Yup, here's a question about love, my child.

Ayu-chan September 27, 2015 10:11 pm

Okay... The topic is that a dude in my class this year asked me to going out with him. Even if my best friend keep trying flirting with me, this guy is the first one that actually asked me that.
Problem : I'm not in love with him. He's a friend for me, so I'm lost.
Even more because my older sister told me to try going out with him even if, as I said, I don't love him...
Isn't it stupid ? I mean, being with someone you don't love for your first time... Isn't it a waste ?
It's not even the first time of the other one.
My sister said that if I don't try one day, I'll end up alone all my life. (/TДT)/
By the way, I'm 13 and I know the guy since... 4 weeks ? Isn't that short to really love someone ?

I'M A BIG POOP WHEN IT COME TO LOVE ! (╯°Д °)╯╧╧
I've no experience and am way too nervous...
Is it really possible, reciproque love ? Like in manga ?
Or am I being stupid again ? ( ̄∇ ̄")
Help this poor lost little kohei that I am, pleeease !

Responses
    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 1:40 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! MOI?

    There is fujoshi everywhere, don't care about age ♡

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 1:42 pm
    You're just 13, you have a long life to search for someone who truly loves you (reciprocal love). It depends on what you're looking for, there's peolple who jus want to have fun at that age so they don't need t... Rosebud

    I know, I don't think about having kids with this dude, omg xD
    It's just that I'm too special for this world (/TДT)/

    Thank you

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 1:45 pm
    I agree with Moi? You're young you have a ton of time before you have to worry about being alone. My advice would just be to stay friends if you don't like him that way. Both of you should give it time. It's al... @Anonymous

    Yeah, the fact that I don't owe him anything... I didn't think about it and it's better this way cause I'm waaay too gentle to deal with this world full of good and bad people.
    Thank you

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 1:48 pm
    Your sister had better be joking, because to older people, the Boyfriend/Girlfriend dynamics at 13 are a bit like those 4-year-olds you sometimes see posing like Lady Gaga or Rhianna. The adult subtext sucks aw... I Thot You Was a Toad

    Wow, wow, wow ... WOW ! xD Stappit right there !
    I'm only 13, he's only 13 too ! If he's thinking about this kind of things then HE'S SICK ! (⊙…⊙ )
    But still thanks for the reply ~

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 1:54 pm
    Ignore your sister's statement. You are still 13, and it really depends on yourself if you want to love that person or not. If you don't like him then don't, there no harm in rejecting him, just don't do it too... Yukiko

    I think that asexual people are the most interesting... they look like pure human being but there's most of the time someting more dark inside. I'd like to meet one, actually.
    And don't worry, I'm too gentle to even think about hurting him. I'll never do that to anyone.
    My real problem may be the fact that I feel like I'm the only one not trying to do everything before being ready to. It's kind of lonely.

    Fujoshi's Power With Ya Forever (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:09 pm
    wow u must b purty if someone asked you out xDokay...1. do you have any1 u like?2. do you feel like you could like the guy who asked u out?i guess you could just hang out with him a little more than usual and s... BloodLust (BL)

    YASS ! A 13 years old Fujoshi, it's like a dream !! ヽ(´▽`)ノ
    But I don't understand the first sentence buuuut... let's reply the questions !

    1. I met a boy before getting in middle school, I was 10 or 11 back then, he had black hair and blue eyes with pale skin (getting poetic there xD). So our first meet was before the "back-class" (?) and this day I was kind of gloomy so I didn't realize shit but then he came talk to me after the first quarter started and then I started blushing and being all nervous.
    But my best friend (I hated her for this) she kind of messed up our relationship and I'll probably never talk to him again... So I'm not sure anymore of my feelings for him, even if I'm still nervous around him.

    2. I think I could. He's funny, gentle and not too stupid (xD). And I'm the kind of girl very shy that could make fake idea if anyone is gentle with me...

    Thanks for the reply gurl (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:13 pm
    If you want to stay good friends I think It'd be better to avoid going out, cause my mom went out with a friend and that didn't work out to well, though love isn't a sure thing, it's not going to happen right a... CrystalAris

    Because of the people around me I'm scared of having no experience for later...
    By the way sorry for you, thanks for the text !
    Hope you're a fujoshi

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:17 pm
    I'd say at 13 don't get into a relationship just to do it. If you really really liked the guy I'd maybe say for for it..but even then I'm not sure. I'd stay single, keep figuring out who you are as a person..... k_brooks13

    I really like that reply.
    It's quite the kind that make you think a lot, like it.
    I agree.
    Thank you a lot, hope you're also a fujoshi (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ !

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:21 pm
    Meh. Don't feel pressured to go out with someone you don't love. You are still young and can take your time, no need to rush things, so keep being friends and who knows, maybe feeling will develop later on, or ... @Anonymous

    Happy to see that here pratically everyone think like that. It's good. Cause in my life, some girl that I know are speeking like 25 years old women.
    It's a little bit scarry for me since that I was in a smaaaall school with 34 purpils when I was younger.
    Thank you for this text

    BloodLust (BL) September 28, 2015 2:23 pm
    YASS ! A 13 years old Fujoshi, it's like a dream !! ヽ(´▽`)ノBut I don't understand the first sentence buuuut... let's reply the questions !1. I met a boy before getting in middle school, I was 10 or 11 ba... Ayu-chan

    BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES AND PALES SKIN
    OMG THATS SOUNDS SO PRETTY
    OMG I WANNA SEE A PERSON WITH BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES

    what i meant in the first question: im unattractive enough to have never been asked out so if uve been asked out then u must be pretty pretty

    if you think you could come to like him in that way, you could try to go out with him i guess.... tell him to start slow? idk xD Ive never been in a relationship xD I probably never will be xD

    i think a lot of people start reading yaoi around 13 yrs of age but most of the ppl here are veterans so theyve been into yaoi for a long time and are no longer 13 yr olds like us

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:28 pm
    Well from I can see, my question is this: if you really didn't like him at all, or didn't want to date him at all, you wouldn't be asking us this here. You are actually considering dating him...If the reason fo... @luvjunko

    Thank you a lot for this answer, it's a really good one, really, really.

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:36 pm
    Tu ne te complique pas la vie..tu es juste honnête avec tes sentiments...lui il t'aime? Ah ah désolée..je crois qu'il confonds les sentiments...il éprouve sûrement une bonne affection pour toi..mais aimer.... Myumyu

    Uwaaaah, c'est tellement vrai Myumyu-senpai !

    Je me dis la même chose, le coup de foudre n'est pas vraiment possible donc il doit confondre un peu tous... et le fait qu'il me demande sans être sûr de lui confirme que les gens prennent ça à la légère... C'est triste, gâcher ses premières fois à cet âge-là, non ?
    On est dans la même classe, on a toute l'année.

    Merci beaucoup

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:37 pm
    You have your whole life ahead of you. Don't rush yourself. ;-) Rei-Rei-Chan!!!

    Yass ! ^^
    Btw you're the last one ~
    Thank you Rei-Rei-Chan

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 2:48 pm
    BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYES AND PALES SKINOMG THATS SOUNDS SO PRETTYOMG I WANNA SEE A PERSON WITH BLACK HAIR AND BLUE EYESwhat i meant in the first question: im unattractive enough to have never been asked out so ... BloodLust (BL)

    HE IS SO DAMN GEORGEOUS...........at least from my eyes.
    I dare told my best friend and she was like "Him ? U serious, bruh ? That dude ? No way ! And he's stupid, and short, and so stupid, and....." -__-

    People were sooo mean to me when I was younger so now I don't even know if I'm pretty or not... even my family and told me that I was ugly and fat (Yes, I was fat before). Now I'm better looking but I can't say to myself that I'm pretty, I'm depressed and introverted.
    But very open minded and way too gentle cause I don't ever wanna see people with the same pain as me.
    I'm even too gentle to be with the kind of people with who I am. That's why I have problem right now with my best friend...

    Yaoi are heart warming to me.

    BloodLust (BL) September 28, 2015 3:03 pm
    HE IS SO DAMN GEORGEOUS...........at least from my eyes.I dare told my best friend and she was like "Him ? U serious, bruh ? That dude ? No way ! And he's stupid, and short, and so stupid, and....." -__-People ... Ayu-chan

    Hmmmm I grew up in a very friendly environment.... but I still has no friend -.-
    and because i no have friend, there's no one there to judge me
    -.-
    I'm depressed and introverted as well :D I don't leave the house except for going to school and I don't talk to anyone in school. I'm also timid af around people -.-
    I has no best friend TT_TT
    Oh ya I identify as "genderfluid" so.. like... sometimes im girly... sometimes im boyish.... my appearance in general is that of a guy's so it all depends on the clothing..... I has no friends because im too timid to hang out with guys and im not used to chatting with girls -.- im also a new kid at school -.-
    yaoi is life

    o right theres this guy in my class who has black hair and hes asian but its slightly curly so it's like hair from manga and anime :D and his face is cute too :3 .... and his voice is rly deep for a 14 yr old -.- but hes rly cute <3 wait i forgot what i was trying to say here

    I Thot You Was a Toad September 28, 2015 5:52 pm
    Wow, wow, wow ... WOW ! xD Stappit right there !I'm only 13, he's only 13 too ! If he's thinking about this kind of things then HE'S SICK ! (⊙…⊙ )But still thanks for the reply ~ Ayu-chan

    Wow, wow, wow ... what did you think a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is about? Why does this person want to put some sort of exclusive hold on you? Of course, 13 is way too young for that! If he's hit puberty, though, there's a good chance he's thinking about it. As to whether he actually plans on doing anything about it, that's another matter, but what did you think is the point of having a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship?

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 5:59 pm
    Wow, wow, wow ... what did you think a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship is about? Why does this person want to put some sort of exclusive hold on you? Of course, 13 is way too young for that! If he's hit puber... I Thot You Was a Toad

    At our age, some people think that they'll look more mature, more popular, more cool,... with a gf/bf.
    It's not a solution, I don't understand them for that.
    This kind of relationship have to be mutual and natural without outsiders trying to messed up everything.
    But you know, they'll be always outsiders, can't do anything about it. If my best friend didn't do anything "that day" I would be going out with a boy that I'm sure would like me pretty much like I'd like him buuut, it just didn't happened. That's how it is. (Getting out of subject, sorry)

    I Thot You Was a Toad September 28, 2015 6:13 pm
    At our age, some people think that they'll look more mature, more popular, more cool,... with a gf/bf.It's not a solution, I don't understand them for that.This kind of relationship have to be mutual and natura... Ayu-chan

    Okay, but there's the difference: a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship without sex is just a friendship, and that's what you've already got. So, there is no reason to change that unless he wants to switch it up a notch to something more intimate, in which case you would have to decide if that's what you're ready for. Since you don't feel that way about him, I should say not.

    But let's switch this scenario over to when you're a little older. How much older, I don't know, but it will be a time when you are ready to bear the consequences of your decisions, even if those consequences are catastrophic. (That's the real division line between childhood and adulthood, where you imagine the worst of all possible outcomes and decide that, if that is the result, you will carry the full responsibility for it.) There are far worse things than having sex with a boyfriend who started out as just a friend. Friendship is actually the most important thing, because it means you've already established mutual affection, respect and honesty. That's much better than sex with a stranger, no matter how hot, handsome, cute or popular he is.

    Ayu-chan September 28, 2015 7:08 pm
    Okay, but there's the difference: a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship without sex is just a friendship, and that's what you've already got. So, there is no reason to change that unless he wants to switch it up ... I Thot You Was a Toad

    I know, I'll never broke a friendship to a stupid sexual realtion, not now at least. At our age, a boyfriend is just like a best friend, with little kiss and holding hands, maybe sometimes a "I love you" not this honnest...
    It's not about looking for a guy and only being attired by the thing he have down there. It's sexfriend, I'm not looking for this at all. I don't even think of it later, but well.
    Destiny will decide.

    I Thot You Was a Toad September 28, 2015 7:27 pm
    I know, I'll never broke a friendship to a stupid sexual realtion, not now at least. At our age, a boyfriend is just like a best friend, with little kiss and holding hands, maybe sometimes a "I love you" not th... Ayu-chan

    Hopefully, YOU — and not just destiny — will decide. Young women have a lot of sexual power, even young girls. Grown men are attracted to them, even horrible, predatory men. So young women end up receiving a lot of pressure to have sex, just as the urges in their own bodies start to heat up (and, unfortunately, often in directly inverse relationship to their experience and wisdom.) So your own desires and curiosity will come into play at some point. My wish for you is the same wish I have for my own daughter: that your first experience is pleasant, not painful; that you are emotionally cherished by your partner(s) whoever they may be; that you are not pressured to take on risks that outweigh your capacity to bear (for example, pregnancy, STDs, rape, violations of privacy); that you come away from your experience feeling stronger and more self-assured. All the best to you.