IDK my "review" I guess

I think a lot of people started from not so smut heavy yaoi like sekaiichi hatsukoi, junjou romantica, ameiro paradox, hana wa saku ka, or yuuutsu na asa, etc. It's how i and some high school friends of mine started anyway

Omg... I feel so old reading coments like this, when I started it was with gravitation, loveless, sukisho.... Those were the hot ones!

My fujoshi journey started from bl anime, saw lovestage before I knew it was bl or anything about bl. I can't even say I enjoyed it, since I was too shocked. I watched a few more out of curiosity I guess. One was dakaichi, then when I was reading manga I saw some of the similar titles, but they were much more visually graphic than the anime, like dakaichi which is still one of my favorites. I think since I grew on the characters in the anime, I could then handle the more graphic stuff. Honestly now it's hard to find decent romances that aren't yaoi, the male/female ones are filled with a lot of angst and it takes Forever to get anywhere. Well shonen ai can be like that too, like 100 chapters of going in circles before they get to a confession. Where 100 chapters of yaoi usually includes marriage and kids, but even if not, its standard in yaoi for their to have been a lot of character and plot development. So yeah now I'm hooked, mainly from the storylines and faster plot developments. Though it took years to handle the graphics, when it got too raunchy I used to just read what they were saying while barely looking at the scene lol. So basically I used to read it in spite of the smut, but just got used to it, and tbh the sexiest part still isnt the sex but the looks on their faces, like in this one when the 'then' uke realized he wanted to take the seme for the first time, like ⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄

You.. exactly. The part where you explained how you handled the sex scenes is me exactly... I don't even know why I read it, like those scenes gave me trauma cuz they were so graphic. The first one that was like super grafic to me was Window To Window and i wasnt used to there being so much sex and then also it wasnt scensored and it was so detailed, younger me was shook... but I still read it for some reason?? But now I'm hooked on smut. It's kinda like a guilty pleasure?.. And yes I also like their faces nore than like the actual... stuff theyre doing? Idk... tho sometimes one of them has a weird face in a panel and I just caaan't with those I just laugh while theyre doin it. But does anyone else have like... a realisation while reading yaoi thats like.. wait... is this... is me reading this kinda weird like... wut would people think...? Or is thag just me having a moment of guilt cuz then I just shrug and continue.

Haha, yeah no totally been there. I read on my phone a lot even with other people around. Everyone knows I read manga, but not yaoi or smutty stuff. So it feels wierd sometimes, especially with all the kinky/bdsm random sex stuff I've learned, not really reading it for that, but it leaves an impression. I've had a few close calls where something will remind me of something from yaoi, and I want to make a joke or comment about it, and then realize, aw crap, that's not something I can say. So I guess it also feels wierd that I have this side no one knows about, didnt really have that before. I'm sure people would see me different if they found out, depending on the person, but I dont think I would tell someone unless they also read yaoi, because I would have no clue what their connotation to it would be. So I'm not really sure how wierd it would seem since I make a point to keep people from knowing about it. In some ways I guess that's part of what makes it a guilty pleasure ╮(￣▽￣)╭ it's a strange conflict. Oh and yeah some of the during sex faces are honestly silly. And window to window was like let's try every sex position in full color, haha, I could see some trauma from that

Yeah, I feel the same. No one knows about my "yaoi side" or whatever and I don't even have any friends who like at least watch anime or read manga all my friends think that kind of stuff is cringy or stupid so they don't even know I watch anime. I kinda want a friend that I can talk to about these things with but can't seem to make any friends from that circle. So I have mastered the skill of "conversing" with myself. Not in a weird way, I've just started comenting on yaoi outloud while I read it lol. And yeah the colour added some like.. realness to it.. (￣∇￣") But I've reread all of the" trauma inducing" ones and they really seem kinda vanilla to me now...

Baby, your path is not really uncommon to BL fans. Even i started with Toya and Yukito from Card captor Sakura and it was not even shounen ai. Their relationship was just Lime (Sublime). Then i got into Sekaichi Hatsukoi. As they say the rest is history. Slowly but surely i started to read some messed up but every BL no matter how fucked up is a BLESSING for this rotten girl.

I agree, it's definitely hard finding friends for it mainly cause it's hard to bring up, like some people will mock you for it, or get the wrong impression so its safe to not mention it. A few years ago I had a few friends who also watched which was awesome but I moved, and now it's back to square one ╮(￣▽￣)╭ I like reading the comments since it's nice seeing other people enjoy a similar hobby, and it seems a lot of users keep it lowkey in their personal lives as well. I feel like some things are only relatable to other fujoshi/danshi so it would be cool finding friends but bringing that up in real life would be panic inducing haha , like for real when I almost brought up omegaverse cause I saw the alpha/omega symbol, had a low key panic attack, some things you just cant unsay (￣∇￣") (also dont know why but the response didnt show up in my alerts, so my reply is a bit delayed (づ￣ ³￣)づ

Yea it really is hard to bring up.. I currently do have a couple of friends who watch anime and like, ship guys together so one time I mentioned that they should try reading yaoi or shounen ai and they said that its weird to read it and "too gay" ( I mean what does that even mean??). But luckily I only said they should try reading yaoi and didn't mention I read it so we never mentioned that again. But I do kinda want some friends to talk about it with? But as you've said how do you even bring that up irl? Some people do meet online and then become friends like that but I don't know how to do that and theres also a possibility that they'll be someone weird or something... So I like to read comments as well. Makes me feel like enjoying reading this isn't that weird and it's also fun to joke around with people in the comments. So I dream of a day that I can gets me sum yaoi friends~（/TДT)/ Also I had a simmilar experience during a math class and there was like an omega sign and I don't really remember what I said but my friends almost found out. Still get a shiver down my spine when I remember that... (￣∇￣")

I mentioned anime to some people I hadn't known for long and they were put off, like oh your one of 'those' people, lol, but if I mention it to people I've known for a while, they just seem surprised, like oh I didnt know normal people also like anime, it's seriously so wierd the connotation non anime people have towards anything related to it ╮(￣▽￣)╭ too gay, haha, in terms of reality most of it is unrealistic to gay couples tbh, if anything it's too graphic when starting out, but as you said that turns vanilla over time, though I dont know if that's good or bad (▰˘◡˘▰) now it only surprises me by how much stuff doesnt phase me anymore... And I've been so trained to be wary of online people I know what you mean. I want to have an online friend but I'm worried it could end up being some perv, even though we're talking about pervy stuff? Oh the irony. Online or irl it's still tough （￣へ￣）
Calculus was easier because I already had an alpha/omega connotation, I felt wierd having that in my head during class though (￣∇￣") like I'm sorry but I'll just never see it the same again

my 1st experience was 5 years ago I think, I was very young around 9yrs old or something, and I saw the classic Sekai ichi hatsukoi but at the same time I read a lot of smutty and heavy doujinshi, made from various works like kuruko no basket , and also many fanarts of shinjeki no kiyojin. I stopped for some little time and my parents saw all of my historic( that backlashed a lot on their reaction of me being part of the LGBTQIA+ community) which at the time had a loooooooot of messed up manga, mostly yaoi. I frequented another site, My reading manga, and still do, I think it has more variety and options. I really like yaoi, and have learned a lot about tropes and toxic representation but also a progress in how society has been dealing with other sexualities. I am very confused about sexuality and gender, but have been learning more with my friends, internet and professionals. I think mangas are a reflectiuon of the japanese culture somehow, and that it shows that they too get confused and mostly show, that displaying femminie characteristics has a direct relation with being passive or a bottom, excluding other types of people and reforcing stereo types that may not be the reallity.

Yes exactly it's like we've somehow trained ourselves to like...not be bothered or anything by most of it? Like everything seems just basic or vanilla now? Don't get me wrong sometimes even the super vanilla stuff seems super spicy? Like when reading shounen ai and you're like... 14 chapters in and they haven't even held hands and then they just like get a lil spicy and you're like hOT DAMN WHERE DID THIS COME FROM?! ヾ(☆▽☆) But normally it needs to be something seriously weird for me to be put off or be like.. whoa wait wait imma need a min...same goes for like for when u want the spicy but then the spicy ain't even spicy no more... u know? ╮(￣▽￣)╭
Like it needs to be some really hardcore stuff for me to think whooh they gettin into it damn calm down ma dudes? Like when reading smut I am totally unfazed, I'm just like.. stone face I don't move a muscle. But then when it's fluffy I explode and like do jump kicks?? And I get what you mean.. about meeting people online. You want someone who likes this pervy stuff but isn't actually grossly perverted themselves? Like.. someone who you can relate to and talk or joke about this with but they won't be like weird or gross about stuff? Also it's the same for me with my friends and anime. Some of them know I watch it but we have a silent agreement about not bringing it up or talking about it. So I just don't mention it and they're cool with it. Oh and I just remembered!!! Σ(っ°Д °;)っ
One time a play came out in our town called Alpha & Omega and I was like... wait bruh hol up what?? I did go check out what it was about and it was like a normal play about something and totally not omegaverse... but I was intigued for a second not gonna lie... (￣∇￣")

You said it perfectly, I be reading some shonen ai, and be all damn, that's steamier than hard core yaoi. Like they'll give a look or a touch and it just gives you chills
⁄(⁄ ⁄·⁄ω⁄·⁄ ⁄)⁄ but in a good way, lol, I just finished star x fanboy, it's got some moments, the squealing is legit, haha, I cannot read that one in public, because I cannot control my expression, makes you smile like an idiot, just cuteness overload mixed with sexy, idk I just can't, but yeah switch to a hardcore yaoi, and I'd look like I'm reading a weather forecast
（￣へ￣）
Do you ever have to switch to yaoi after reading shonen ai cause it feels lacking? Like the angst is no joke and you deal with all this build up and sexual tension and it ends with like maybe a kiss, maybe just me but I sometimes have to switch just so there is some closure in the relationship, not to mention bl's can take Forever to make progress while yaoi can be like 1 chapter and this ship is sailing (๑•ㅂ•)و✧ I tend to read ones that are 8.5 or higher rated also, I think this keeps the super wierd fetishes out, so everything else is game, but now they've got to be creative to keep things spicy, some of these scenarios, I'm just like, I cant imagine being the author coming up with this. They must be so desensitized

I saw some alpha/omega something in public and was legit like, are they allowed to advertise that in the open? And then realized I was a fujoshi (￣∇￣")

No joke, searching for friends in yaoi forums be like:
Looking for friends:
Must be non pervy interested in pervy
(Semi-pervy allowed when it comes to fangirling)

Yeah! I always switch to yaoi after the shounen ai because I just get sorta sad after reading so much angst and will they wont they shounen ai and then in the end they only kiss and it's like a "Maybe I like you maybe I don't we'll see where we go from here" and then BOOM its over!? I get seriously in my feels after that lol. So I switch to some smut thats like 7 chapters long and completed already. Those bitches be like "Hi I'm horny, you're horny, let's smash?" "Hell ye bro I needs me some smashin" And then they do da spicy (multiple times (▰˘◡˘▰)) start dating, fall in love and then just do da spicy some more. Sometimes theres a little angst but just a enough not to make you stressu depressu and worry too much about it.

And yeah the authors are making up some hardcore stuff in their head like whoa!!? How do you come up with this stuff? Like for the life of me I could not just make up some of these and then draw them?? Like these guys are on another lvl of horny sometimes.. Σ( ￣□￣||)

And yeah I also agree with you on the searching for yaoi friends thing. Like I always think ok what if I talk to someone online and then wanna be friends to talk about this but they end up being some creepy and weird person? Like as you said they have to like pervy but not be pervy. But also be pervy when it comes to the fangirling about the pervy? ╮(￣▽￣)╭
And I mean it's also hard to know if you'd get along with the person or agree on what you like cuz sometimes I like something and others are like nah too much for me and then I feel bad. And also theres a wide variety of people on here. Like some are like 11 and some can be like 40 years old? But you never know since everyones anonymous? I personally don't care how old someone is or abt their gender either like they can do what they want I won't say they can't read yaoi or shounen ai just because of their age or gender or sexuality or whatever. I mean some people do? Like once I saw a straight guy talk about how he liked to read yaoi and everyone said he was gay and was lying abiut being straight and I'm just like.. bruh what? No. He can do and like what he wants and it has nothing to do with sexuality?? And I mean why would you care? Though I do think it would be weird to talk to someone whos like a literal child about this? I mean I started to read this when I was 11 (though I only read shounen ai and kind of avoided yaoi but now I do think that I started to read this kind of stuff rlly early) but I wouldn't want to talk about this kind of stuff with little kids?(￣∇￣")

And yeah I can never look at alpha, beta and omega the same after discovering omegaverse... （/TДT)/

Omg I am so sorry how did I manage to write so much... (●￣(ｴ)￣●) Calm down me damn..

It's not just me then (๑•ㅂ•)و✧ the worst is when its shonen ai so they just dont show the scene, like you know they just got down, but we're just going to skip that section and leave you wondering who topped, or if they actually did anything past holding hands? Or when they have build up, build up, I'm like (⊙…⊙ ) then they end the chapter and start with them back in class, takes another half a chapter to find out what happened the night before
（￣へ￣）that's what omegaverse was invented for, like you need some mood? Naw you got some scent that will make everyone horny past reason for the next 5 ~ 80 chapter, so yeah, have fun. Which is funny since it's so ero but they also got so many cute kids out of it ╮(￣▽￣)╭ like howd that conversation play out? What's sexier than a guy getting ravished? Hmm, Σ( ￣□￣||) a guy getting ravished who can also get knocked up. And bam, omegaverse was created, lol
Some of those 6-7 chapter yaois I think are to recover from some of that shonen ai drama. I feel like you have to be a bit m to enjoy some of those story lines, like worse to worse for 100 chapters, and then a small ray of sunshine at the end, and then I'm left questioning why I spent so much emotion on it, and have to switch to yaoi to cheer up, like aw back to sex and some closure I feel revived ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~

True even within yaoi fans theres still judgement, like aw that's okay, oh no that too hardcore, a lot of omegaverse itself gets some shaming, so even saying your preferences can be nerve wracking. I dont really get that, like we all have preferences and we're reading fiction? So yeah whatever floats your boat, if your applying this in reality, that's a different conversation, but yeah I dont think people should be shamed for preferences
╮(￣▽￣)╭ I get the kid age though, like I'm cool if I can get along with someone, but I would hope to talk to someone closer to my age since it's usually more relatable, and I would feel bad talking to a little kid about some of this stuff, like I was watching very mellow anime at that age so it would be a bit awkward. I'm sometimes curious of someones age/gender but theres no way to actually confirm it, so I try not to pay to much attention to. This site definitely has a wide range too, I don't think theres really a standard user based on some of the answers to questions. I also think straight guys could like yaoi, like some of the stories have amazing plots, and it would be less awkward than when females are first reading it I think.
There are quite a few things I'll never see the same after omegaverse ╥﹏╥

Your cool ヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~ it's fun to talk about, plus if I get fangirling, sometimes my mouths gone before I realize it, lol, I can be quiet and then my otaku button gets hit, and I have to stop myself before everyone else is lost

Yea sometimes it's hard to keep the otaku to yourself, even around normal people (￣∇￣")

I had one guy ask all incredulously, you watch anime? I had been around my non normie friends before that so i forgot to filter myself, I was like, what you dont? And looked at him all wierd, it was pretty funny seeing him backtrack like he thought something was wrong with him, haha, good times

Really? When I forget to not talk about anime or like filter myself everyone always thinks I'm weird cuz they think anime is like... either hentai or pokemon ┑(￣Д ￣)┍
But I was in class once and one guy asked another guy the very popular question "Can he beat Goku tho" And I said "seriously?" really loudly by accident and then they asked me if I watch anime and I said yes and then I sometimes talked to them during class... tho then I once mentioned I watch free and they said 'ew does that mean you like yaoi' an I froze and didn't know what to say.. so yeah that was the end of that short lived friendship (￣∇￣")