Theory why SH has been suffering

bebebisous33 April 11, 2020 8:56 pm

It has to do with the purgery that happened many years ago. Every family around Yoon family got punished. In my opinion, at that time, the father asked his eldest son to take the blame in order to divert attention. In the beginning there is this rumor that SH was chased away from the family after his father cut off his son's topknot which is a grave humiliation. He was punished by his father for sodomy. That's why SH told his younger brother that he is living by his father's principle. SH might not have been a sodomite from that start but was forced by his father to be one. This would explain why he doesn't hide anything... On the other hand, it looks like SH had problems with it (SH gets replenishing medicine). Jihwa even said that he had to prepare him before he could get aroused. Only with the paintings he didn't need help anymore.

All this would explain why
1. SH is actually an educated and intelligent lord (he has a lot of books in his library and he read them all, he could recognize the lact of talents of Jung In Hun.
2. he is resenting his father. Due to his father's action, he couldn't enter any function in the administration and had to take the blame in order to save his father's reputation and family.
Let us not forget that all the servants were replaced, after he left his father's house. And this shows that the father was somehow involved in the conspiracy and they erased every single trace.

Maybe he had to witness all the killings and was only able to save one servant. SH has mood swings and he has trouble to sleep which means that he must have suffered a lot in his past. Imagine if SH's reputation as sodomist was created by his father...

Responses
    U〰U April 7, 2020 4:33 pm

    Wow this makes a lot of sense actually nice analysis
    You deserve more

    Camoy_05 April 7, 2020 6:13 pm

    Wow that makes everything more clear :0! Thanks

    bebebisous33 April 7, 2020 6:24 pm
    Wow this makes a lot of sense actually nice analysis You deserve more U〰U

    Thanks for the compliment!!(▰˘◡˘▰) I would like to add why SH was so moved by BNK's paintings in the first place. He could see not only the sensuality but also the
    beauty, the warmth and love in them. His paintings don't show just positions and in my opinion, the sexual act in the painting has a different meaning, a sign of love. Furthermore, NK pays a lot attention to the eyes and facial expressions which caught SH's eyes. If my theory is true, then with these paintings sodomy was no longer a scandal. something terrible. And it affected SH giving him a different meaning to his sexual life.

    And when NK kissed SH for the first time, it was a kiss out of love... although NK made the mistake to think that it was the hypocritical In Hun. Imagine SH's surprise as for him, sodomy was just sex and nothing more. He must have felt the difference... that's why he was impatient to do it again and was so mad that NK had forgotten it.

    후후 April 7, 2020 6:25 pm

    Sorry! I didn't mean to downvote! Your theory is well analyzed. This answers a lot of question regarding his background. If ever this was proven, I wouldn't be surprised.

    bebebisous33 April 7, 2020 6:33 pm
    Sorry! I didn't mean to downvote! Your theory is well analyzed. This answers a lot of question regarding his background. If ever this was proven, I wouldn't be surprised. 후후

    It is okay, especially if you like my theory. I do think that SH has started loving NK without realizing it... his servant is definitely helping SH in this matter (the medicine, the help at the shop). As for NK, I believe that he has realized the hypocrisy of the teacher. First, he lied twice to In Hun and protected SH and in the last episode RAW, he was upset with In Hun's words and painting hence he slept with SH.

    Camoy_05 April 7, 2020 6:36 pm
    It is okay, especially if you like my theory. I do think that SH has started loving NK without realizing it... his servant is definitely helping SH in this matter (the medicine, the help at the shop). As for NK... bebebisous33

    You’re way too intelligent Σ(  ̄□ ̄||)

    후후 April 7, 2020 7:11 pm
    It is okay, especially if you like my theory. I do think that SH has started loving NK without realizing it... his servant is definitely helping SH in this matter (the medicine, the help at the shop). As for NK... bebebisous33

    This is a fact, hence he beg for SH to embrace him because he doesn't want to do stuff for the learned sir at this point knowing he was only using him to his advantage without security that he might get something in return and that all his efforts all for naught.

    bebebisous33 April 7, 2020 7:21 pm
    You’re way too intelligent Σ(  ̄□ ̄||) Camoy_05

    Thanks but I don't think so... I only came to this idea after reading this story for the third time from the start and this time, I decided to pay more attention to the details.
    SH's knowledge didn't catch my attention first due to his violent side. I knew that he was smart but he is definitely a literate person. He realized that In Hun had somehow copied a poem from a famous poet, with some little changes... In Hun definitely underestimates SH in many ways as he relies a lot on the appearance and the rumors.
    I really hope to see In Hun's downfall as he is someone who actually has no conscience. It would be great if NK learnt from SH so that NK could prove In Hun wrong with this idea. Low-born should remain where they are.

    Cookies April 8, 2020 1:54 am

    Wow, that's actually a pretty awesome theory!!!

    Fraiser April 8, 2020 5:27 am

    Shit, that's good!

    DoopDoop April 9, 2020 4:19 am

    Just found this but I need to absorb this and reread before commenting. Will do so tomorrow.

    Spoilers - This is truly amazing - I think I have been focusing too much on the fun stuff but still I don't think I could see that far into the story. Very impressive take. It is different and unexpected yet it is also twisted and deep, which is the author's way.

    All I saw was relying on the story we were already told which was a betrayal based on Seungho's homosexuality, not that SH's homosexuality was imposed on him.

    bebebisous33 April 9, 2020 5:18 am
    Just found this but I need to absorb this and reread before commenting. Will do so tomorrow.Spoilers - This is truly amazing - I think I have been focusing too much on the fun stuff but still I don't think I co... DoopDoop

    Glad that you found it... ヾ(☆▽☆)Looking forward for your comment. (●'◡'●)ノ Like I said, I only came to this idea after reading it for the third time. From the beginning, we were all too focused on the smut and the violent side of SH.

    DoopDoop April 10, 2020 8:06 pm
    Glad that you found it... ヾ(☆▽☆)Looking forward for your comment. (●'◡'●)ノ Like I said, I only came to this idea after reading it for the third time. From the beginning, we were all too focuse... bebebisous33

    I agree (that smut is so good though)

    Still what you have come up with here is truly outstanding. It lends the story that unexpected but still heart wrenching twist without relying on old, common tropes. I was so wrapped up in SH's homosexuality being a part of him that I don't think I would have come up with this no matter how many times I read the story.

    This betrayal hits all the right spots. A father sacrifices his eldest son in either a desperate attempt to protect his family, or in a worst case scenario, in a grasp for further power gone horribly wrong. The son is not only dragged through the mud publicly and subjected to great humiliation and abandonment but he has to bear witness to atrocities occurring in what could only be compared to war times. But SH also has his future as the Yoon heir stripped away, and his promising political career for which he invested and to this day, continues to invest in (I don't think those books are just gathering dust - I think SH is deeply intellectual) destroyed. Also wasn't it noted that the last Yoon to hold office was SH's grandfather? So it could be that SH's father was more of a schemer and therefore his efforts to protect his family could be the outcome of failure on his part and SH's sacrifice was even more worthless? Sacrificing yourself for your entire family even against your will could give you even a small amount of consolation after the wound of the betrayal started healing. So unless you weren't aware of that you were saving your clan and SH, no matter how hurt or self-centered or traumatized would have understood it as that in later years. But there is nothing coming from SH in regards to his father but deep seeded anger.

    And even if SH is following his father's commands to this day to show what a immoral sodomite he is, is he still being used for his ingrained loyalty to the Yoons? Or is he just playing the part he was cast aside for while ramping up the debauchery in order to lash out at the Elder Yoon?

    Your theory also works really well because of SH's age at the time. Seungho looks to be 24-26 years old, even if he is now thirty, living as the future lord of the Yoon family must have provided him with an exceptional life (somehow I don't the feeling that he was abused) and I see him as someone that may have been idealistic to a certain degree. So this type of betrayal didn't just kill his hopes and dreams but his identity as a proud member of the Yoon family. His nobility became meaningless.

    Now SH doesn't seem wrapped up in self hatred or despondent to nobles. But he doesn't let them get close. I don't see friends among SH's nobles, just people he sleeps with and perhaps can find other uses for. This fits the emptiness of his lifestyle really well based on your assessment but it can also mean that he is surrounded by a class that he no longer feels comfortable opening up to if his own father was able to use his own son as way to escape the consequences of what he did.

    He adopts a glib attitude and appears undisturbed by what others think of him because he may be walking around numb. No wonder he has difficulties performing under these circumstances.

    And along comes Nakyum. Since his appearance, SH has been excited about him. When they first meet, SH is delighted when he confirms NK's name as the painter he has been searching for and I do not think it was just because SH was fangirling NK's paintings. I think he felt an immediate attraction to NK (not love at first sight, just attraction).

    Real quick insert here: if SH's father killed all his previous servants (which would make sense as abominable as that sounds - Dead servants=no talkie, talkie) not just his enemies and SH somehow saved the kindly servant that would go a long way to explain that man's devotion and staid fastness to SH. I mean all the other servants may be begrudgingly loyal to SH as their master or out of fear but that older servant is always trying to ease SH's way even at the risk of backlash from him.



    Now, I agree with your assessment of the importance of NK's paintings to SH.
    There has always been a marked difference between NK's paintings and the prints in fashion at the time. It is like you can feel the artist's distaste at having to paint such scenes and they are just following a pattern to line their pockets. They read like manuals on how-to's and are highly stylized to remove the sensuality but not the lewdness of the acts displayed. Nakyum's paintings capture beautiful and passionate moments, it shows the persons in it not a stamp or caricature. It isn't made to satisfy a "perversion" or for it to just be ogled at for the act. Also, when NK is painting for SH his paintings are laced with HIS sexual awakening and budding desires for SH. The exhibition of SH's exploits to NK allow for his repressed feelings to surface and NK starts seeing SH in his fantasies because of the beauty, sensuality and lack of shame SH displays.

    Soon SH is being enraptured by NK's responses and looks forward to them in his art becoming more and more excited about NK. NK's paintings become unintentional love letters and SH quickly becomes addicted to them.

    All these pent-up feelings don't come to a head until the night NK was drunk. It was the illusion of love that night that brought SH to all the decisions we have witnessed since. I think he would have tried to seduced NK at some point. He had started to passively veer in that direction but...that night all their guards were down. And one thing you have to give NK is that his guard is hard to overcome. If SH had kept pushing NK, if this night had not happened, the outcome would have been quite different I think.

    I really believe something like the rape in the pavilion would not have happened because even if SH had coerced NK to sleep with him (if their first night had not occurred) the experience would have been quite different and SH would have been left with a bad taste in his mouth. I think if it had happened this way it would have killed the beginnings of whatever NK was inspiring in him. Instead that drunken night, SH tasted the sweetest honey and he desperately wanted to taste it again.

    After the pavilion, things spiraled out of Seungho's control with disastrous outcomes that at the same time served as a way for SH to see that NK was important to him. Through all the damage he did to NK, SH had to ride another emotional rollercoaster. He started questioning his emotions, actions and reactions to anything NK/IH related and he became more introspective.

    Despite all we seen, I don't get the sense that SH is cruel. He is callous which is to be expected.

    But even though he was questioning himself he kept wanting that moment lost in NK's memory and through disappointment and jealousy he reverted back to the role he has been playing for years: the villain.

    But it wasn't the same. He couldn't ignore his feelings of guilt or hold on to the emptiness of his lifestyle because every time he looked at NK he was moved or bothered by NK's tears. You can see how foreign this territory is to him as he attempted to make amends to NK and faced the consequences of what he had done in the pavilion when he returned to him at the bath. Even in the grips of his mood swings (which appear to have stabilized for sometime now) which add to how dangerous SH can become he tried to fix it. I don't get the sense that was thing before.

    But rounding back to your theory of the origins of SH's suffering, it fits perfectly with a story that gives you what you want but not how you wanted it or how you expected it.
    There are so many instances when we saw something coming or wanted something to happen and we got it but the way it was presented was a let down, or didn't follow the usual tropes or like NK's rape: presented fully as the violent, ugly act it was, for us to take as we see fit but waking up the perpetrator from his trance and it now has him looking for ways to make amends. So it would be fitting that what was done to SH was so out there we couldn't see it coming either.

    I am not going to re-read this over and over again but I don't think I would be able to see this if you had not put it there. You don't give yourself enough credit. This theory is simply brilliant. Makes me root for it to be endgame.



    The author didn't dismiss NK's rape by SH. It was presented as a full on brutal rape that cannot be subject to other interpretations. But she also showed us SH's realization of what he had done

    bebebisous33 April 10, 2020 8:49 pm
    I agree (that smut is so good though)Still what you have come up with here is truly outstanding. It lends the story that unexpected but still heart wrenching twist without relying on old, common tropes. I was s... DoopDoop

    Thanks a lot for the compliment. (▰˘◡˘▰)Your comment was well written as well.
    ヾ(☆▽☆)

    Yes, the rape happened because while SH was longing for another love session, he was upset that NK showed the opposite reaction. For the first time, Seungho was able to feel warmth and love, something he had lost for a long time, then NK showed disgust. I can understand his reaction... especially if we keep this theory in our mind. SH just snapped as he was reminded of his own past himself. He wasn't attracted to men before.

    Now, I have been thinking that BNK might be the trigger for Seungho to stop living in the shadow of his family. Remember that the younger brother asked SH to visit the father because he was sick. Asking for SH, this could mean that SH has been forgiven by his father officially... while in reality, the father wants to put an end to this "scandal" and have him returned so that his family can now try to return to the palace and take a high position. Time has passed on and people have already forgotten about the purgery. This reputation as homosexual is no longer needed, especially when there are now rumors circulating that Yoon family is in declining. And this is no coincidence that the brother showed around that time.

    However, since SH was stigmatized as sodomiste, the father might have asked that SH support his brother for the next official appointment. Later, we saw SH's servant giving a letter to the younger brother which made him smile.

    I had this idea that Seungho might decide to become himself an official at some point in order to show NK his own abilities: he is also a learned sir, he is educated and can do something important. However, this is not what the father wanted to happen. He wanted his younger son to have the appointment.

    Furthermore, we don't know if SH's mother, who could have been related to a family involved in the conspiracy due to Yoon's father, was repudiated by her husband and killed herself after her family was arrested. I have seen something similar, where the husband repudiates the wife of the son, after the wife's family is arrested for treason. This could have happened to SH's mother... After this, SH's father could have chosen a concubine to become the new wife so that her son becomes a different status. I am somehow expecting some rivalry and tension between SH and his brother, especially with the scene where In Hun saw the brother's visit. I have the feeling that In Hun might ask for the brother's support and act as spy for him...

    As conclusion, I do think that NK could be the trigger for SH to turn his life around decides to no longer obey his father's "advice" as he never took SH's interest into consideration. Furthermore, the more SH spends time with NK, the more our master will distance himself from his "fuck" bodies. By helping NK in his career as painter and by becoming an official, SH could definitely earn NK's love... NK has always been attracted to educated men, see In Hun for example. First, NK saw the bad side of SH, but little by little NK has been able to see that SH wasn't all that bad. Actually, he was moved by SH's vulnerability: the shaking hand, when his brother visited him and the terrible nightmare during the night. He saw that SH was longing for comfort. If SH gets "hurt" a little, NK will definitely be upset as SH has always shown his strong and confident side.

    Let me know what you think about this possible evolution.

    DoopDoop April 11, 2020 12:16 am
    Thanks a lot for the compliment. (▰˘◡˘▰)Your comment was well written as well. ヾ(☆▽☆)Yes, the rape happened because while SH was longing for another love session, he was upset that NK showed the... bebebisous33

    I think NK reminds SH of the things that used to be important to him but were abandoned as futile since he was thrown to the wolves. It really raised his heckles when NK threw his public image in his face when he defended the then unknown Inhun. And I never got the sense that it was just because he was attracted to NK (this was very early on). But that not only SH but his knowledge of such things like the poet and his work were called into question. NK has definitely created a meaning for his life. At least, he has someone he wants by his side looking at how he lives his life and throwing in his face a false idol that cannot compare to him. So his pride is being tested.

    After Inhun expressed himself so vilely about his students and people in their social class in front of his would-be benefactor, SH not only got a full picture of who IH was but he his heckles were raised again. This time it seemed SH didn't only get offended for NK's sake. He truly found IH's comments distasteful. But why should he since he is a noble and there for what IH said should ring true? That was one of the hints I got that SH was much deeper than what he seemed.

    SH entertains "friends" that follow his current pursuits so it would be odd for him to have a book collection of that size merely for show. I am guessing these were the items he brought or kept with him and added on to from when the household move (I think his family left the area).

    It would be interesting to see if SH can overcome his reputation to get what he wants out of sheer will. But this story has a lot of foundation that needs to be laid specially if they do layer it with court intrigue and family/nobility politics, so there may be connections formed later that would help him move forward. I don't see any connections now behind the scenes because for this "will" to lift himself from his family's shadow would be pushed by NK's influence and his growing worth in SH's eyes which has just recently taken hold of him.

    I also read another comment from you which included NK raise through his own work and with SH's patronage. This could also be build within this arc of NK's education.

    I didn't think the brother's appearance was some cutesy or romantic addition to the ongoing plot because it just isn't that kind of story. Right now we had a very narrow view of SH & NK's world and I get a feeling that that world is about to expand. Maybe that image Byeonduck created of NK laughing in a snowy day with SH hugging him wasn't just cute merch. It might show travel.

    Seungho's brother has a lot to lose if SH is brought back, even if SH is just been used to raise him up. SH has grudges he holds and is a fully grown man who has lived outside of their influence and with little respect for them for quite sometime. There can not a legitimate expectation that he will allow himself to be used further or that he won't lash out and be troublesome for them. I don't think his father would be unaware of SH's intelligence and he has seen the lengths he is willing to go to drag their name through the mud. SH wasn't just a sodomite but he was the most debauched (at least publicly) and notoriously well-known one. This wasn't based on rumor either but because he did the things that were being talked about. That's a lot of commitment.

    Can they compel him financially? Maybe. But the question is: to the extreme he took it to?

    I don't know, I would worry about bringing a viper home.

    bebebisous33 April 11, 2020 5:16 am
    I think NK reminds SH of the things that used to be important to him but were abandoned as futile since he was thrown to the wolves. It really raised his heckles when NK threw his public image in his face when ... DoopDoop

    The notorious hell-raiser did everything to get even with his family... that's why he has such a bad reputation. He made sure that his father would feel ashamed. But there are two clues that SH hasn't been inactive all these years. Like you pointed out, the existence of his huge library in his courtyard... but also the created intelligence network. Remember that Yoon Seungho was able to dig every info about Baek Na-Kyum and although the servant was killed, right after he sent another man to dig every info about the teacher Jung In Hun. If we compare this to In Hun trying to dig some info about Yoon and a possible weakness, we can observe the huge difference. Seungho has been able to have different ways to get info... hence I can imagine that the murder attempt will be discovered really quickly. Anyway, the way he gathers info and the existence of the library are clues that Yoon might have never given up to make a come back and the debauchery was just a facade. However, I agree that due to his father's past actions, I can not imagine that Seungho would accept any request from his father. Maybe his driven motivation was his grandfather who seems to have been famous.