I actually think that in a relationship it's important to voice your needs. If Woo-In told Suk-Yun what was bothering him Suk-Yun would have opened up more. Communication is the sign of a mature relationship. It's ok to breakup with someone over differences or for any reason really but I find it hard to label Woo-In's actions as mature if he can't even speak up to defend his relationship
I agree with you up to a point but I don’t think he was being controlling
i don’t agree. he could have expressed his feelings before deciding that the seme was this awful person. everyone has their own struggles and you wouldn’t know their reasons without communication. everyone has a right to date who they want to date, and if the uke couldn’t deal with the alarms and wanted to break up that’s fine. what annoys me is how he is holding a grudge and came to the conclusion that the seme is the awful, manipulative person over something so small as alarms? it’s not like he cheated or lied or anything of that sort.
It all depends on how much you are willing to put up with I suppose. Think about it, if your friend told you that their partner was literally timing their time together down to the second, wouldn't let them over to their house, and would not talk about their past--would you tell them that is healthy or unhealthy behavior? Personally I would tell them their partner is too closed off and controlling, and those behaviors are red flags. Good people can be controlling without meaning too be. That is why mental health is so hard--it makes you do things you don't want to do--like mistreat your partner. Controlling behavior is not always something big and obvious like your partner yelling at you to never leave the house, sometimes it is setting a timer. Just my opinion based on personal experiences tho :)
Hey thanks for sharing! Maybe I should re-read? But I don't think the uke ever hated the seme. He never said anything about the seme being manipulative or awful, just that he got stressed from the constant secrets and grew resentful of being ignored without explanation. He was constantly sidelined without explanation by the seme. So he decided he didn't want to get more resentful and ended the relationship. You don't have to have something terrible happen to you like being cheated on in order to justify ending a relationship. If you are unhappy, then you're unhappy and that is reason enough.
And honestly, I don't think the alarms were a small thing at all. The alarms dictated when they could eat together, when they could have sex together, when they could see each other. If the uke so much as SUGGESTED they go over the seme's place--the seme glowered into the distance. That is pretty "YIKES" mistreatment in my book. If one of my friends was being treated like that--I'd be like "WTF, this dude is whack". All to often, victims normalize their mistreatment by saying "Well they didn't do this...or they didn't cheat..." (and I'm not saying the uke is a victim, nor the seme an abuser, I'm just explaining why I don't agree with that logic of thinking) Extremes should not dictate a relationship, people shouldn't trap themselves in relationships if they're unhappy because that will lead to hate (though again, I personally found the alarms to be pretty extreme).
And honestly (please correct me if I'm wrong), there is only like scene where for like a milisecond the uke gloats because the seme is a hot mess and he stops pretty quick. And again, it isn't unreasonable for him to be a little jaded because the seme did not treat him pretty poorly. Everyone is attacking the uke for perfectly reasonable behavior. As for the "the uke should have expressed himself" argument, well true. I agree with you there LOL XD. But here is the thing that nobody is acknowledging--the seme already knows.
He knows that the ukes is upset over the alarms, you can tell from his reactions. He knows, but he isn't ready to explain and therefore isn't ready for a relationship. Sad but true.
The seme is also smart enough to know that timing when you can have sex with your partner is not cool bro. ╮(￣▽￣)╭ He also refused to acknowledge it and expected that the uke would just obeying the alarms without explanation, which is very unreasonable behavior. Again, not his fault because he is traumatized and he is a sweet cinnamon roll who should be protected, but all he had to do was explain why. And you could say--"well the uke didn't ask" buuuuuttt come on...lets be honest...it is pretty obvious that you have to explain why you have to ~mysteriously~ leave during sex and that ~angrily staring~ into the distance when your partner wants to come over isn't cool. It is clear that if the uke asked, the seme would have just evaded the question. I don't get why everybody is crucifying the uke for not expressing his feelings but nobody is addressing the fact that the seme literally would not explain anything. Sorry for the long reply, I've got nothing going on in quarantine lol. This is just my opinion, btw. No hate! :)
Thanks for sharing! Here is the thing, Suk-Yun knows that Woo-In is bothered by the alarms and his behavior. You can tell from his reactions that he is aware, and Woo-In knows that Suk-Yun knows. It isn't like Suk-Yun isn't aware that timing when you can have sex with your partner, when you can eat with your partner, and when you can see your partner is not good behavior. We know he knows because he apologizes for it, but he won't explain it or try and compromise.
He won't/can't communicate, and it isn't Woo-In's job to make him open up if he doesn't want too. It isn't Suk-Yun's fault, but it's how it is.
If Woo-In really cared, I agree he would try harder to talk about their issues. But, bluntly speaking, I don't think Woo-In is 100% in love with Suk-Yun. Maybe like 55% in love and 45% horny. So if he isn't in love, he doesn't have much a reason to fight to keep the relationship. ╮(￣▽￣)╭
If you think about it, Woo-In doesn't have much a reason to be invested in somebody who he knows nothing about. Furthermore, if you look at the way the author frames Suk-Yun from Woo-In's perspective in the first couple chapters, you can see how Suk-Yun seemed to flip flop from warm (lovingly embracing him) to icy cold (silently glaring when Woo-In suggested they spent time at Suk-Yun's place). All Woo-In knows is that Suk-Yun is sometimes darkly moody, controlling, and secretive. Personally, that isn't somebody I would want to fight to be in a relationship with. So he decided to move on before he got too invested. Sometimes letting things go is the best thing you can do to avoid a potentially bad relationship. If you don't think that is mature then that is perfectly fine, but I respect Woo-In for it. He recognized a potentially bad situation and decided to end it. And when he saw nothing had changed, he decided to nip it in the bud. As the readers we know it would have been worth it for Woo-In to try harder but he doesn't know that.
Sorry for the long reply!
Woo-in didn’t even try to understand him, never asked him about anything, knew little about him and didn’t even notice the bags under his eyes. Yes, letting go would be the best option if he’d already tried to understand him. I’m justifying the seme’s actions but woo-in isn’t any better either. Relationships in reality have ups and downs, it’s not always perfect and trying to understand your partner and mutual understanding is also important. If woo-in doesn’t try the slightest to understand why his partner behaves like this, perhaps he’s not ready for a relationship either
Plus, I don’t like the fact that you keep describing him as “controlling”. I don’t see how he was being controlling. If you mean the timing thing, Woo-in didn’t even try to ask so I wouldn’t call him controlling. He didn’t even know anything about the seme’s past. How do you even call that a relationship? He knew nothing about him and wasn’t interested in knowing him, either
Yeah sure
If you don't think that behavior is controlling that is fine! However, I would categorize it as controlling, and bottom line is that Woo-In did not like it. I also don't mean it in a negative or attacking way, Suk-Yun is not a bad person for being controlling of his relationship. He is clearly suffering from an obsessive disorder, which is not his fault, but his obsession with perfection and control effected his relationship--which sucks. Mental health makes good people do harmful behavior. The fact of the matter is, if you time when you have sex or eat with your partner--then you are controlling the relationship. I'd label that controlling, you would not. Totally fine~ Although I don't get why you don't think it's not controlling just because Woo-In didn't protest obviously bad behavior? If someone is flicking you, but you only look uncomfortable and don't say stop, then it doesn't change the fact they shouldn't be flicking you and it is obvious you are uncomfortable. Obvious bad behavior is obvious. Suk-Yun knew what he was doing wasn't good and that is proof enough that it was bad behavior.
And Woo-In did show interest in Suk-Yun! He tried to suggest going over to Suk-Yun's place and Suk-Yun got mad so Woo-In didn't ask anything further. By your logic, I could easily say Suk-Yun doesn't care about Woo-In because we don't see him asking about Woo-In's past either. I could easily say "Suk-Yun didn't know anything about Woo-In's past and clearly wasn't interested in knowing. He should have asked why Woo-In wanted to break up and seen how uncomfortable Woo-In was by the timers but he didn't care so he just continued acting however he wanted. Not very mature if you ask me."
Also I COMPLETELY agree! It wasn't it much of a relationship at all! I thought I said that...maybe that was a different comment...I'm can't believe I'm investing this much time into this LOL ╮(￣▽￣)╭. Anyways, that is exactly why Woo-In left! There was no real connection, so why stay? Falling in love takes time and Woo-In never got to the point where he was in love. So he yeeted away.
I don't think Woo-In at fault just because he did not protest obviously bad behavior. If my friend told me, "The person I'm seeing is making me feel uncomfortable, he timing when we have sex. He gets mad when I want to come over. I just don't think it's worth it to keep seeing him." Then I wouldn't tell them "No, you should try and figure out why before you decide to leave!" I would encourage them to ask try and talk it out, but if they don't like the person enough to want to try and fix things, then I'd support their choice. I think people have a right to leave weak relationships if they feel uncomfortable or unhappy; however, if it is an important relationship they should try and work on it. I also don't people have to investigate why they are being treated poorly if they are being treated poorly by someone they don't care much about. Now, if you love somebody then you'll try and talk things out, and you're pretty immature if you just leave without asking why a good relationship has suddenly changed. But it's not like they have been together for years. They were barely dating, and the "relationship" had been strained and shrouded in secrets from the beginning.
Again, Woo-In did not handle the situation that well, but recipients of mistreatment should not be criticized just because they decide they'd rather leave than trying and figure out their partners behaviors. Heck, I wish he asked! It's frustrating he didn't!! ヽ(`Д´)ﾉ
But I get why.
Woo-In wanted Suk-Yun to care enough about him to explain on his own (which isn't very mature, I'll admit), but that was impossible for Suk-Yun. Not being invested doesn't make Woo-In a bad person anymore than Suk-Yun is a bad person for timing their relationship. But that's just what I think (●'◡'●)ﾉ
Honestly the 4 dislikes can go fuck themselves. Self love is important before anything else
I don't get the uke hate. I literally love both of them so much and this story is golden.
If the seme isn't ready to emotionally open up then he is not ready to be in a relationship. The End.
The uke is literally just like "I don't want to be in a toxic relationship where my time with my partner is controlled to the second and my partner hides things from me."
And some of ya'll are like: "IF YOU DON'T GO BACK AND FIX HIM RIGHT NOW SO I CAN SELF-INSERT MY FANTASY OF SAVING BROKEN HOT MEN IMMA KILL YOU!!!"
In reality, if you try and "save" a person with mental health issues who isn't ready to grow they you'll likely just end up enabling their behavior. They have to be willing to change in order to grow. Love does not "save" ppl who are unwilling to change; it can only stimulate the growth of somebody ready to heal. The seme is not ready for a relationship (YET!).
It isn't the seme's fault he is mentally struggling, but that is no excuse to control your partner. It isn't the uke's job to "find out why he is suffering" because the seme doesn't want him to know why. Pushing ppl with mental health issues to open up against their will so that you can have the satisfaction of "fixing them" is NOT cool. It is important for the seme to be the one to initiate opening up--not the uke--because it has to be his choice to want to grow past his trauma.
The uke recognizes the seme is hiding things from him, and (very intelligently) decides it is not a relationship he wants to invest in. He ends it, rather than dragging it out in a way that will just hurt them both. The uke wants somebody who will share with him. His choice makes me like him more because, it shows how he isn't just superficially being with the seme just because the seme is handsome and successful. He is looking for an emotional connection beyond the superficial. I cannot emphasis enough how this is not selfish but actually a healthy choice made by someone with self-respect.
Yes, it is tragic but the uke isn't a reward for the seme's suffering. Yes, the uke could do more to try and help the seme--but I am glad he isn't. He is kind of a low-key bad ass. He is socially waaaaaaaayy below the seme. He was shown to be self-conscious and then had to suffer the blow of literally cleaning the trash of his ex (suuucch a nightmare scenario). Yet he still has the self-respect to be like "Yeah, I'll clean your trash but I don't deserve to be controlled and lied too". So many ukes are willing to put up with abusive relationship because "wow, I can't believe this hot, rich, and successful man wants to make me his fleshlightヾ(❀╹◡╹)ﾉ~" (Tho I still read those because--plot twist--the real trash that needs to be cleaned was me the whole time)
This is a mature depiction of overcoming mental health and how it can affect relationships. Plus, it has an independent uke who isn't just a reward for the seme. AKA, that good shite. ლ(´ڡ`ლ)