mistake. now she has a another child coming. I honestly feel sad for my nephews to have such a bad mother. I hate the fact that she sometimes suddenly acts like she care for them and then leave them again and again. She had 3 child from 3 different men, and when we tell her the truth, she says that we arent experience enough to know what's she's going through. For me just looking at her right now it tells me that love is shit. Love is so blinding it to the point where you'll abandoned you own child. Truthfully i resent my sister, my childhood was ruin by her. She wasn't home taking care of her babies, she was out partying and having fun. While i was 9 or 10 i was helping my mother care for my nephews. This has lead me to depression. Now that she's having another child I aint helping anymore.
I mean, I don’t think this manhwa is neglecting it? They’re legit talking about it right now. She’s working hard to become a better mother and make their relationship more stable. However, that just coincided with her son’s marriage. The only reason she objects to it so much is because not many people will be happy in an arranged marriage. She can’t say much about hers since she end up happy, but that was also cause she didn’t have a choice to get married. So, when her son, who she wants to reconnect with, goes through the same thing as her, she knows what it feels like best to have an arranged marriage and she doesn’t want her son to feel like that. Unlike her, he doesn’t need to get engaged immediately. Not to mention, the girl he’s being arranged with has a bunch of bad rumors about her(being spoiled and stuff)
Although she acted like she did in the past, she is still trying to make up for it, and unlike your sister, she’s gonna keep trying in my opinion. She finally realized what she treasured the most when she died and she wants to be able to redo her life before she dies while hopefully healing all the wounds she had caused. It’s not a sudden change in personality with a, “I was scummy but since I’m better now, you should like me,” she is trying to reconnect and right the wrongs she made. Even if it’s late, she’s trying to make an effort.
It’s just that her efforts coincided with his arranged marriage, which is a sore spot for her. She doesn’t want her son to go through the same pains as her, even if she did end up happy in the end with her husband.
I think the same way too.
And we can't forget about political reasons too. She wants her son to marry some he likes and someone from politically neutral family. So that when one side wins Vincente doesn't get hurt or lose his position in court later because of his wife's family's side lost. Harsen's family is politically neutral. But because he married her, people think that he chose his wife's family's political side. So if her brother somehow lose his power/position it might affect her husband's position and her son in bad way. And it seems like the girl's family Vincente is arranged doesn't belong to her older brother's political group. So her son could face some difficult decision to choose his uncle's side or his father-in-law's side. And she wouldn't want it for Vincente.
We ALL agree with the mother that it’s a bad choice. Like that shouldn’t even be a debate? However, does she need to say that she has the right to be apart of his decision because she’s his “mother” ?
No one is mad that she gave her opinion, people are mad that she feels the right to say that as a mother. It’s the entitlement. And even if she’s making an effort now, it doesn’t mean her actions shouldn’t be ridiculed. Her few weeks of trying vs her 15-18 years of neglect and abuse cannot be just brushed off by drinking tea and shopping with the child. I am def all for redemption, which is why I’m reading this, but it doesn’t come easily. She will be ridiculed for her past actions and current actions but the way people keep reminding that she went through shit (yes she did, I read it too people). I’m not blind or heartless. But to bring out the “not ready for a child” “too much pressure” “she was sad and depressed” excuse to a person who says “18 years of neglect is wrong” is just...Was she not ready for a child for over 18 years? Did she not feel like she should have taken responsibility even after she reached her 30’s? People seem to pity her the most and it’s understandable because it’s telling the story from her perspective, but imagine it from his perspective.
Damn, that’s really tough. I’m sorry for what you had to go through. That’s such a huge burden and responsibility at a young age and they’re not even your children. Your sister should def seek help because this is just child abuse on her part as a parent. She also needs to confront the fathers because they are just as much responsible for their child. You and your mother should not have to burden yourselves with their responsibilities. Focus on healing yourself first and leave it to them to solve their problems because child neglect is a serious crime punishable by years and years of imprisonment. She is seriously lucky to have you and your mother, and I’m sure your nephews won’t forget your efforts. Children bond most to those who make the effort to care for them.
I’m not saying she shouldn’t be ridiculed and as I said before, I think the engagement talk was just extremely bad timing as it happened just as she started trying to reconnect and the topic is a sore subject for her. Some people can also go through depression all their life and it can really ruin their relationships with others. I think that’s the main reason she didn’t realize what she had done wrong for so long. I don’t think what she did should be completely forgotten since that’s not how that works, I was just saying that she is trying with good intentions, but just with the worst timing. Tbh, I’m not the type of person that’s like, “no mother can hate her own child! All children should be with their mothers!” Cause that’s dumb and my mom was an evil woman that I don’t talk to anymore. However, that’s because I know that her attempts at reconnecting were all for her own personal gain and that she was truly an evil woman at heart. Anyway, maybe rather than a mother, she’s entitled to voice her opinions as someone who had gone through an arranged marriage and knows about arranged marriages. Not to mention, she knows what kind of girl he’s being engaged to. Which her husband didn’t seem to check, and maybe that also reminded her of how she was almost forced to be engaged to a guy that she didn’t like the personality of either but her father weighed the political advantage they would get over her wellbeing(she’s a more emotional person than a political savvy one in my opinion). Kind of selfish, but she was still willing to go through with it(until she got the other proposal) and probably doesn’t want the same thing that happened to her to happen to her son(who’s she begun to care about.)
No way am I saying she is completely rid of fault and there’s no way I’m saying she’s mother Mary or should be pitied. I just think that her objection to her son’s arranged marriage is valid in my opinion.
Anyway, I probably can’t convince you since child neglect seems to be a big problem for you(I don’t get triggered by it as much even though I was a neglected/abused child by my mom, and I‘ve decided to move on from it and use it as an experience I can learn from and be happy with my stepdad and sis. That’s why I think I’m a little bit more blunt, sorry...)
Lol ok almost all the responses are directed at me. I’m not saying I never understood her situation. In my country, girls get married at 14 and have kids around 15 so of course I understand that she’s going through tough times. However, 15-18 years is not a short period of time. As someone who has been neglected as a child and raised by anyone besides my own parents, this situation deeply annoyed me. And her immediately waking up one day and start acting as a mother is just —infuriating. She neglected him for 18 years and now she wants to have a say in who he marries? I actually like the female lead and even the male lead, but this sort of action hits home and it’s annoying. I understand that as a person of high status, she had a responsibility to marry into the “best” house and that she was only 15-16 year olds. Of course she wouldn’t be the best mother at that age because her brains not even fully developed and she herself is a CHILD but by the time you’re in your late twenties, she should’ve started caring for him. Imagine YOURSELF being neglected for 15-18 years and your mom comes back to decide on your future because she decided to devote herself to you now. That’s the part I don’t understand. I also wondered if this neglect would’ve continued had she not “died.”
I can’t say anything for the dad and son’s relationship because we’re not given much yet but he also should’ve worked harder to mend their relationship since he was the person who asked for her hand in marriage.