The way I understand it (and experience it myself) is that it's all the more romantic if the love depicted is so strong that it can overcome even sexuality. I've actually met a couple of people claiming not to be gay except for their partner, so does seem to happen in real life to some extent, although I agree that it's very prevalent in BL, likely for the above-mentioned reason.
I guess that makes sense actually even if its a bit unrealistic, but it does happen lmao I just dont see the appeal in that but it does make it a bit more romantic in a silly way haha
I kind of love it since it's super cheesy and I love everything cheesy. I think you can find a lot of stories in which the characters are gay from the get go if you look around though. On the other hand, the only specific story I can recall off the top of my head is Kazoku Ni Narouyo, which is less about the relationship and more about two gay guys having a baby yeeted at them.
why are there so little actual gay characters in bl?? like im not talking about characters that dont care about gender or whatever but when theres a dude so obviously gay like yh im straight i just want this guy to fuck me...in reality theres no such straight person who would do that so why in fiction? do writers just find it a turn off for their characters to be gay or sumn, i get it can be jokes like haha no homo but like whats the deal with that? most ppl arent even in denial at first or sumn they can be in a relationship with a dude for 10 years and still insist on it wtf