As you should. BL makes toxic behavior the basis of romance. Worse the romance genre in general does it overall and it’s honestly gross. But god forbid you advocate for healthier portrayals of romantic relationships and people lose their shit that vanilla relationships are boring. Then they wonder why the number of domestic violence and abuse has never lowered because we are thought to love it from all points of our entertainment.
Thank you omg! I was kinda worried I was just being shallow, but then I realized I needed to take a step back and see how a lot of BL relationships wouldn’t work irl! I get the enemies to lovers trope, but when someone is just an outright jerk I’m not cool. Like if you can’t trust them to treat you right at the beginning, how can you trust them to respect you & your boundaries during the relationship? LMAO i think I’m overreacting I know this isn’t that big of a deal it just annoys me
Yes thank you! It might be because I’ve been reading yaoi for so long but tbh I’m just kinda done with the asshole seme plotline. I don’t care why he’s like that really. I hate how the ukes are alwaysss pressured into doing things and have to deal with spoiled overgrown brats, only to eventually fall for him because the seme brought them a lukewarm coffee once. Like get a man who respects and values you, not one who takes advantage of you. Sorry for the rant lol
Honestly. When I first started reading I was like “Omg he’s just so in love he just wants attention” but now that I’ve kinda grown up I can just see it leading to a toxic relationship. Like irl you have to learn to take no for an answer, and ik it’s romanticized here to be persistent but imagine someone treating you like that fr. Ugh
FORREALLLL. It’s why I get so excited whenever I see a uke with a backbone. Or even when they get one (like DG in Bj Alex, he was my KING when he recognized his boundaries and limitations). Honestly I basically worship Megumi & Tsugumi, I usually avoid ABOs (holyyyyy shit don’t get me started on that) but they have such a healthy, consensual, equal, respectful relationship even with their pasts and I STAN
omg exactly! i just read the raws for this manhwa and honestly i couldn’t get into it no matter how “lovey dovey” they were cause i’m still upset because of eddie. we really need to move on from this shitty seme shows “kindness” once and uke falls head over heels for them trope it’s not healthy or fun to read
We need to get over this in general, in society and pop culture that toxic or emotionally damaging men are redeemed by falling with whom they harm. It’s pervasive in all forms of media. literally everyone on another comment thread are bending over backwards to suck the dick of an author who’s written a small Seme/ big uke plot where the seme was sexually abused as a child so his raping of his current partner is excusable. And this is just an extreme of the trope. it’s seriously disgusting how it’s our biggest and most widely accepted fantasy and objectively speaking the most popular trope among women and even men of all backgrounds and ages because are conditioned from a young age that this is normal. Why wouldn’t we then fantasize and sexualize such a “normal” dynamic.
Yessssssss. It honestly promotes such toxicity in relationships. ALSO, whenever the uke gets upset why are they always to blame??? Like they will be neglected, ignored, guilt tripped, and assaulted and in the end they end up apologizing. I can count on one hand the number of times a seme has apologized even after doing really shitty stuff
Yes! I know fiction does not equal reality, but it’s WAY too obvious irl how prevalent it is. Even from a young age, girls are told guys and hurt them because they have a crush on the girl. And it’s become way to normalized for people to not respect other’s boundaries in the name of love. And ESPECIALLY in yaoi there’s such a power imbalance. The seme’s way is law, and literal rape is just considered normal.
it’s actually scary how young impressionable audience that reads yaoi are being conditioned to think that things like this are okay, and i used to be part of that audience and as i’ve grown older i started to hate these tropes because of how much influence it can have on people so easily. and ik the other manga you’re talking about; i was really upset with that plot too and somehow the uke has to feel bad for the seme despite what he’s been put through (which is in no way excusable at all).
Yeah I know what you mean. I started reading pretty young when I wasn’t really mature enough to realize what was wrong with the relationships. I’ve gotten older and am able to pick up on it better, but it’s still really unfortunate that I was kinda conditioned to think it was okay, especially because the yaoi community as a whole has kinda become numb to really toxic relationships so I never really saw anyone bring it up. I’m not blaming anyone, but looking at the bigger picture it’s hard to think that there are and were literal 12 year olds reading rape-to-love mangas and seeing nothing wrong. I still read yaoi, but there’s a lot of popular ones I avoid just because of how unhealthy the relationships are and how normalized it is.
Thank you! Like I have to deliberately look it up to find ones with ukes who can stand their ground. Personally I’d recommend Megumi & Tsugumi, the uke (who is an omega!) is never thought of as lesser or weak by the seme and is portrayed as really strong and tough and stubborn. Also if you’re willing to read like 50 chapters in Bj Alex DG eventually realizes his worth and does what’s good for him, even with pressure from the seme. But yes, it really sucks
I think my being easily irritated is coming out haha I could never deal with Eddie. I’m not coming for this manga but tbh irl if I met someone who was a jerk on the outside but internally different I would just drop em. I don’t have the patience for that lol