Red 21 chps. And decided to drop it. There r several reasons. 1 st - dialogues between characters r so poor. For example: - what is ur reason? - I ve something in my mind. And another scene. (It is not exist in story, just expl) 2 nd - we know nothing about characters. We can't even see their thoughts. Only words. What is uncomfortable to judge anyone. 3 rs - expressions. It s only, smile, serious, question, blushing....And maybe something another. We can't see complicated feelings of characters or doubting. 4 th - some moments, which supposed to be funny, in reality r just child s pranks. Well, maybe something else. But I can remember only those. Which is why this story imagine to write by some school-girl. Or teen.
Of course, it s only my opinion. And maybe wrote something too sharp. But.... Cuz of its dropped. Though Ml is beautiful
Red 21 chps. And decided to drop it. There r several reasons.
1 st - dialogues between characters r so poor. For example:
- what is ur reason?
- I ve something in my mind.
And another scene.
(It is not exist in story, just expl)
2 nd - we know nothing about characters. We can't even see their thoughts. Only words. What is uncomfortable to judge anyone.
3 rs - expressions. It s only, smile, serious, question, blushing....And maybe something another. We can't see complicated feelings of characters or doubting.
4 th - some moments, which supposed to be funny, in reality r just child s pranks.
Well, maybe something else. But I can remember only those.
Which is why this story imagine to write by some school-girl. Or teen.
Of course, it s only my opinion. And maybe wrote something too sharp. But.... Cuz of its dropped.
Though Ml is beautiful