This was beautiful!! :)
Thank you!! I have a newfound fondness for Haesoo
You're welcome!! I used to be frustrated with him, but I understand him better. This is a complex story with flawed characters. They deserve happiness! :D
They really do. I always loved Joowon but recently I’ve come to appreciate Haesoo more and I realize that they’ve both been so lonely trying to hold on to the fragile relationship between each other and their family. I can’t imagine how that feels. I’m glad that they’ve been able to come to a place of acceptance. Also I miss them fucking, Haesoo xTaku sex was kinda dry to me hahah
this was one of the best analysis of haesoo's character i've ever read!
I know right?? They both love each other, but so much came between them and their feelings. I'm glad (I really hope) it's not too late for them!
I actually skipped all the Taku x Haesoo sex scenes, but I for sure am excited to see Joowon and Haesoo back together and being more open with each other!!
Thank you!! Haesoo has a really off-putting personality and it really polarizes readers. Either you hate him or you victimize him. It took me a minute to realize he’s just a man with so much resentment, fear and repressed emotions. He’s fragile and terrified of being hurt again by Joowon ( abandonment issues from his parents divorce as well) but he’s also resilient and able to stand up for himself. I like him a little more these days.
Thank you for helping me connect the story together.
Thank you for reading!
Beautiful comments. You've put everything into words perfectly. Thank you.
A lot of people don’t talk about this a lot because the story doesn’t highlight, but can we take a second to think about the fact that Haesoo has been in love with the same guy for a majority of his adolescence and adulthood? The connection between him and Joowon goes so deep. Haesoo is utterly transfixed by Joowon but since Haesoo has a prickly personality, as he doesn’t like looking weak, people overlook it.
Joowon was literally everything to him. They opened so many doors together and Haesoo was extremely influenced by Joowon’s presence and words. He did things just to get a rise out of Joowon because he so badly wanted Joowon’s attention. He took a very toxic approach just to have Joowon’s eyes on him, by smoking with other guys in HS and making Joowon jealous, which developed into adult Haesoo sleeping around to fill the empty space Joowon would leave behind.
If it wasn’t for Joowon’s encouragement, he would have never pursued his writing career. Joowon is really a Hyung( social status wise, not sibling wise) that he really looks up to and cares for. He admires Joowon’s seemingly high self esteem and straightforward approach towards his goals and dreams.
And whenever Joowon calls him, Haesoo always appears no matter what type of attitude he puts on, he’s always there for Joowon. He won’t admit it but he wants to be around Joowon too.
I think Haesoo struggles a lot because he has low self worth and an inferiority complex. On one hand he loves Joowon a lot and has been influenced by him for a significant portion of his life, but he doesn’t want Joowon to know just how much power he has over Haesoo. Haesoo himself can’t reconcile why he holds Joowon so high, why he would let someone have so much power over him and his emotions. So much so that in 10 years he has been unable to maintain any functioning romantic relationship because he’s so in love with Joowon.
He masks and alleviates the anxiety by lashing out at Joowon, putting him down at times and generally wanting himself and Joowon to believe that Haesoo doesn’t feel as a strongly as he does. That he’s not trapped in this and unwilling to truly let go. That he doesn’t want someone “better” that he just wants a Joowon who isn’t afraid to admit that he loves Haesoo as much as Haesoo loves him. That Joowon fell for Haesoo just as hard and deep as Haesoo fell for him.