hmm, I'd say I've had those thoughts but never attempted. I did have a friend who tried and I can tell you that I've never felt more scared in my life when I was told what they had tried to do. I don't know you personally, but I can tell you that someone out there cares about you. If you cannot think of anyone who cares, then just know I do. Even if i'm just someone on the internet to you, just know that someone out there cares. I obviously don't understand how it feels to go through what you are going through, but the one thing my friend did tell me was that she felt like nobody cared.
I've tried multiple times but haven't found the right way or way that satisfies me. I also stopped myself bc I just know if I kill myself rn my moms gonna treat my brother like shit. I want him to grow up with a happy childhood. P.S. Don't tell me to get hElP bc 1. i cant my mom won't let me and 2.therapist give me anxiety, this is a question I'm glad to help ppl with their thoughts <333