I think we don't understand why she had sex with her ex because we only see a chapter in her life where she's reflecting and looking back on that relationship in the light of how it failed, we only see the strain it put her under and the bad moments, but that's not all there was to it obviously. At some point they were in love and she even said she conditioned herself to think her love was special in the beginning. She was so scared of loosing him and ruining the relationship that she let herself be overlooked for a long time and silenced herself. The bond was strong and she thought she would be with him forever. She probably thought she couldn't ever get over him, but she now realizes she already has, he's out of her mind. Her ex is finally attentive to her, seeking her in a way she wished he had before, but even as they are physically together she doesn't feel the bond anymore, she has changed for good. I know having sex with someone even as you are emotionally involved with someone else is not a pretty way to deal with things and I agree you shouldn't rely on sex too much to make up your mind about relationships. But she, at this point, has cleanly closed the relationship with the younger guy: she didn't lead him on, give mixed messages, left him hoping and hanging on. She was very responsible realizing that he was too compliant and she was not emotionally reliable enough to be careful about it and she ended it. She is free to seek closure however she wants and I actually think the meaning of the chapter was that sex doesn't equate love. She has sex with her ex husband and tangibly sees that nothing ties her to him anymore. On the other hand she also realizes that she is now emotionally tied to the other younger guy and their relationship is more than a substitute for her husband and a comfort to her loneliness. Until she doesn't completely close the wound of her past marriage on her own she can't in good conscience approach the younger guy and actually give him a chance to be more than a rebound.
I think we don't understand why she had sex with her ex because we only see a chapter in her life where she's reflecting and looking back on that relationship in the light of how it failed, we only see the strain it put her under and the bad moments, but that's not all there was to it obviously. At some point they were in love and she even said she conditioned herself to think her love was special in the beginning.
She was so scared of loosing him and ruining the relationship that she let herself be overlooked for a long time and silenced herself. The bond was strong and she thought she would be with him forever.
She probably thought she couldn't ever get over him, but she now realizes she already has, he's out of her mind.
Her ex is finally attentive to her, seeking her in a way she wished he had before, but even as they are physically together she doesn't feel the bond anymore, she has changed for good.
I know having sex with someone even as you are emotionally involved with someone else is not a pretty way to deal with things and I agree you shouldn't rely on sex too much to make up your mind about relationships.
But she, at this point, has cleanly closed the relationship with the younger guy: she didn't lead him on, give mixed messages, left him hoping and hanging on.
She was very responsible realizing that he was too compliant and she was not emotionally reliable enough to be careful about it and she ended it.
She is free to seek closure however she wants and I actually think the meaning of the chapter was that sex doesn't equate love. She has sex with her ex husband and tangibly sees that nothing ties her to him anymore.
On the other hand she also realizes that she is now emotionally tied to the other younger guy and their relationship is more than a substitute for her husband and a comfort to her loneliness.
Until she doesn't completely close the wound of her past marriage on her own she can't in good conscience approach the younger guy and actually give him a chance to be more than a rebound.