I've said before, when the photographer first came into the picture that I was kinda for h...

Meru21 July 14, 2020 9:19 pm

I've said before, when the photographer first came into the picture that I was kinda for him but more so for Joowon. My thoughts are still the same now after the breakup. And it's not because I feel sorry for them. It's because haesoo is forcing himself with the photographer. People say that his relationship with Joowon is toxic, but it really isn't. Joowon is a guy who cant handle his jealousy well but he gave Haesoo a lot of freedom and did his best to give him what he wanted while still trying to keep him by his side. Haesoo is scared of his mother's rejection. She and Joowons father are the toxic people in this. Because his mother won't accept him, Haesoo has tried to kill his feelings for Joowon. He's still trying by taking on that photographer. There's just nothing there, though. I think the story is going to go one of 3 ways; haesoo is going to see/hear how much Joowon is hurt by their breakup bu quitting acting and go looking for him if he doesn't show up to the exhibition. Joowon is going to show up to the exhibition, either get really angry out of hurt or really sad and leave (dunno why but I have the feeling he's going to disappear for a while). Or circumstances are going to lead Haesoo to not choose either, which is the more realistic outcome. Any way it falls, the exhibition is going to hurt....

Responses
    wirt July 14, 2020 9:49 pm

    Yes, I agree with you for the most part. I think Joowon was trying to keep his relationship with Haesoo but could not be open or even make it official between them because he could not give Haesoo the relationship he wanted, which is why Joowon told Haesoo not to fall in love with him.
    In order to appease his father Joowon must be successful, where his relationship with H would be seen as a hinderance. J also knew he couldn't go against H's mom. So he settled for the twisted, half hearted relationship they had because it meant that he was still able to be with H and J felt that H would never leave him. The relationship between J x H is only half of a true relationship, the love was there but it did not receive the proper attention and open expression it needed. H sought what was missing in his relationship with J in other people but it never worked because again it was only half of a relationship -- there was no love.
    H wants an obsessive, romantic, love, where they are able to express themselves openly. Over the years H put up with the half hearted relationship with J because he does love J, but there is only so much he can take. Frustration with J is ultimately what lead to their breakup, and H realizing J couldn't give him what he wanted.
    The problem H has now is T is offering that obsessive, open love, but it feels empty for H because he doesn't love T.
    T and J are two halves of a whole. J is the love while T is the relationship type H wants. I think H will come to realize there is no point in having a relationship unless it is with the person he loves cuz most of all what H craves is true love (cheesy I know). I think this story will reach its climax at the exhibition and J will finally show that he is willing to risk it all for H and sacrifice himself in some way to protect H (cuz remember we still have to deal with Leo and the crazy ex) which will lead to H realizing J can now give him both love and a relationship. but tf do I know I've been wrong so many times, im rambled on enough xx

    wirt July 14, 2020 10:43 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    I've read the story

    Meru21 July 14, 2020 11:17 pm

    Wirt, I agree. Haesoo loves Joowon, but is scared to admit it because he's afraid of the consequences. I know that type. I WAS that type. I did the exact same thing and ran away. I had a great guy but was scared to fall in love and find "the one" because I watched my mom lose hers and it not only messed her up it made her mess us kids up too. I broke it off with my guy, using the excuse that he was too emotionally immature (which he was, dont get me wrong) where relationships are concerned and we were hurting each other a lot. I completely cut ties and we had a year where we were apart where I dated an old high school friend and had a pretty bad medical scare where I almost died. The guy broke up with me the day after xmas over fb and I cant say I wasn't upset, but I was relieved too. It gave me the opportunity to reach back out to my one. He was kind enough and loved me enough to give it a real shot. No running this time. We both had changed and grown and now we're going strong for 7 years. Being scared can make you for a lot of stupid things or just things to make you feel safe, because settling seems less scary than reaching out for what you really want and getting rejected. So I empathize a lot with Haesoo. I sincerely hope that Joowon fights for him and Haesoo has enough courage to take the hand that's offered.

    wirt July 15, 2020 2:26 am
    Wirt, I agree. Haesoo loves Joowon, but is scared to admit it because he's afraid of the consequences. I know that type. I WAS that type. I did the exact same thing and ran away. I had a great guy but was scare... Meru21

    couldn't agree more! :)

    Hye July 15, 2020 5:44 am

    Everyone acknowledges Haesoo loves Joowon and it is mentioned several times in the story. its not something you have to read into, its literally apart of the plot lol hell its why Taku first took interest in Haesoo. The whole 2nd part of this story is about heartbreak and losing love (which is the theme of Taku's exhibition and why he chose Haesoo). If you don't see it after reading it then idk what to tell you man like its so central to the plot ¯_(ツ)_/¯

    Hye July 15, 2020 6:01 am
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    they literally spelled it out, what assume lmao???

    whatever man, you do you lol

    Meru21 July 15, 2020 10:59 am
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    I can understand why you would misconstrue it as habit, but that's became a moot point when Haesoo dumped Joowon. Even IF he goes back to Joowon, both Haesoo and Hoowon have changed because of this. Haesoo is delving more into himself, trying to figure out what he feels overall. He hasn't figured that out yet, but even through his lack of understanding it's clear that he loves Joowon. Sometimes people dont need a lot of time to change. An event can change a person, losing someone for a period of time (even a short one) can really make you understand how much they mean to you, how you need to change and what you're willing to do and give up to keep that person from leaving again. When they do get back together, it will be with more understanding and communication because, overall,that's what their relationship was missing from the start. I say that their relationship isn't toxic, because there isn't enough damage being done to either to warrant that level of unhealthiness. Have they hurt one another? Yes. But they haven't caused trauma. (Well, Haesoo may have traumatized Joowon with the breakup, but that's what's called a "necessary trauma" that's used either as shock therapy or will cause the person to grow.) Haesoo mother has caused trauma, joowons father has caused trauma. Lasting trauma. That's what makes them toxic. A relationship can leaves scars, but even when they do that, most dont traumatize. The author is clearly trying to show Haesoos love for Joowon as Haesoo struggles to come to terms with it himself. When T is photographing him and Haesoo has that jarring quick image of Joowon flash through his mind is a perfect example. Love isn't always about butterflies and cute moments. In fact, lasting love rarely has butterflies. Its work. Sometimes its hard sometimes it's easy, but it IS work. His feelings could change, given time, but I dont think they would ever turn towards T. Haesoo's using him as rebound, because the emotion that drives him is loneliness. He doesn't want to be alone, hes afraid of being alone, but hes also afraid of his feelings. Where does that leave him? Either he chooses someone safe that he doesn't have to think about, but is left to figure out his own inner workings, or he accepts the feelings Joowon is obviously throwing at him and that he has himself and possibly lose his family. Hes a coward. He's currently choosing the easy way out but he's going to figure out that that's wrong too. Joowon and Haesoo need time away, for sure, but only enough to come to terms with the demons they're fighting. That could be weeks, a year, two, who knows? Its different for everyone. I think Joowons feelings were infatuation at first but grew into love. I think Haesoo was dragged along, yes, thrown off by Joowons pace, and then the fear of disapproval via his mother made him shut down emotionally. If it's not real, if he can convince himself it's not real (not love) then he can convince his mother too and it can end whenever and it won't hurt. That was probably his thought process.

    Meru21 July 15, 2020 10:17 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    As someone who is very close to finishing a degree in psychology, I'm telling you flat out that the relationship between joowon and Haesoo does not meet any level to be considered toxic. I tried to explain it in a way to make you understand by using the parents as a comparison so I didn't have to bring my education into this and possibly make you feel bad, but you absolutely are misunderstanding their relationship and emotions. Although I do agree that it would be healthier all around if no one got together, Joowon and Haesoo can make it work with communication and understanding of both themselves and each other, which is something they haven't done yet. But most relationships fail because of that very thing.
    With a rebound, it doesn't matter who initiated what, it's still a rebound. It's a relationship that's based off of one or both parties coming out of a long-term or deeply effecting relationship and then jumping into another before they have time to heal from the last. You cant focus on the new one because the old one is in the forefront of your mind even if you dont want it to be and you're unconsciously comparing everything most of the time.
    The flash does not symbolize confusion. His flash was trigger by what Taku said. It showed his true thoughts about the question or subject at hand. That's why psychiatrists do the flash cards and say "tell me the first thing that comes to mind" and dont let you pause to think. If they did, you might change your answer. Things like this tell a lot about a person's logic, emotional well-being and mental health. Haesoo saw Joowon when Taku told him to imagine himself having sex with someone he loved but he was never going to see him again. Even of Haesoo brushes it off and tries to ignore it, the fact is that those are his real feelings because it was an involuntary picture that popped into his head which is why the author made it blurry. Haesoo didn't want to examine the image too closely but he was still effected by it, which showed on his face. Even looking at the rest of the relationship, this is enough to tell where Haesoo's heart is at the moment.
    Haesoo is trying to go through the phases of a breakup as quickly as possible so that he can be all right being on his own, but he's warring with himself because you cant force yourself to do something like that. This is why he is making the decisions hes making and saying the things he's saying. He is trying to convince himself that hes okay, that he can be fine but he isn't allowing himself time to cope with the loss. Joowon was a big part of his life and a breakup is very akin to a death, you go through the same emotional pattern. Haesoo isn't allowing himself to do that and is using Taku as a distraction. This is why Taku is a rebound and why Haesoo is doing what he's doing. He's desperate to not be lonely but at the same time be okay to be alone. It's a hard controversy to deal with and it all stems from his mother's rejection of him, which is why she is toxic, not Joowon. If they had been allowed to be together as kids, the relationship may have fizzled out naturally but having to hide it, them suppressing their feelings made it carry into adulthood and turned it more serious.

    Meru21 July 15, 2020 10:20 pm
    This reply will be showed after approved! Anonymous

    With all of that said, the author is doing a great job portraying all of this. The fact that you're not grasping it is on you. Even without my psych background, I started off majoring in Lit. Just using basic analysis of story writing you can see all of this.

    Hye July 16, 2020 2:40 am

    @Meru21 just ignore them, like at this point the only reason they commented in the first place was to try and preach their version of the story and tell you and me why we are wrong for thinking like we do. If they truly thought that people were free to have their own view and interpretation of the story then they wouldn't have commented in the first place.

    Meru21 July 16, 2020 7:31 am
    @Meru21 just ignore them, like at this point the only reason they commented in the first place was to try and preach their version of the story and tell you and me why we are wrong for thinking like we do. If t... Hye

    He's/she's obviously the type where they think that if they study a little bit of a subject they know all of the subject. That's a really narrow and ignorant way to live life. The fact that they cannot grasp what the author is obviously trying to portray is also very narrow minded. Its still a bit of a surprise when I run into people like this. He/she won't even listen to someone who is very close to having their degree in psych and minored in literature/creative writing. So strange.

    Hye July 16, 2020 4:05 pm
    He's/she's obviously the type where they think that if they study a little bit of a subject they know all of the subject. That's a really narrow and ignorant way to live life. The fact that they cannot grasp wh... Meru21

    its cuz if the facts don't support their view then the facts must be wrong lol