guys, i want to discuss my matter with all of you. would you give me your opinion about my...

zzzz July 28, 2014 3:47 pm

guys, i want to discuss my matter with all of you. would you give me your opinion about my matter?
My family is standard on finance, because of that, i choose normal and a little bit cheap university, i also enter the major that has low budget (actually, i want to become a doctor ^^). but i'm okay with that. i think and believe if i always hardworking and pray, i will success in my way. however, i have a cousin that two years younger than me and want to study abroad for university. her family is not rich but they want the best education for her beside they also have enough money to do that (unlike me). actually i a little bit envy to her, but i still want her to success and always pray the best for her. but, in my opinion she has bad attitude. beside that, she always show off to me about study abroad, tell me the great university she will go, boast everything she will do, storytelling her big dream, arrogant, and thinks money is easy to get. when i tried laboriously have part time to get money for my dream. i don't know she did that deliberately or not. i understand that she also has hard time with her family because they are very very strict. but is she ever know my feelings when i told her about my hard time? in your opinion, what i must do? and your comment for my matter ^^
thank you so much for your help and read my long story.... (sorry for my bad english)

Responses
    Someone July 28, 2014 4:35 pm

    You are right, it does sound like she has a bit of a bad attitude, whether it's her intention to be that way or not. I've experienced similar stuff before... have had a few cousins who studied abroad and bragged about it, knew a lot of people at my high school who were constantly showing off about what 'elite' universities they'd be going off to, etc. when my current situation doesn't allow me to do any of those things. Currently, I am attending to a university that's not exactly my 'dream university' due to my financial situation as well... it's not prestigious and it doesn't have the exact major I wanted... but, like you said, I feel like working hard will lead you to your own success, even if you're not in your ideal situation right now. There are worse situations I could be in, and I'm thankful for the education I can get. I have a lot of faith and always stay hopeful about the future, and do my best with what I have. Your cousin sounds like she just wants to brag... I would just be like, "Oh, I'm glad for you!" and try to bring up another subject in a non-rude way. Don't show her that you feel envious, because that will just make her show off even more. And don't give up on your dreams, because someone like you deserves to have them come true, and you seem like a very dedicated and responsible person. I sincerely wish you the best in life, and don't let arrogant people bring you down!

    morcheeba July 28, 2014 4:37 pm

    Whatever other people do isn't any of your business, since it doesn't affect your life. Don't get me wrong, you're not supposed to walk through life walking with your eyes tightly shut, but if your neighbour has a meal you will still be hungry.
    She's deliberately bragging? She'll learn her lesson soon enough, since life contains more than enough situations where it really doesn't matter what you possess but who you are - and what you're achieving by yourself.
    You're working towards your goal, aren't you?
    Then there's no problem and you don't need to do anything but keep at it. Persevere. Take pride in your road and dance towards your goal. If it is your goal then it doesn't matter if someone belittles or makes fun of you. Surely it's disappointing to not be treated with equal respect but this is your game - if you don't respect your hard work, who will?

    zzzz July 28, 2014 4:34 pm

    thank you so much @Someone for your advice and words. your answer brought me to tears when i read some last sentences in your comment (sorry for being melancholic ^^)
    you also seem very kind and understanding person. i sincerely hope the best for you too.
    I will never give up!

    claymore July 28, 2014 4:37 pm

    two words: duct tape. i think that things would be improved all around if you slap a couple of strips of duct tape over her mouth. XD

    on a more serious matter, do you NEED to do anything? why do you even listen to her? if she goes abroad then fine-people who think the way she does get karma. who the effing hell thinks that college is easy? college abroad, even?

    it's not about you. it's about her. you're limited by finances and that's fine, it's hardly the end of the world and there are others like you. she's got money. big effing deal. money can buy a lot, but it can't buy hard work, and that's what you got.

    think of all your blessings. she has hers, you have yours.

    zzzz July 28, 2014 4:44 pm

    thank you so much for all of your opinion. I can't reply it one by one but i will read it word of word.
    your opinion is very mean to me because i can't tell this to anyone.
    all of your words make me spirited and my eyes open. I will keep trying for my goal!

    guess who July 28, 2014 4:48 pm

    u can just ignore her becuz i know that one day, u can also go abroad for studies... hey! everyone has the same chance, its a matter of wether u grab it first or just let it go...

    Elsa July 28, 2014 5:03 pm

    Well, studying abroad isn't always something to brag about... Sure, it needs money and a steady outcome from the parents, but more expensive doesn't mean better. For example (and I apologize if anyone finds this insulting, it's not, I'm just stating a fact) I live in Finland, and one of my friends studied in USA for a long time. When I asked him about it, he said that the way everything was taught, was "too easy". He studied in university (or college) while swimming. My another friend studied a year in USA, in highschool, and laughed at how easy it was. Mostly because (in some subjects) they learned to do something that we learned to do in our primary school (like grades 1-9). To say it simply: every country has a slightly different pace of studying, they focus on different subjects. I'd say, that if someone from my country went to Japan, they would be completely blown away by the pace they go forward, especially in science! What you should make her realize, is that a rich school doesn't always mean good teachers.Sure, it's usually that way, but not always.

    About what you "must" do, try to get her realize that money doesn't mean that she automatically gets a good job. If she speaks unrespectively about your job, tell her that at least you gain experience, something that a good school and parent's won't give. If you went through an interview, that's even better. The speaking and social skills mean way more when getting a job than the university you studied in (at least in some countries. I believe in USA it still matters, maybe Britannia too)

    I hope this at least in some way answered your question if not, I apologize.

    For all of you who might I might have offended, I'm sorry. I just told what I have been taught in my Education classes :)

    Anonymous July 28, 2014 5:26 pm

    Don't let the envy eat you.
    I'd be honest with her. I'd congratulate her having such good university opportunity and'd tell her honestly that she's lucky and that you didn't have such opportunity and you've been working hard part-time to afford yours. If she doesn't understand at least you'll be at peace with yourself. Sorry for my bad English.

    amazingly anonymous July 28, 2014 8:41 pm

    ... Come to Belgium, our universities are cheap ;) and you can get in without having to take an entrance exam ^^

    She can brag all she want but don't let that take you down. She'll have a hard time in life if she thinks everything is gonna be easy. Just because her parents help her now doesn't mean she can relay on them forever. She'll learn the hardships of not having money at her disposal in the future, I'm sure.

    And who knows? Maybe you'll study abroad, maybe you'll study hard in your own country, get a kick-ass job and travel while getting money in return ^^ Keep looking at the bright side