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Hey, i'm so sorry you had to go through that. Maybe you should just lightly ask A what that tweet was about? Maybe they mean they're done with tryna self-harm bc they're really getting the help they need from therapy, it may not be something bad necessarily. Ofc that's got like a 1/5 chance of happening, but one can hope a bit, right? Also, i'm not sure if you want to remain friends with them or if you're just going through this wringer bc you feel responsible for their safety. If you do want to stay friends with them, let them know that's what you want, but that you're amenable to giving them the space and time they need to get over you. If you don't, i firmly suggest letting their parents know about this tweet/the response to this tweet (unless the parents are the problem, in which case you should see if there's some other friend who can be trusted with this info and is in the right state of mind to be handling this sitch) and tryna get some space for your mental health to improve bc you need to lookout for yourself first and foremost, and it's not like you've completely washed your hands off this matter. You can always go and check on them every once in a while, make sure they're doing okay. Just don't invest too much of your dwindling energy into this.
At least that's my take on it. Make of it what you will.
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just talk to A and asked what they meant cause that wont hurt to ask and talk to someone, afriend or a close relative dont bottle up ur emotion that will worsen ur mental health...If u dont have anyone to talk to u ill be here ok...
u dont have to bottle it up...and if u can afford it go to a psycologist
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You’re not suppose to neither bear or feel so much responsbility over your friend, even if you reached out for her first. I’m sure you had fair and good intentions to begin with as As friend, but you don’t have to be the one to give them the help A need, that’s a given that a expert did be more experienced with advices about this. Don’t get dwelled by the pressure of staying by her side like you did in the past, cause it’s no good if both of you are experiencing anxiety and depression, so getting yourself involved again will just make it harder for the both of you. So I believe you did the right thing by making a distance between the two of you.
And I’m afraid that you might feel guilty if something happenes to A, and I’m sorry if I made the wrong assumption, but I want to be sure that this gets to you. If A does something dangerous, then please know this: It’s not your fault and you’re not and have never been responsible for it.
I’m not telling you that you shouldn’t do anything at all, because you can still help and support her in other ways. And not to mention what A just contacted you about, something I think that you shouldnmt keep quiet about. You’re not alone, and so is A. There are adults around her that can help here, and you have your parents as well, so talk to them, because they’ll know better of what to do if they know the situation. It’s alright to search for comfort but also for someone to solve this situation to something slightly better. Please talk to them, because this might be helpful for A as well.
And in times like this, I suggest for you to think about yourself. You’ve had a really tough time too, and you should start to worry about you own problems in your life too. It’s no good if you use all your times thinking of A, because you clearly don’t feel good about it. Please take properly care of yourself. And don’t be scared on your own just like this. We on mangago are always here if you need to talk, but be sure to talk to your parents too.
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Thanks for all of the suggestions, it help a lot and it means a lot to me. Im not the type to open up like this but this helped. I will like to clarify some things thought, A is nonbinary so their pronouns are them they. Me and A are no longer friends, we havent spoke in have a very long time and to be frank, as guilty as i feel, feel much better since i stop talking to them was able to reflect and think of everything that happened but there is that guilt inside. Another thing A parent and me arent in the greatest terms ever since the break and dont like me that much because they think im the reason A is like this. Although i disagree because i was trying my best. I dont know much of As friend group since i havent spoken to them in a long time, so i dont know who to reach out. I havent spoken to my parents about the issue because just like As parents they arent the biggest fans of A. But also because they dont believe in mental health and whatever not. Also another thing, A has gotten help before they have tired but failed however in our new school they were able to find someone who can helped. After rethink everything that happened, i think our friendship faild because we both had our traumas and didnt know the best and healthy way to seek help. We used each other as vent bags and lashed out our frustration to one another. I dont think A knew that they were emotionally manipulating me, although looking back i can see that in some cases they did without really knowing it. I think is because since i was the only person who was there for them and was there to hear them, they didnt want to lose me. As much as i wanna speak to them, i think is better for me to move on because i still responsible for everthing and i still havent sorted out my own problems. Anyway, i hope this clears somethings up. Thank you for kind word
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Oh God, I just realized that I wrote «her» multiple times, I’m so sorry! Is it possible to make an excuse about my 4 hours with sleep from the night before? Because I was really tired back then with a lack of sleep and it was 3 am! So I somehow wrote her multiple times because I’ve had a female friend that was like A, still, I’m sorry! I still lacking sleep though, but I’ll try my best!
And I agree, that relationship didn’t sound to me as a healthy one, so I’m glad that you made an end on it, although you still feel a little guilty. But you should let go of that feeling, because, you tried your very best, and it were moments when you were in need, where you heard them out and helped A when they needed it. A now has helped elsewhere, but as you wrote it yourself, you made a huge diffenrence during their hard time, as the only one there for them. You’ve done more than enough, so let this bad guilt rest and fade away, you’ve done more than any other person could’ve for A right there and then.
I’m sorry to hear that As parents do blame you for it, and I hope that, for the nearest future, or at least one day, that it’ll all be cleared out and they’ll get to know the truth. Too bad your parents weren’t an option, but it’s good that you made through it all now and can move on. Because I agree, that friendship wasn’t really good for you guys, and I wish for you to move on with peace in your heart. That’s everything I got to say. Have a nice further day and I hope everything will go well for you from now on!
Me and this friend had been friends for almost 4 years, I’ll call them A for the most part. Later in our friendship A told me that they has depression and suicidal thoughts, at first I didn’t know any to do but I told them if they need to talk or had break downs I was there. Now I’m not the best person to come to and vent about these certain topics and I don’t know how to handle situations like these. But at the time I didn’t know this so anytime they would come to me ,I was there to hear all there though and feeling even though sometimes I just didn’t want to or just couldn’t handle that much, but I didn’t know. Later on things got more worse, they started to cut themselves and bring on how much they wanted to die, every time they did this I would get anxiety and scared because I was far away and felt like I couldn’t do anything. I felt guilty for not able to do more then I can, and I would get very defensive about them any time my parents would criticize them. Although they were right from time to time, around this time me and A would get in a lot of arguments. I lashed out at out of frustration because I didn’t know how else to handle them, I was exhausted I felt like I was carrying so much weight over me and I felt like they wanted me to save them from everything even tho I just couldn’t. About a half a year past offer this and A texted me. They told me how they just drank bottle of pills and they think they are about to die and that I should call the police. I didn’t, instead I rushed to my parent to ask them on what to do. They told me that they would call A’s parents to check them, now A’s parents aren’t really the best parents, so I was nervous about it. But there wasn’t much I could’ve done, about a week later and A appeared. A told me that they gave them a Psychologist and subscribe some meds for their depression. After that incident things went well, we hanged out like normal but it didn’t feel like before. We stop talking like we used to, we didn’t hang out like we didn’t. After everything I was more mentally and emotionally exhausted then ever. The summer of last year my parents planned a trip, they asked if I wanted to invited A i said sure. I thought that maybe we could hanged out more and take them away from a lot of stress and do something fun. However those 3 days were exhausting, I didn’t want to do anything, I didn’t want to get up, didn’t want to talk, didn’t want to see anyone. On the last day of the trip A confessed to me, told me they liked me for a while. I rejected them I didn’t see them that way and that maybe we should take a break to sort out our feelings, however I think they knew what I meant. That maybe we should take a break from our friendship and maybe even end it. During this time I was more stressed then ever, I had family problems, school problems and my own mental problems as well. About e days ago A reached out to me, and said hi. I didn’t reply, not because I didn’t want to talk to them and because I just didn’t know how what to say. A few moments ago, A tweeted that they were done, i don’t know what that meant but now I’m scared.