But I don't really get how putting abuse victim through another extremely traumatic experience should be healing.... It could have backfired any second.
Finally, someone who gets it!
notice that Chanwoo had the choice to leave & say the safe word from the very begining ... it's all about psychology
He had a choice which was impacted by consequences..... It's not a real, full choice. It's not real, honest consent.
Every choice has a consequence, no matter what situation.
MD has tried to help Chanwoo before, only for Chanwoo to refuse to admit that there is a problem. Chanwoo literally has to be the one to say to himself, ‘I don’t like this, I want it to stop.’
did you notice that even after he said the safe word he still felt guilty & apologized to MD & asked for his forgiveness ... this is sooooo wrong & need to be fixed even if it took MD to use the hard way to make him understand that's it's ok for him to use the safe word & he will not hate him for that ... people can't see that this is actually a serious problem with Chanwoo not just in his relationship with MD ... he fear rejection & that's why he still tried work things out with his abusive boyfriends .. he need to learn that's it's ok to say NO when he should
It was literally coercion. You can't put conditions on sub. It's not safe. It's not responsible.
Chanwoo needs Therapy not extremely questionable and dob-con MD's methods...
BDSM is all ABOUT conditions, what are you talking about? The only problem here is that Chanwoo never set his OWN conditions.
I can agree on that but at least you get that there is a problem with Chanwoo & not just randomly cursing MD & say that he is abusive even though with this what so called abusive behavior was actually trying to help Chanwoo ... wether we agree on his method or not this is what the situation they were in led to ... & believe it or not if he went to therapy they will end up want to treat his S&M behavior & if we were 10-20 years before they would want to treat his gayness too "ugly truth"
Omg.... BDSM is about safety, FULL CONSENT, pleasure and satisfaction of both parties. The consent was COERCED. You can't threatened your sub that if he won't participate you are abandoning him. He would feel pressured to do things he doesn't want to push how own limits to no end. It's irresponsible. it's dub-con. Especially knowing he is abuse victim and was just rejected and used. And you pressured him to make up with the guy who just treated him like trash. And MD fully took advantage of his state.
There was no real consent, Chanwoo was feeling anxious, disgusted and uncomfortable through the whole play.
But in the end his behaviour was still abusive and manipulatative.... And not for the first time.
to think that MD did all this because Chanwoo rejected him is stupid ... Chanwoo had boyfriends before & we saw how they end up physically abuse him & my most guess is that happens after they learn about his S&M plays ... MD wanted to save him from that pain as to have both relationship with one person but got rejected, that's 1st & secondly he was seeing how Chanwoo always pushes him self & never says the safe word no matter how hard their play become ... this goes as M insecurities as he pushes himself & don't want to get emotional with his S partner in fear of losing him ... you need to understand that this is the whole thing that's going on with Chanwoo ... that's why when that ass hole approached him as he was well aware of his S&M activity he thought it will work out this time round with his boyfriend & won't have to go through getting found out later & being physically abused again ... His breaking point when he cried and said the safe word was actually when all his fears came true "which is losing his S" when he saw him kissing that guy & yes with a smile ... MD wanted him to face this fear & get over it ... he wanted to show him that he is never gonna let him go either if he loved him or said the safe word often ... let's hope this make sense