Is love really that big of a thing?

Some people are effected by it more than others. My sister and I grew up in the same household but I care more about what others think and such

Lol.. Me too They don't care about me and I don't care about them either.

I get you but for me, it's more like I feel gross when people express love for me.

Maybe you're not use to it, neither do I. Even so, I can't express or care. But in my head I do understand they are my family. My best friend are close with their parents hugs and stuff, but me I- not. It's somehow long story.

Even I do feel somehow sad and angry when they ignore me and ever serious things I said they don't even listen as if I was just a nuisance. But I don't try to gain my parents love or enyting, more like I want to say away from them. But I cannot.
It's such a bad place like mangago to explain your feelings hahahahahhah.

I think you explained it perfectly. That's exactly what happens to me and people seem to think wanting someone to listen to you means you want love.

I grew up without love, my mother passed away from cancer when I was 11, & because I am female I was left to take care of my 2 younger brothers (they were 4 & 5), my father was heavily abusive with me and with my 3 brothers (I have 1 older brother, he was 12 back then).

When he remarried 7 months after my mom's death the things didn't change at all, they were worse, my stepmother treated us horribly and she used to told my father misleading things so he was even more abusive with us than before. He even broke 2 of my ribs when I was 15, because he didn't like the way I was cleaning the floor he started kicking me (I was cleaning baby food that he dropped while fighting with his wife)... Mentioning baby food, of course my stepmother and my father had more children, I have 2 half-sisters, they are treated like princesses, unlike us they have never even raised their voices towards them, so there is that (I love them, but is hard not to resent my father even more seeing how he is with them).

A lot of things happened in my home, that I wouldn't be able to write everything (cause this will turn into a whole book), but let me tell you that I indeed grew up eager of love, I wanted to be loved, I envied kids with healthy families, I envied my friends who had loving parents, I remember that I fought with a friend who called her mom a bitch just because her mom didn't let her pierce her eyebrow (we were 13-14), so she was talking trash about her (her mom was really sweet).

I grew up yearning the love that I never knew, now I don't want it anymore, but it had to happen so much things for me to think like this, I remember specially one day... The day that my father stopped hitting me, the day I hit him back... When I was 18, my stepmother stole the first movie that my little brother choose himself (I bought him the money with the money I earned from my part-time job, he was 11 back then), he was crying a lot in his room, so I went to take it back, she got so angry (she gave the movie to my half-sisters, cause they wanted it), so she told my father about this, he started throwing me to the floor in order to kick me and every time I stood back up he would throw me back again, I didn't know what possessed me, but the fifth time that I stood up I lifted my hand and slapped him really hard, I didn't knew what happened, it was like a reflex, when I came to my senses I noticed what I have done, everything was so quiet, his face was red and in his chest had deep scratches from my nails, he looked at me, went back to his own room, and didn't talk to me in a while, he has not physically harm me since then. In that moment I stopped wanting something I would never be able to have.

Reading your story, I wish you can have a place of peace. Sorry I can't help you. You are going to be okay. #Fighting

Omg you're stemom are evil bi@tch what a horrible father. I- I hope you are happy now, I wish I can give you a hug. I kinda feel like crying.

I don't have father he passed away when I was 7 months but not this bad. mother never remarried because she have to take care of us 4 children. But then something changed but I want her to be happy so I didn't do say enyting. How I feel about this and try not to care.

I’m glad that you made it through the cruelty and I hope that you continue to persevere as a person. I wish you happiness.

My father constantly undermines my mother and I on the basis that he used to provide for us when he was working. It made me realize that for me, people that hurt me without consideration for my feelings were not needed in my life.

I'm sure you will find your own happiness as well. Stay strong

Thanks. You too.

Don't worry, it's okay, I'm used to it. Thank you so much for your beautiful wishes. Thank you so much

Please don't cry, I'm really used to this, for me now it's just normal... I'm just waiting for my brothers to be old enough so can they defend themselves, I can't leave them alone with them... One of them has AS (Asperger syndrome), so he needs me...

I hope you can be happy too I'm sure you mom loves you, you don't have to hide everything that you feel, sometimes talking to her and saying that you really love her will take a burden out of your beautiful heart, but that's for you to decide because I don't know all the details... I just hope that you can be really happy someday!

I understand what you went through, my mom died from cancer, but my father was abusive with her too, he believed that because he was providing for us (financially) he could do whatever he wanted we us, my mom always tried to defend us, so she always ended up getting hurt... I agree with you so much, people who hurt you and don't care about your feelings are not needed in your life, I also don't need them in mine.

Thank you so much for you beautiful wishes. I also hope that you can find your own happiness, also your mom, I wish you both so much happiness, you deserve it, you don't deserve bad people like that in your lives. We need to be strong...