I really hope the author uses this plot to expose abusers, and not as some Stockholm syndrome romance. It’ll likely be the latter, unfortunately ┗( T﹏T )┛
Oh my god, 100%... I know it’s inconvenient for everyone’s desired “happy-ending”, but this is just not an good representation of what power-play or Bdsm is... Chanwoo was obviously uncomfortable and MD undeniably knows that Chanwoo is having issues following their limits and safe-words... MD taking advantage of Chanwoo for his own emotional gain is really stressful and fucked up... I kinda just want MD and Chanwoo to completely end it and go their separate ways for the emotional and mental health of them both and for some semblance of bdsm realism.
Unless if md addresses the fact that he abused chanwoo, I don’t see this resembling real bdsm ever again ┑(￣Д ￣)┍ it was so good in the beginning, although that bit where he whipped chanwoo for leaving early was iffy... I was willing to overlook that for the sake of it being just porn, but this kind of stuff just isn’t acceptable.
I love your comment so much I wish I could give it more likes. All of the points you're making are SO important!
Yea, I just want people to know why this chapter (and md) is so toxic. Some people don’t even both debating the fact that they’re abuse excusers, because they know they’re wrong but they don’t want to admit it lol
I'm not even in the bdsm community but I wholeheartly agree with your comment. Know that there are people who understand <3 This is abuse, not bdsm
he was super toxic in ch37 too - it's basically a repeat. this author sheesh.
MD loses his cool and extends the play without consent. Chanwoo likes it ...which I'm not surprised since he's used to being hit by all his partners whether or not they do BDSM :|
THIS. The instant md suspected that chanwoo was unstable, he should’ve ended their sessions. He’s an abusive manipulator, and I hope the author uses this situation to expose him dirtying the name “bdsm”
Yes yes. I am not confident the author knows proper bdsm though... so I'm not very hopeful. I think we'll go down the usual toxic redemption route
Probably tbh. This is their first work, so they’ll most likely have a vanilla ending where chanwoo excuses md’s behavior as scorn and gets with him. Just like how the main story ended, they shouldn’t have gotten back together. Alex was abusive as well, and dg should’ve moved on to a better relationship. Alex could’ve learned from his mistakes and tried again with someone else. But alas, complex plot points are always tossed away in favor of whatever the vanilla people want.
Perfectly said! It's nice to see all of the points/arguments in one place so people can use it as reference.
Thank you! (๑•ㅂ•)و✧
My thoughts exactly!
I also am finding it kind of funny that no ones tried to argue with me yet lmaooo they know they’re wrong and the only other argument they could have is that they’re slut-shaming, victim blaming abuse excusers
I was just reading the comments and came across yours. Now that I see it from that perspective I think MD lost himself to his jealousy and also wanted to get back at Chanwoo. He's a professional in the BDSM world; there is no way MD doesn't know the rules of consent. Did ya'll see that mean smile he gave out while in the cafe? MD has done Chanwoo wrong! I hope this doesn't escalate in the next chapter :/
I hope so too （/TДT)/ unlike chanwoo, he is mentally and emotionally stable, so he knows what he’s doing. he’s just throwing a dangerous tantrum like a child who was told “no” for the first time
Exactly. Also it doesn't matter what you say or how well you explain things they use the same arguments over and over again trying to cover up the abuse. In most cases it's not even worth your time since you'll never reach a middle ground.
Oh my gosh same! It's already bad I don't want it to get worse. I just want them to stop and go their separate ways, it's difficult for me to see the light in the tunnel.
MD is literally acting like a spiteful manchild trying to get revenge on an abuse victim using BDSM as a cover. Disgusting!
people calling Chanwoo a hoe for finding lovers real quick gets me upset but Chanwoo past must be really bad if he keeps finding partners after another its like hes desperate for "love" and each one of the guys he dates keep abusing him, and sometimes when ur a victim you can act dumb sometimes and shit can ruin trust and yourself.. but people that says he deserved it, i dont think they ever been abused to the point of them not being able to say no, yes chanwoo rejected him saying no, but Chanwoo dont want to lose the relationship with MD thats why he agreed to things, and i dont think people are getting a differene between BDSM and emotional and physical abuse, i never tried BDSM but i was a victim of abuse mental, and physical so its hard and i can act like a piece of shit sometimes but cmon? he deserved it ? really?
i have to write these over again since my shit was taking long to load, I FULLY agree MD told the new guy to kiss hoim, the new guy did Chanwoo didnt know he was gonna get kiss, the new guy didnt have consent to kiss him thats why Chanwoo face was wierd and he pushed him away and it seems to me like MD knows Chanwoo cant say no, and while i thought MD was manipulating somebody said that, thats what they do in BDSM manipulate people which i disagree
I’m tired of commenting on everyone else posts, so I’ll make my own. I’ll go through ever point I’ve seen, and explain why it’s incorrect. Match your point to mine to see an explanation.
“They’ve played multiple times before and did worse”
Yes, but consent does not carry. Especially in bdsm. Just because someone agreed once before, does not give their partner the right to their body indefinitely. In real bdsm, each play is discussed beforehand and is approved on by both parties. Clearly this didn’t happen, because chanwoo was shocked at md’s instructions.
“It’s bdsm they can be hit”
No. Bdsm is consensual, and chanwoo did not and can not consent.
“Why can’t he consent?”
He is shown several times to be mentally and emotionally incapable. Md choked him to see if he was capable of saying the safeword. It was confirmed that he couldn’t when he did not say it. Chanwoo is shown with a bruised face and repeatedly brushes off concern with “I’m fine”.
“He knows how md feels but he goes to the other guy anyways”
A person is never, ever obligated to return someone’s unrequited feelings. After md confessed, chanwoo politely refused And wished to keep a casual bdsm relationship. Because they stated beforehand that they want their bdsm and romantic lives separate, md’s feelings do not belong in their plays.
“How is he being manipulated? This is unrelated to their plays”
Yes, personal feelings should be left out of bdsm. MD knows that, but he puts them there anyways. Md also knows that chanwoo values him as a bdsm partner and as a friend, so when chanwoo attempted to introduce md to his boyfriend and he clearly was upset, no plays should’ve been initiated until md could cool down his feelings. Chanwoo was given an ultimatum, in that he either participate in the play or never communicate with md again. He fears losing md, so he agrees despite clearly not wanting to. This is coercion, and a coerced person cannot consent.
“Md is upset because chanwoo hurt his feelings so that’s why he hit him like that”
Again, unrequited feelings are never obligated to be returned, and personal feelings have no place in a casual bdsm relationship. Yes this hurt his feelings, but hurt feelings are never an excuse to coerce or hurt another person.
“He deserves it”
No one deserves abuse. Ever.
“How is it abuse”
It is abuse because he cannot consent. No consent = abuse/rape.
“I’ve been in a bdsm relationship that had plays exactly like this and I’m fine”
I’m sorry you’ve been abused before, but you should not use it as leverage to excuse other abuse.
“It’s just fiction why are you mad”
I, and many others, are mad because this abuse is being disguised as bdsm. This is harmful to the bdsm community, because it puts us in a bad light, and relates us to abusers. We are only attempting to keep our community’s image clear.