Mm, most of the world seems to be very ignorant of what true consent is. Sexual assault/coercion is common in yaoi, in shoujo, in TV, everywhere. It's just slightly more obvious in yaoi because a lot of it is rape.
I just try to sift through everything and find those gems in which the relationship consists of all or mostly consensual touch and sex and whatever. Still a bit hard to find. Basically have to just take it as a story and hope that people do not think such actions are okay in real life, even if they enjoy the story. That's what I do for the authors I like that have a lot of nonconsensual stuff.
yeah, i try to sift through it, too. i'm surprised people hit the annoying button on my comment lol but geez, there's a problem when people romanticize rape or abusive relationships in things that they've read or watced. i have read some yaoi mangas that were pleasant and NO rape, but there is always some bit of force at the beginning or even in the middle (after the relationship has been going well) in most...i get that about yaoi. i think the thing i have the most issue with is when people comment stuff like, 'this character should've raped him' or 'i'd rape him' or 'i want to be raped by him'. btw there are mangas i keep up with that have a lot of nonconsensual stuff, but i i'm one of those who know it's just a story.
why does most yaoi gotta have rape? ugh