Responses
You said it, girl.
Im you explained the point of the story so well, this comment should be on top. I totally agree with what you said. Why are people in the comment section here trashing on Soudai (and Haru as well) so much, when it's obvious they do love each other, it's just insecurities/inferiority from Sou and identity complex/stubborness from Haru that kept them apart. I love this story and have come back to read it many times because of the feeelings snd emotions . I am also "blinded by love" like Haru so I guess I can relate haha
Haru loves Soudai because Soudai understood his stubborness. Still, he hates Soudai because when it came to his love, Soudai isn't meeting him halfway like before.
Soudai loves Haru's stubborness. But he hates Haru's stubborness for imitating him which could mean surpassing him and Haru might realize that Soudai isn't that great.
Basically, the one thing they love about each other is what made them feel hate as well. I love that concept of duality.
— — just a lengthy explanation
Natsuki's "if-it-was-me" answer for unrequited love basically explains Haru and Soudai. Soudai just felt it earlier on because he was also insecure about Haru's obsession for him. Just like what Soudai said, Haru could easily surpass him. This is not a love story where two people are in parallel lines of who they are and be the best of themselves while being together.
It's an identity crisis sort of love because Soudai will basically feel like he can't be himself whenever Haru imitates him. It's that comparison trap where the other person is a "better version" of you. That's why I understand Soudai's decision to separate himself from Haru.
It must be because we're given Haru's perspective that we overlook his obsessive yet stubborn love. He imposes himself on Soudai so much that he mirrored Soudai too much. He molded his identity on Soudai and was only given an opportunity to be 'himself' when they were apart. Also, he didn't really confess which meant his own stubborness is making him hurt like that. He just expected Soudai to act on it like when they were kids.
The gap years made them have their own life. Soudai doesnt have to feel inferior anymore because Haru is living a life separate from his own. That's why I understand the "I love you so much that I hate it" — also because they're not even confessing to each other so the insecurities and complexes grows LMAO.
I actually love this. I just feel bad for Iwata because at the end he did look like he liked Haru. Although, I'm sure that he was also intrigued with Soudai and Haru's relationship that's why he imposed himself on Haru.