Well yes, Haru is a bit of a Pedo, but he's a Pedo with high moral fiber (snort- what can I say it's Yaoi, not exactly the type of stuff you read to learn meaningful life lessons or ethics yeah). It's a work of fiction, and as such both the characters love each other, but Haru is filled with guilt because of him being old and Ren's guardian and everything, and he believes that Ren's feelings aren't really love, but some kind of like extreme attachment because of his messed up childhood. This is why Haru won't go all the way with him because he thinks Ren should grow out of these feelings someday and live a normal life. Although apparently fooling around is ok because Haru is also a bit of an idiot and weak to temptation. Ren however, is completely in love with Haru, but he's also scared of him because he's had a rough childhood and learned he can't trust people (his own mother possibly having sold him for drugs and all). Plus Haru comes across as a player because of his personality and former career as a host. Ren feels very insecure and afraid of losing Haru and wants to "seal the deal", aka have sex as soon as possible in order to make Haru his forever. Thus the book really is sort of stuck in an endless loop of Ren trying to seduce Haru and Haru trying to hold himself back and placating him with a few kisses and some "other stuff". I really wanna see how the author pulls these characters out of this rut and gets them to make some progress already...
So you're either great at analyzing or read farther than I did lol because for the life of me I couldn't figure out the feelings that they both had at that moment where I left off which was i think ch. 8 (maybe). I don't know it was just much for me I guess and reeeallly wanted to get over the age difference and their situation but I couldn't help thinking about it. Welp I hope it turns out the way you want maybe i'll check back later and try again =]
Yea hive just read farther. There's a conversation between Haru and someone else about Ren where Haru's feelings are revealed. It's pretty far into the series. And after Ren tries to sleep with someone else in order to convince Haru he's old enough for sex, Haru and Ren have a chat where Ren admits that he's in a hurry to have sex because he wants Haru to belong to him. I had to read the series more than once because all of the explanations are toward the end and nothing in the beginning makes sense without them. I stuck with this series by pretending in my head that aren't is like 17or18 and Haru is like 22, lol. I don't like the large age gaps either.
ahhh I see..i thank you for the clarification and lol I thought I was the only one who does that with some stories sometimes hahaha
about halfway through I got so confused about what kinds of feelings they both have for each other..after a while I came to the conclusion that Haru is a pedo and I can't get with it (i tried though..really)..it's too bad cause I think the story in a lot of parts was really cute..oh well on to the next