I just wanted to tell u guys what i feel and i feel like a was a manhwa character

Otaku_UwU<••> December 18, 2020 1:51 pm

U know im just gonna tell u guys how i feel cuz i cant tell anyone about
Im so lonely, i had my dreams, i dream to be a great writer or a manga artist, i dream to go to japan with my only friend but now were apart shes at u.s. now
I feel lonely not because i dont have alots of friends but im lonely cuz i feel like im invisible that no one can see my worth
Only my only friend understand what i feel
My parent and grandparents only love my cousin which is the son of the sister of my mom
He is way better than me, he smart but he is still childish even tho he is already 20
He became gay because of his adviser which is really gay and then when i feel like something went of that the way they look to each other is different , i tell my mom and grandma about it but they have a blind spot because of the fake smiles and kindness of the teach
And then whem the vacation comes this pandemic
All of the truth came out that they have secret relationship and they didnt believe me
You know why i tell them, because i dont want my cousin to get hurt because i love him as my brother
And then that gey teach just dump him and play hard to get and still his crying infront of me and asking why mee!!
If only they believe me, if only they hear me out
And now they are calling me to take all the stress of him because what if he commit suicide
But how about me? Do they even notice me
Do they think what if i die because of stress they throwing me
I wanna die from jumping to a tall building but i have my dreams how ....
When my dad tell us that hes going to go to japan
I was happy and sad at the same time you know why?
I felt sad because he will leave us and im happy because i can go their too but....
My mom make a drama she say to me" what you really going to leave me too, arent you thinking what will i feel, i will feel lonely, your just want your own happiness" but im only gonna stay their for 2 months and wutt lonely really what about me i also feel lonely and such a dumb person who dont know anything i feel small whenever im with my cousin and they even compair me to him even my granparents in my father side dont even want me because of those new child of the sisters of my dad sigh

Responses
    Rosette December 18, 2020 2:08 pm

    Hi! Even though this is like a manhwa plot, this is really a tough life you're in. Even though we don't know each other and you might be living on the opposite side of the planet, I just wanna say you matter, your feelings matter, your dreams matter, your happiness matter.
    I want to say talk to your mother about your feelings but I probably know it's hard to express yourself especially if they already fix their mind into something else, but there's nothing wrong into trying right? My teacher once said "If you don't ask, the answer will always be no" So go for it and give it a try. This is your dream we're talking about, and a dream is something once really want. I'm gonna cheer on you here on the opposite side of the planet!!!

    Ps. You might feel lonely but trust me you're not alone.

    ZuraJanai December 18, 2020 2:21 pm

    I sorta also had a shitty family so I sorta get where youre coming from. Id say to stop putting so much value in blood ties if it's clearly not worth it and form meaningful relationships outside of family. Ive gotten to the point where I dont feel much attachment to my parents and I don't really care if they do or never acknowledge me for my worth. That's something you have to know and acknowledge yourself and be around people who genuinely do as well. I think blood ties mean nothing. Forming true meaningful relationships is what's important, that could be from family, but it also doesn't have to be

    Otaku_UwU<••> December 19, 2020 12:28 am
    Hi! Even though this is like a manhwa plot, this is really a tough life you're in. Even though we don't know each other and you might be living on the opposite side of the planet, I just wanna say you matter, y... Rosette

    Thank u your such an amazing person
    Such a positive person
    But i try it once before when i get bullied
    I tell her the truth about what i feel and she understand me i guess but why did she do it again?
    But thanks for your advise i wish u have a good luck

    Otaku_UwU<••> December 19, 2020 12:32 am
    I sorta also had a shitty family so I sorta get where youre coming from. Id say to stop putting so much value in blood ties if it's clearly not worth it and form meaningful relationships outside of family. Ive ... ZuraJanai

    Thanks for that but if i do what u say my parents and my grand parents will just tell me that
    Didnt you love your family, dont you even care to him how can you pretend that you dont know things huh
    But what about me did theh realize it?

    ZuraJanai December 19, 2020 6:06 am
    Thanks for that but if i do what u say my parents and my grand parents will just tell me that Didnt you love your family, dont you even care to him how can you pretend that you dont know things huhBut what abou... Otaku_UwU<••>

    I didn't know exactly what it's like for you but eventually I just stopped caring about what they thought. Their words used to enrage me to a point that definitely wasn't healthy and I probably still have some lingering trauma left, but it's important to cut out the toxicity from your life as soon as possible, even if it's family. It was really suffocating in the house so my goal was basically to be independent as soon as I could so that I could move out. Worked my butt off with 2 part time jobs in highschool so that when college came I could move out. Honestly "family love" means next to nothing to me lmao but everyone's circumstances are different, so it's up to you if you want to try and mend your relationship with them or just cut them out. At some point though, I think the effort is just not worth it.

    Otaku_UwU<••> December 19, 2020 8:22 am
    I didn't know exactly what it's like for you but eventually I just stopped caring about what they thought. Their words used to enrage me to a point that definitely wasn't healthy and I probably still have some ... ZuraJanai

    Yeah
    Im also traumatized
    In my family and jn school because they bullying me because my mom tell me she knows the best for me and then what happen....i just bullied
    They ruin me