Hellooooo

Yuki October 19, 2020 4:45 pm

I'm writing my first yaoiiiii. Hope people can take a look and give me feedback. The story is still under development but I wanna make it tragic.

Here's the link (づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ

https://www.quotev.com/story/13169845/Un

Responses
    Kuroneko October 19, 2020 4:49 pm

    I would love to read! Keep up the hard work. Also, if you don't mind I would love to give feedback ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ .

    Anonym2003 October 19, 2020 6:25 pm

    The part I’ve read so far is AMAZING! You have the required writing skills and the potential to make it into a great story. If this part was meant as a prolog or an intro, I believe it’d be even better if you reminded the reader your starting point. Because you wrote in the beginning:
    «I’m happy»

    Connect the ending (just my opinion!) and the beginning by adding another sentence or two after: «My first love was ending even before I realized it.»

    Here’s some examples:
    1. «But I’m happy. I’m happy he now belongs to someone that will cherish and treasure him as dearly as I would. I’m happy for him. Happy for his sake.
    I’m happy.
    And I wish I could’ve believed in such a hurtful lie too.»

    2. «I was happy»

    It’s just my opinion ofc, and I know you’d make it sound much better! I would love to read more and wish for you and your story all the best!

    Yuki October 19, 2020 6:32 pm

    OMG I'm soooo touched someone read it!!! Thank you!!!

    Anonym2003 October 19, 2020 6:36 pm
    OMG I'm soooo touched someone read it!!! Thank you!!! Yuki

    No problem, really! I don’t mind spending my time on good reading materials:) Work hard and keep going!

    Yuki October 19, 2020 6:37 pm
    No problem, really! I don’t mind spending my time on good reading materials:) Work hard and keep going! Anonym2003

    Thank you for the feedback!!! Really appreciate it!! ヾ(☆▽☆)
    Yes its a prolog and I'll be editing it again. I just wrote and posted it on the spot hoping for some inspiration. And this really inspired me!!! I'm really happy right now ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ

    Yuki October 19, 2020 6:38 pm
    I would love to read! Keep up the hard work. Also, if you don't mind I would love to give feedback ε=ε=(ノ≧∇≦)ノ . Kuroneko

    Any feedback or comments is greatly appreciated! Thank you for reading it

    Anonym2003 October 19, 2020 6:46 pm
    Thank you for the feedback!!! Really appreciate it!! ヾ(☆▽☆)Yes its a prolog and I'll be editing it again. I just wrote and posted it on the spot hoping for some inspiration. And this really inspired me!... Yuki

    That’s great! If you wrote this one on the spot then wow I’d love to see the final results when you’re done! Looking forward for more(づ ̄ ³ ̄)づ