I'm more bothered that we only got haruki's intake and monologue about how much he loved and couldn't get over his feelings for akihiko , like did akihiko even love him or did he just felt sorry for him and guilted himself into becoming his lover cause that wasn't clear to me
i think he did love him, but other shit was holding him back before.. i understand why ud think that though as it was kinda abrupt and akihikos feelings for haru werent even really like officially mentioned..
As it’s all been described, Yuki was a person who just radiated light, which pretty much clearly spelled out the influence he would have with people directly in contact and a part of his life. Even more so by the unexpected outcome to the story’s premise, these characters go through real world emotions, emotions which, mind you, cannot and will not ever have a clear cut definition as death is something everyone deals with differently and cannot be easily grasped or understood. But, Yuki was not the kind to die unexpectedly. He was cheery, he lived through his own traumas, so he was mentally, emotionally, and physically strong and supportive, and he protected Mafuyu and his friends through their own struggles. The complete opposite personality to Mafuyu, although he’s only recently started to open up to people, and interact with them and I think what is not properly addressed or given recognition can be inferred thanks to Uenoyama’s presence in his life. He is where he is, not just with the band, but mentally as well, all thanks to his new partner’s influence in his life. A new light, so to speak.
This story happens to be pretty much shounen ai, and for a lot of them, you (the reader) just need to infer the “behind the scenes” romance at times but also include the characters behaviors and it’s been pretty much proven that everyone was painfully aware of the past couple’s relationship, and Mafuyu is openly gay so in terms of the plot, I do not believe homophobia played as big a role as what may be presumed. It was the grief of instant loss and shock that Mafuyu was forced to endure and I am not merely speaking with a lack of experience, I’ve lost a handful of people unexpectedly, and it’s always those who you do not mentally prepare for that you have the hardest time accepting or coming to grips with their passings. There was a close friend that I lost and it took me 2 full years to finally feel capable to grieve her passing, and I felt like a bastard the entire time, not having any words to properly express the fact that I was still here, but she wasn’t and how that affected me. She too played the guitar, was actually extremely talented and had such a weird sense of humor, the most original person I had ever met, who loved to just laugh along with people. I can now say all this, and honor her memory properly, but while it was still fresh in my mind, I was painfully numb to any kind of thought because I couldn’t enjoy the good memories, that I had kept and if I blamed myself for not being there for her when she probably really needed someone. I don’t mean to go all personal on you, but I severely relate to Mafuyu’s numbness and his lack of description until he felt he found the words to describe his grief within his song.
I do agree with the theme that Yuki is “haunting” his friends and Mafuyu and I also agree with the part you mentioned regarding Mafuyu never getting fully over Yuki and Uenoyama now becoming haunted himself, but I feel as though Uenoyama will take a different perspective. One thing he has admitted to the readers is that he is jealous of Yuki’s influence on Mafuyu’s life, past, and decisions but with the help of Yuki’s song, he may also come to terms with the fact he fell for the Mafuyu who will never get over Yuki, the Mafuyu who lived through the trauma of losing someone like Yuki, and the Mafuyu who will still love him and learn from him and chooses to move forward with Uenoyama by his side. If that did happen, Uenoyama would have no choice but be grateful to Yuki.
Now that I’m done ranting on those three, I’m really pissed off with Shizu and will focus on this potential couple cause hell, they need assistance stat.
Yeah I keep thinking and hoping that he really did cause all we got was him telling him in chap 11 how grateful he is for him that he asked him to form a band with him and occasionally subtly flirting with him , which is not at all much which makes me feel Soo mad
I’m sorry, but did y’all miss the part where Akihiko straight up confessed the fact he was trying to better himself so that he could be with Haruki? That’s the most romantic thing anyone could ever say to someone straight up, so much better than an “I love you” with so much deeper meaning.
That's true but I still felt something was missing , im not sure if it's him not getting over ugetsu completely but it was not enough him trying to be a better man for him in my opinion
I do not think we have seen their story enough to determine such a conclusion. The entire process with Utsegu is now over, which I’m glad for, and to be honest, I prefer the method he took as it was the most responsible with the least amount of hysterics. A huge romantic gesture which you may be looking for, is not needed, it adds dramatics and Haruki doesn’t want that type of thing. He needed assurance and to believe in Akihiko, and I think that’s exactly what Akihiko gave Haruki.
Utsegu is the only one still holding on.
Funny how you said is not needed , anyhow that's your point of view
Ok, correction on my part, a relationship needs romance, don’t get me wrong, but I meant to prove himself to Haruki that he’s taking this all seriously and reproaching having changed himself for the better, basically winning him over, unlike an over the top grand gesture that merely effects the here and now, was the better option. I feel as though the other would have been taken as extremely superficial, hence I said it was not needed, and yes that is my opinion.
I get it now , i think I didn't really understand what you meant before but yeah I guess if we had more chapters about them we might have seen akihiko doing more for haruki
It seems like a lot of people are unhappy about how much Yuki is intertwined/involved in the story and to be honest I don't know how I feel about it. Someone in the comments mentioned that Yuki is "haunting" the story, which is a fair and accurate assessment for several reasons imo.
I thought Mafuyu performing A Winter's Song was about him finally being able to express his grief over losing Yuki. Which he was never able to because of society's *ahem* less than savory views on gay relationships. Prior to performing, he was very reserved and both emotionally and mentally blocked from even considering writing a song about what he was feeling--i.e, from thinking about his own emotions on the situation. The anime did a wonderful job in conveying this through the heart wrenching lyrics and the emotion in his voice and animated on his face. While performing this spur of the moment song, he's frustrated and heart broken and confused-- and he's just expressing his grief. I bring up the fact that he most likely felt that he wasn't able to express this loss due to society's homophobia because of (I believe the friend of the girl who told Uenoyama about the rumor that Yuki and Mafuyu were dating) one of the girls saying she was glad she had someone (her boyfriend i believe) next to her whos hand she could hold during the performance. I'm pretty sure this is meant to both be taken literally-- her loved one is physically next to her of course, but she is also *able* to hold his hand in public, unafraid of that this simple act of intimacy could be scorned.
Anyway, I bring this up because I believe that is the way Mafuyu was able to process his grief and let it go. I don't believe he is "over" Yuki, I don't think one can ever really be "over" the loss of someone so close to them. Especially in the manner Yuki was lost. And I believe he is in love with Uenoyama.
Yet, I find it really interesting that Yuki is not physically present at all in the story. And yet he remains so integral to the story. I have no idea if this was the authors intention but it feels as if this is Yuki's story-- and I mean that in a good way. Its interesting reading a story about someone as told through the perspectives of the people they've affected and not through the person themselves.
I think Mafuyu was able to move on, but Higari and Shizu have not gotten that opportunity- and there for that closure- yet. And Uenoyama is now beginning to realize Yuki's influence and how much he meant to Mafuyu. In a sense, he is also becoming "haunted" by Yuki.
Im not sure if Shizu actually does like Higari and is just lashing out at him because he doesn't want to be Yuki's replacement (something Uenoyama is currently struggling with too), or because he genuinely thinks Higari is just confusing his feelings for them. Conversely, I'm not sure if Higari even knows what he feels. Which is fair, he's just a kid in a very confusing circumstance.
I could see this not at all being the authors intention, but I think it would tie into the narratives central theme of music being a powerful medium for emotion and growth if Higari, Shizu, and Uenoyama, were able to perform Yuki's final song and were able to effectively let go of Yuki as well.
All in all, I hope it was the authors intention to have the narrative focus on Yuki and be told through the perspective of the people he's left behind to illustrate the impact and importance people have on each other. And how the loss of a loved one can "haunt" someone well into the future.
I didn't realize how long this was getting and I just kept ranting and wrote a whole ass essay hejrmrkfkekfjeke
Thank you for reading the entirety of this if you do???? Please let me know your thoughts if you'd like to share any!!! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧