This story lacks a climax

TachibanaChiharu July 18, 2020 2:03 pm

This comic has such interesting characters and such a great setup, especially regarding the character interactions, that it's a shame the ending was so rushed. Also, much of the connective tissue of the story is missing, which makes the latter half of the story come apart at the seams by the end.

It cometh forth, and what much complaining shall be had presents forthwith a lengthy diatribe, beyond which any sane individual shall care to peruse.
(spoilers)
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First off, the title. The primary plot of this story is piano/music school stuff, which should be reflected in the title, but isn't. Rename this to something like "Piano Complex" or "Body in G Major".

The relationship situation is a convoluted mess by the end.

Whether or not Jaehyun still loves Minwoo is a really important factor in how the relationships will turn out, yet is never clarified. Jaehyun says a few times that he used to love Minwoo, implying he doesn't anymore, but his actions indicate he still has feelings for Minwoo. It is not unthinkable for a character in a comic like this to lie to himself in the text of the story, but usually they admit they have done so on-screen by the end of the story, if this is the case. But this never happens. The audience needs some clarity on this point so that they can feel really satisfied and secure with the posture Jaehyun and Seojin are in with each other at the end of the story.

Minwoo loving or not loving Jaehyun is never clarified. This is a big factor for whether Jaehyun will try to repair his relationship with Minwoo or instead choose Seojin at the end, since we're not sure if Jaehyun really has given up on Minwoo yet or not. We see eventually Minwoo getting obsessive over Jaehyun but it's never shown whether that's because Minwoo "loves" Jaehyun or because he had a toy taken away from him. And please note that Jaehyun had the perfect storm of ideal attributes for Minwoo: good looking, super horny, willing to put up with his BDSM insanity, and forcibly dependent on him due to no family or job or skills. It would be very hard for Minwoo to replace Jaehyun and tick all these boxes with a new person, so it's not unreasonable to think he could just be pissed that his toy was taken away.

Something needs to be done to obviate the "stockholm-y" nature of Seojin's "love" for Jaehyun. Seojin was all gung-ho on using Jaehyun to exact revenge on Minwoo early on, and then after Jaehyun forces Seojin to have sex with him against his desires, he suddenly decides he loves Jaehyun. This is really risky territory to base a love story on.

The relationship-stuff setup at the beginning reached the wrong conclusion at the end. Early in the story, Jaehyun was going to get revenge on Minwoo by "using" Seojin. The wrap-up for this should've been that Jaehyun gets revenge on both Minwoo for ruining his life and Seojin for having the gall to try and use Jaehyun to take Minwoo down. But this would mean that Jaehyun ends up single, which we can't have in an R19 BL, so we have to force them into a relationship that hasn't been built up properly. If the author really wants this relationship to happen with this particular set-up, then the author needs to show in the text of the comic that Jaehyun has transitioned from wanting to "use" Seojin to enact some kind of revenge on Minwoo to Jaehyun unambiguously loving Seojin, and letting go of the revenge plan. Because this never happens, the whole relationship with Seojin feels forced by the end.

The side characters need to be evaluated for role and purpose in the story.

The chairwoman should be removed from the story completely. The chairwoman's convenience marriage to Minwoo doesn't add anything to the story. He would be in just as much trouble if caught having a sex affair with a student whether or not he was married. Seojin and spurned-TA could've been seeking revenge with or without the chairwoman's interference. Nothing that the chairwoman did to Minwoo couldn't've been done by spurned-TA with a little ingenuity on her part. Finding Jaehyun at the end after he went missing could've happened any number of ways without her help. Seojin didn't need to get sponsorship from chairwoman when his mother died; he could've just inherited whatever small amount of wealth she'd managed to accumulate before she died. The changing of the program could've been forced by spurned-TA threatening Minwoo with making their relationship public, and she could've done it to force Minwoo to be center-stage when Jaehyun embarrasses himself playing the piano like a clod.

The spurned-TA should've just been the virtuoso pianist in Jaehyun's major/department who was angry that Minwoo was showing Jaehyun favoritism when he's a foul-mouthed, lazy, slack-ass who may or may not actually be good at playing the piano. This is much better motivation for her than a cheap "spurned women's club" trope.

Why was there any need for the chairwoman to "bring Minwoo down", anyway? He's just a professor at a college. Was he a bad teacher? Was he bad at the piano? Was she pissed that they had a convenience marriage and she wanted (a real one with him) or (out of it)? Was she mad that he was screwing one of his students (even though she might have been doing the same thing?)? Was she exacting revenge on behalf of his spurned-TA (who may or may not be her lover)? The dumb part is that what she ended up doing caused the exact opposite of what a chairperson of a school would want: a scandal, that would likely impact enrollment, which impacts the bottom line (money), which is Bad (tm) for people who get paid based on the school's success. Also, it was way too obvious that it was arranged by the chairwoman ("the chairwoman changed the program at the last minute!"), so if Minwoo decides he wants revenge for this, he already knows exactly who to target! Just drop this whole chairwoman angle and just make it solely the revenge of the spurned TA.

Well, at least Seojin's motivations for bringing Minwoo down were clear.

Moving on to piano-related plot issues.

It's stated in various places that Jaehyun loves the piano, but we never really see this. Jaehyun is never shown practicing. He says at the end that he's been busting his ass training for the duet with Minwoo, but we can't feel good about it because we never see any practicing happening. It would be better to see him practice, see his hand shake, ruining what he was doing, and getting increasingly frustrated with it over the course of the comic. This would also make the ending have A LOT more impact.

The piano plot is setup well but is never paid off. Jaehyun nagged Minwoo over and over early in the story to assign the duet at the concert to the two of them (Minwoo and Jaehyun). So, after the program gets forcibly changed against Minwoo's will, Jaehyun should've actually played the duet with Minwoo at the concert before the big scandal reveal. Not only this, but Jaehyun should've been so amazing that he completely blows Minwoo out of the water and floors both the audience and Seojin as they look on. It should take a lot out of him to keep his hand from shaking during this duet, to tie this back in with the main plot. Jaehyun really needed a moment to shine, to prove he was more than just a useless pretty face. That he was actually amazing and that everyone running their mouths were just jealous. But we never got this, and we're left with a feeling of incompleteness.

Truck-kun rears its ugly head when this should've been a pivotal plot choice. The hospitalization should've been caused by the direct actions of Minwoo choosing to do something awful to Jaehyun rather than a cheap-ass truck-kun moment. This is what everything had built to, and this was the turning point where Jaehyun was supposed to choose to take the downfall to protect Seojin, which meant he was effectively choosing Seojin over Minwoo. But no, we get truck-kun, and thus continued ambiguity about what Jaehyun really wants.

Germany is rife with problems.

Germany issue #1. Is the purpose of Minwoo sending Jaehyun to Germany to provide classical piano training to Jaehyun? If this is true, state it! This is never specifically stated anywhere in the comic.

Germany issue #2. Can Jaehyun realistically get classical training in Germany with his hand the way it is? Seems like no, but we're never given enough info about whether or not Jaehyun likes the piano, or is even that good at playing it before or after his hand was messed-up. One would rightfully assume some minimum level of desire and competence is required before a person gets this sort of training, but who knows if Jaehyun meets that bar. Which leads right into the next issue...

Germany issue #3. Is Jaehyun's "dream" really to go to Germany, or does he just want to get away from Minwoo, or does he just want classical piano training? This also is never clarified. Germany can't be the only place in the world to get classical piano training. So why not instead say it's Seojin's dream to get "classical piano training" rather than "go to Germany"? Meanwhile, Seojin just assumes going to Germany is Jaehyun's "dream" (as if Jaehyun thinks it's a neat place to visit/live), but he doesn't know that, and Jaehyun never confirms or denies this any of the times Seojin mentions it. I always just figured that before his injury, Jaehyun really wanted to go (for the purpose of training), but after the injury, it became more of a barb used to troll Minwoo while doubling as a convenient way to escape Minwoo if he ever managed to get Minwoo to send him.

Germany issue #4. Why was Minwoo "sent to Germany" at the end of the story? First off, he's just a college professor who had a sex scandal, not a disgruntled government employee selling state secrets. Why does he have to be expelled from the country? This is never explained. Does the chairwoman even have the power to force this on him? Just fire him. He can get a job somewhere else, at a different school in Korea.

Germany issue #5. If Minwoo is "sent to Germany" by the chairwoman, it is entirely possible that if Jaehyun and Seojin go later, they'll run in to him, causing everyone problems all over again. The characters even point this out. This whole obsession with unexplained/unmotivated international travel doesn't make any sense at all and actively breaks the ending of the story in many ways.

This story is missing a climax. It can be pieced together from the above, but here's a quick summary of what needed to happen that didn't: Jaehyun plays his duet with Minwoo and kicks ass, shocking everyone, then immediately after in the heat of the moment chooses to take the fall for Seojin (the accident or something like it), simultaneously showing that he does actually love Seojin and that he has finally made his choice to accept Seojin and reject Minwoo.



tl;dr -- The author let the story run away with her at the end, leaving necessary character motivations unexplored/unexplained, plot threads dangling, and turning the ending into a rushed, unsatisfying mess.

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