THIS.
?? But the choice is Chanwoo's, and he even asks if he has to, and MD makes it clear that he doesn't. It's not right and it hurts to see, but the choice is absolutely Chanwoo's and that's what there is to it. MD isn't forcing him into anything, Chanwoo is the one who is deciding to stay. He is his own person and whether or not we think it's a mistake, he can't pin this on MD. You also have to think- no one is obligated to return anyone's feelings, but to rub it in his face by bringing some other guy and asking for permission?? Yikes.
I think you might have forgotten that Chanwoo is used to abuse. He falls easily into manipulation and if leaving was so easy, as you say, many abuse victims would simply walk away. But abuse takes its toll on a person’s psychology. When Chanwoo brought a guy to meet MD, I believe he was hoping to prove to MD that he is capable of normal relationships in order to maintain their original sex friends relationship.
He is still being manipulative. He keeps pointing out that if Chanwoo doesn't do as he is told, he won't be his sub.
That's like telling someone "hit yourself, oh you don't have to. But if you don't I'll tell everyone your secret." (This is blackmail, but it's similar and it's the only thing I could think of.)
It's that kind of manipulation.
A "normal" relationship wouldn't include having a bdsm sex friend on the side, and regardless, it's entirely unfair to MD to have been rejected after letting him know that he has more than professional feelings for him, and then Chanwoo going to him with someone he wants to date for real. I'm not saying MD was acting entirely mature, but Chanwoo isn't MD's victim- MD is human too, and whether it not he's doing it out of spite, he has given chanwoo more than one opportunity to walk away. Abuse victims are manipulated, but often they stay because of feelings of love and guilt, in Chanwoo's case, he wants a pretty face that is his exact type and affection, but he has made it clear that his personality and he himself is very stubborn and proud, and he's choosing not to walk away.
i think @kurokurage is right
chanwoo might be really manipulative but he has just really bad luck in his relationships
he always has abusive boyfriends
but still it was his choice to stay
and i feel like chanwoo does not want that that new guy’s taking over his place so that his plan’s actually working, using chanwoo to get in touch with MD
fighting chanwoo
it’s not like he dislikes being his sub
he does not want to loose
You guys....you really don't know what real BDSM is, are you? Then why are you reading this again? Sorry, but I can't feel bad for Chanwoo since he's the one acting like a slut, totally disrespecting MD's feelings.
He's being manipulative, but he only has that opportunity to because he knows that chanwoo is stubborn and prideful and won't give up, but he's not holding anything over his head or telling him that he'll harm him in anyway. To MD, if Chanwoo really doesn't have feelings for him, it wouldn't be a problem to just walk away. MD made it clear that he had feelings for Chanwoo, and Chanwoo, after rejecting him, proceeds to rub salt into the wounds without caring about how he'll feel by bringing him a guy that he wants to have the kind of relationship with that MD was hoping for. No one could expect MD to handle that well because he's human. I'm not saying he's in the right, but I'm not going to pretend Chanwoo is some kind of victim. He was given a choice and he decided on his own that he'd rather go along with the play than walk away from it.
Babe real BDSM has rules which MD is breaking.
If your definition of “real bdsm” is allowing one party do whatever they want for the sake of the play and have the other party say the safe word to stop, YOU don’t know what bdsm play is. It’s supposed to consensual on both sides. Not ONCE did Chanwoo consent to being choked nearly to death, slapped, and having his boundaries be invaded by a stranger.
Ik I’m so confused why people are saying it’s MDs fault. It’s a bdsm relationship him getting slapped in a bdsm relationship is normal?? And it’s like they forgot MD confessing his feelings for chanwoo but chanwoo rejecting him and being selfish and wanting to still continue their relationship. He then goes to MD to tell him he wants to date someone else but still selfishly continue their bdsm
I see you don't difer abuse disguised as BDSM with real, safe BDSM.
Please search up reasons why abuse victims choose to stay and come back if you still want to input your opinion.
Omg i accidentally disliked my bad :(
Thank you for proving my point. His stubbornness to keep this relationship with MD is because he loves him to the point of not wanting to lose him, yet not being brave enough to venture out of the safe space of their purely sexual relationship because all his previous boyfriends have been abusive and did not work out.Yes, Chanwoo is prideful, but that only adds onto the reasons as to why he cannot just leave.
I guess you're right.
But I suppose the blame can't be on just one person. It's just a shitty situation either way.
I do understand MD slapping chanwoo was petty of him but I can also understand why he would be upset with chanwoo. Even if he has no right to be upset because he was rejected, but having the person you like come up to you saying they want to date someone they just met while also continuing their bdsm with you can be frustrating and is probably why MD is using bdsm as an excuse to show his frustration. I honestly think they both need to take a break from each other and work out their problems cause their relationship is no longer healthy if feelings are going to be involved in the play (chanwoos pride of not wanting to use the safe word and MDs feelings for chanwoo)
No, they are not right. Believe me. They are disregarding impact of abuse and excusing toxic behaviours.
But mixing emotions and grudge with play is unacceptable. It's both irresponsible and dangerous.
exactly!!! the people in the comments are excusing his abusive behavior with bdsm, saying “that’s what bdsm is”, but it’s not. I’m so tired of seeing uninformed or inexperienced people blame Chanwoo for not leaving when MD isn’t really giving him a choice emotionally.
MD is manipulating Chanwoo into doing things that are clearly uncomfortable to Chanwoo knowing he won’t say the safe word or leave; he’s no better than Chanwoo’s ex’s who abuse him. Under NO circumstance should you hit your partner, especially if they did not consent to it in the bdsm play. And no one is obligated to return your feelings.