I just realized there was a novel for this and there were some parts that were not include...

I just realized there was a novel for this and there were some parts that were not included at the end.
SPOILERS:





Trash ML has a clock-work life now, he goes to work and then stays at home and takes care of a dog he got. He eventually receives a man from a business partner that is very similar to Zhishu through the process of surgery. Trash ML gets angry at the fact they're trying to replace Zhishu and says he's not dead. With this, he becomes self-harming himself and wants to use drugs. He admits to his secretary that this is his only way of seeing Zhishu, for he no longer appears in dreams. Trash ML also gives the company to Secretary because it was never his company (it was Zhishu's). Trash ML starts to ask his ex-secretary why people didn't stop or reprimand him for being an abusive, cheating piece of shit. However, ML does admit it's his fault and shouldn't try to share the guilt after asking that question. Trash ML starts writing letters to Zhishu so he doesn't feel alone. Trash ML eventually after four years of repenting (same # as Zhishu suffered). I'm not entirely sure about this but it kinda seems like he suicided?

Here's the ending of the extra: He decided to wait another four years, to feel four years of pain and yearning Zhishu he once had, to make atonement. 'And then? And then I will go find you, hell or high water, I will never let you go again.'