I have mixed feelings about Dokjae and Areum, also I have mixed feeling about the comments...

I have mixed feelings about Dokjae and Areum, also I have mixed feeling about the comments people make about them. I have a feeling that if their gender was swiped, people would’ve reacted differently. Plus, it’s ironic that Dokjae is becoming the very thing she’s scared of and it kinda makes sense but that means Dokjae needs help, she doesn’t need her past to become an excuse.
I’m not trying to justify Areum’s actions because he was in fact, being sexist. But then again, opinions change all the time, they come and go. He sure has a lot of place to grow and that should happen and I totally agree with that. But I don’t think he deserves to be traumatized for life because of his beliefs which is what I see people tend to do and a lot of people agree with them, while on the other hand I have a feeling that if Dokjae was a man ans Areum was a sexist woman it’d be a taboo to try to blame him in any way, or specially saying “he’s signed up for this” which I think the same thing applied to Dojae as well in her past relationship but I don’t see her being blamed as much. People have a lot of reasons why they feel the need to stay in a toxic relationship. Sometimes people are willing to harm themselves so much and even go as far as being traumatized for life because of the obsession and attachments they have to someone. There are people who are and get in a relationship with their rapist. But that doesn’t really make it okay, it doesn’t matter if the subject of trauma is a man or woman.
It’s not really weird for us to see a woman chasing down a man and get unnecessarily physical with a man, grabbing a man’s wrist but if the gender is reversed, that’s toxic.
I also wanna note that the alley thing is what that makes me have mixed feelings about their relationship because despite what I said, I also have a contradicting sense that he could’ve become like Dokjae if she didn’t know Judo. But then again, we mever see it happening, so maybe he wouldn’t rape her? But I can’t justify him.
What I said had more to do with the fact that I have a feeling that people would go easier on Areum if he was a woman than justifying what the characters actually did because in the end I think both of them are kinda the same shit.
I also feel like I need to clarify this because ik there are people who’re going to say “I’m like those men who try to turn women’s problems to men’s problems” or I’m sexist. Well imo both men and women are suffering in a sexist society (which is the society I live in). In a society in which a gender is an object to buy, one gender has to be the buyer. So we have a toxic and sexist dynamic going on for both sides. I think it’s useless to try to prove whether men are suffering more or women are suffering more, which doesn’t justify generalization and being sexist. Sexism against women ends bad for men and sexism against women ends bad for men in the end. For example, men on the other side have more trouble expressing emotions and speaking up about abuse and rape. Specially in a society like mine in which they’d be called “faggots” for having emotional truama or even being raped. It’s specially harder for men to express what they go through if the abuser is a woman. While most people diagnosed with depression are women, men are the ones who commit the most suicides. Then again, my point isn’t to prove that men are suffering more because I think both men and women suffer, but differently. I actually think a lot of the problems men go through is first, because people sometimes tend to describe femininity in a wrong way, so it makes femininity as a whole a “weak” thing while those traits don’t really have anything to do with femininity. Secondly because they put femininity down so a man who’s feminine, is less respectable than a masculine man, which is how it is in my society it could be different in your society. Also a lot of has to do with relating sex roles to power and hierarchy. I don’t wanna get too far into it because I think I’ve made my points clear enough by now