Just my take on why Dohyun forget things, especially Sungho

Midnitea August 9, 2020 12:31 pm

Basically he has some kind of trust/abandonment issue... I think his parents are divorced and his mom didn't want to take him, on the other hand, his dad left him with his aunt (his dad's sister) and he was abused by his aunt's husband who felt burdened by him in the family. From that experience, he tends to suppress his memory and basically forget things, especially people's faces, in order to-- survive, in his own way. He did that so he didn't have to face his own feelings, the sadness from being abandoned by both of his parents. He also didn't let anyone get too close, not even his girlfriends or his friends, because he felt that in the end, everyone will leave him too someday. So what's the point of getting close and leaving yourself vulnerable?

(And on the later chapters it was shown that when he accepted all of those feelings-- he felt like a ghost, because no one really cares about his existence except for Sungho).

And then there came Sungho. Dohyun didn't trust Sungho either, in the first place. Not until that time when he came with a bruised cheek and Sungho took care of him, and he felt happy for the first time after a long time. He then decided to give Sungho a chance. But the friendship went to be more intimate when he initiated kissing. But they didn't do much after that.

Problems arose when they went to different classes. Dohyun realized that he lived in a different life from Sungho and they slowly fell apart. Sungho didn't want that and initiated sexual relationship, to get them more closer-- which fell to Dohyun's favours because it shows how much he meant to Sungho. But Dohyun, still conflicting with his trust issue, wanted to test Sungho somehow, to see how far he will go for Dohyun, thus resulted in him manipulating Sungho to do more sexual things, even things that Sungho secretly found repulsive. Sungho put up with it and did all of them anyway, solely because he didn't want to lose Dohyun.

Dohyun didn't stop the 'test', however, he kept on pushing Dohyun to do things, and even playing ghost with him by not replying his text and his calls. This was started when he felt insecure about Sungho's reactions to him, when Sungho didn't want them to hold hands in front of people.

Without him knowing, on Sungho side, though, not only Sungho felt embarrassed and frustrated with the things that they do lately, he also got mocked by his classmates when they found him frozen after seeing a condom that they were playing fell on top of his desk. He got into a fight with them as well.

After that, Sungho got more frustrated when Dohyun started acting like he's ignoring him (in order to see how far Sungho will desperately look for Dohyun). At the end of his string, Dohyun called Sungho only to hang up without talking nor listening to him, and I guess it was when he basically ran from home and absentmindedly waited for Dohyun at the warehouse. (Because previously when he did that, Dohyun came for him).

I'm not sure about the order but I guess after that he was dragged by police (because his parents were looking for him and contacted everyone). And that was when he angrily said to Dohyun that he shouldn't do anything in the first place. After that, of course, things snowballed because when people found him on the warehouse, and they also found all the secret stacks from Dohyun's friends and it became everyone's talks. They talked about this behind his back, literally, and Sungho was triggered and hit the student angrily, to the point that he pushed away a teacher as well. He dropped out of school after that.

Ironically though, that night when Dohyun called Sungho only to hang up-- finding his messages to be 'cute', was the time when Dohyun fell more for him, liking the way Sungho begs for him. That's why he bought an expensive CD for Sungho from his hard-earned pay from parttime and brought it to school.

That was when he found Sungho dragged by police in the morning, and Sungho angrily called what they did as disgusting.

Dohyun was completely heartbroken by that. Because he thought Sungho was different from others-- that Sungho can be trusted, that he can believe in Sungho. But turned out Sungho was lying. Then he shouldn't even start to believe anyone in the first place.

So after Dohyun broke the CD that he bought, Dohyun said to himself,
"Let's forget, forget this quickly."

In order to escape from regret and pain of Sungho's betrayal.

And he did. He did forget.

Responses
    Midnitea August 9, 2020 12:38 pm

    Sungho was obsessive, but Dohyun was manipulative. And he was obsessed too, at some point, bc otherwise why would he want to keep Sungho so bad to the point that Sungho wouldn't be able to leave him?

    Anw I should've stopped reading and talking about this manhwa lmao ( ̄▽ ̄)