As someone who has gone through abuse, I completely understand the uke. The uke was being hard on himself, blaming himself for everything, doing things that he didn’t really want to do but felt as if he needed to in order to be this thing he made himself out to be. Not gonna lie, at multiple times while reading this manga, my heart and body ached so bad. This manga truly made me feel the pain of misunderstood love. the seme was stubborn because he was in love, and you know what, maybe it’s unrealistic, but I sure as hell love the idea of it. Love so deep and passionate that the other’s insecurities can’t drive you away. The uke was insecure about himself, but he wasn’t dependent. The seme loved the uke no matter what but he wasn’t stupid as if to let himself be used. I feel that the balance was perfect between the two, and I really admire the pacing and growth of these characters throughout the 12 chapters.
I was also pleasantly surprised with the ex (the abuser) even healing from his own wounds and owning up to his mistakes. (And I’ve always hated the idea of abusers healing, thinking of my own abuser, because it makes them seem as a better person, but I didn’t feel that way at all here. It felt natural and healthy.) That’s something very rare that you see in bl. I thought it was well done.
As for the seme being cold to the woman, I understand from his point of view. But I also think he was too unsympathetic for it to be cold. He was insensitive and he was wrong, but he is also not some wise man who was giving them advice because he wanted to. He never claimed to be an expert, though he certainly acted like it. Victim blaming is always wrong no matter the circumstance. Nothing will ever excuse you for laying your hands on someone. You don’t like how she acted, divorce her! Leave her! Tell her that you don’t like what she did! Hitting someone will never ever be the answer. But at the same time this woman also felt guilty (by stating that she went out for diners when asked if she did anything that could’ve been misunderstood), just as the uke did, probably thinking she deserved to be hit. It’s this mindset that victims often develop after a long period of abuse; they get used to it and the abuser’s gaslighting works, they feel guilty. It’s not her fault, under no circumstances, but I understand how the seme could’ve gotten confused.
Anyway it’s 5 am, I need sleep, I did not intend to write this much about a bl, but here we are. If you read this far down, let me know your opinions :)
As someone who has gone through abuse, I completely understand the uke. The uke was being hard on himself, blaming himself for everything, doing things that he didn’t really want to do but felt as if he needed to in order to be this thing he made himself out to be. Not gonna lie, at multiple times while reading this manga, my heart and body ached so bad. This manga truly made me feel the pain of misunderstood love. the seme was stubborn because he was in love, and you know what, maybe it’s unrealistic, but I sure as hell love the idea of it. Love so deep and passionate that the other’s insecurities can’t drive you away. The uke was insecure about himself, but he wasn’t dependent. The seme loved the uke no matter what but he wasn’t stupid as if to let himself be used. I feel that the balance was perfect between the two, and I really admire the pacing and growth of these characters throughout the 12 chapters.
I was also pleasantly surprised with the ex (the abuser) even healing from his own wounds and owning up to his mistakes. (And I’ve always hated the idea of abusers healing, thinking of my own abuser, because it makes them seem as a better person, but I didn’t feel that way at all here. It felt natural and healthy.) That’s something very rare that you see in bl. I thought it was well done.
As for the seme being cold to the woman, I understand from his point of view. But I also think he was too unsympathetic for it to be cold. He was insensitive and he was wrong, but he is also not some wise man who was giving them advice because he wanted to. He never claimed to be an expert, though he certainly acted like it. Victim blaming is always wrong no matter the circumstance. Nothing will ever excuse you for laying your hands on someone. You don’t like how she acted, divorce her! Leave her! Tell her that you don’t like what she did! Hitting someone will never ever be the answer. But at the same time this woman also felt guilty (by stating that she went out for diners when asked if she did anything that could’ve been misunderstood), just as the uke did, probably thinking she deserved to be hit. It’s this mindset that victims often develop after a long period of abuse; they get used to it and the abuser’s gaslighting works, they feel guilty. It’s not her fault, under no circumstances, but I understand how the seme could’ve gotten confused.
Anyway it’s 5 am, I need sleep, I did not intend to write this much about a bl, but here we are. If you read this far down, let me know your opinions :)