Chap41 thought

ERomantica March 29, 2020 3:01 pm

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.I just can't understand NK anymore. He claims to "pine for" and "like" the teacher, yet ever since he woke up from his rape-to-exhaustion-bed-ridden comma he has been doing the opposite. Lying, then letting himself be touched without even raising any objections, and even begging for a hug after being slapped from THE one who basically ruined his relationship... (〜 ̄△ ̄)〜.

I get that he has an underlying desire for sodomy, but still i just can't stand how he throws away his self-respect to beg for comfort from someone who basically abuses him every chance he gets. Since when he changed from crying, resenting, and sulking for 2 days for his loss of virginity to this desperate, pathetic human being? After being abused he suddenly has the hot for the one who abused him? What triggers this change? I thought he just put up with it for the sake of his beloved teacher, but apparently that's not the case. I feel so enraged I can't even. I guess he is not the loyal type but a masochist who would fall for whoever could fulfill his subconscious sexual desire.

Responses
    Dodi March 29, 2020 11:06 am

    No, he asked Seungho to hold him as to have sex with him, and I believe it's because he needs a distraction. If you remember, when Nakyum is sad and heartbroken he would always drink. Also in same chapter, I believe it was said that Nakyum skipped his meals the whole day to keep drwaing, but that kind of distraction wasn't helping much.

    I'm not entirely disagreeing with you, because in some chapters, Nakyum seemed off like everything is fine for him and he is starting to like Seungho, but I don't know, so far it's still confusing.

    yeolilgugu March 29, 2020 11:16 am

    he actually confessed to the scholar but the scholar just showed his disgust towards nakyum (bcs of what he draws) so nakyum was heartbroken + seungho kept on bothering him. at the end of the chap, nakyum completed a ot of drawings alr i believe that was to console his heartbreak and he finally asked seungho to hold him aso bcs he was heartbroken. not the best way to handle it imo but after being said things by the person he respected and loved the most it's kinda understandable

    Aries March 29, 2020 1:23 pm

    Well let’s remember that this story is portrayed way back in time, so what we call rape isn’t considered to be rape back then. This doesn’t justify what Seungho did to him but we still have to keep in mind that this are different times and different way of thinking

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 1:35 pm
    he actually confessed to the scholar but the scholar just showed his disgust towards nakyum (bcs of what he draws) so nakyum was heartbroken + seungho kept on bothering him. at the end of the chap, nakyum compl... yeolilgugu

    Well i hope that's the case. I really hope the author could somehow justify NK's seeming attraction towards SH after being raped, why he lied to the man he yearns for all his life for the sake of his abuser, and why he doesn't object to being touched anymore. Otherwise i think I've been hyping this manhwa for nothing and been misled into thinking that this manhwa has a good plot, that it's different from numerous other cliched stories where the ukes got raped and then fall for the rapists for no apparent reason.

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 1:39 pm
    Well let’s remember that this story is portrayed way back in time, so what we call rape isn’t considered to be rape back then. This doesn’t justify what Seungho did to him but we still have to keep in min... Aries

    Still doesn't explain why his attitude and sentiments transform completely from utter resentment to attraction and acceptance after being abused though.

    Your senpai March 29, 2020 2:33 pm

    I am seriously crying man

    Aries March 29, 2020 3:21 pm
    Still doesn't explain why his attitude and sentiments transform completely from utter resentment to attraction and acceptance after being abused though. ERomantica

    Well Seungho is the only person that NK met that has accepted his sexuality. Also in the 40 chapter the teacher really insulted him because of his sexuality and even called him a whore so I guess NK was tired of teacher not accepting his sexuality and feelings and wanted to be with someone who at list valued him even if it was just for his body.

    MangaSanctuary March 29, 2020 4:52 pm

    Nakyum doesn't have a "relationship" with In Hun. At best, he's like a puppy to In Hun, someone who admires the Sir on puts him in pedestal...

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 8:11 pm
    Well Seungho is the only person that NK met that has accepted his sexuality. Also in the 40 chapter the teacher really insulted him because of his sexuality and even called him a whore so I guess NK was tired ... Aries

    You don't get my comment. SH didn't accept NK, he raped him to exhaustion. Yet right after that (chap34-35) he got "butterflies", which is not how a normal rape victim would react. Even if this was in a historical setting, that doesn't mean NK wouldn't be traumatized. But the way he reacted was completely out of character, from lying to IH, to enjoying SH's touch...as in my 1st comment.

    As for the teacher insulting him, he chose the person who basically wrecked his, well, perceived chance of being together with the person he yearns for most. The person who was the cause of all his predicament and misery, the person who caused him to be called whore (in fact if you look at it from IH's standpoint, his insults were completely understandable, given NK's lies to him, not for the sake of him but for SH. He thought NK had a complete change of heart after he slept with SH, hence his insults. Anyone in that era would've done the same). That's why i said he's not the loyal type but a masochist.

    I guess while the author doesn't change the fact that SH and IH are still the douchbags they are, NK is the only one acting out of character to create some romance, which unfortunately ruined the good plot and character development she was trying to build from the beginning.

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 8:43 pm
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    NK did not have an attraction to SH in the first place. He is subconsciously into sodomy and he wants to do it with/ lust after his teacher. If he was always attracted to SH he wouldn't be turned off the night he remembered or bawl his eyes out and run away after that.

    Also if he didn't have self-respect aka pride, why would he talk back to SH to protect his teacher's honor? Why bother protecting his virginity? Why would he listen to his teacher and offend SH even when he knows he would be punished?

    (Well i'm not native speaker so i might be wrong with the word choice. But i hope you get what i mean)

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 8:47 pm
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    And he only was attracted towards SH after waking up from being raped to unconsciousness, which as i said earlier, is completely out of character.

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 9:04 pm
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    "He is obsessed with the teacher and would defend him until he dies."
    That's my point. His obsession. He saved his virginity for his teacher from the day he was obsessed, which i think lasted many years. So then why, after being brutally abused, he simply forgot his obsession and no longer objected to being touched by anyone other than the teacher? He no longer feels the slightest bit of contempt towards SH, and didn't appear to be hurt after being abused at all. On the contrary, he doesn't even try to hide that he liked it. It's like his obsession for IH just vaporized over night.

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 9:36 pm
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    No this is way before the teacher rejected him. He woke up from his comma, feeling butterflies. It's commonsense that, because human has feelings no matter in which era you are in, you don't get the hot for your abuser right after being abused right? NK did for no apparent reason. Then he flat-out lied to the teacher for no apparent reason, for the sake of the abuser. Then he no longer even try to protect whatever he has left for his beloved teacher. It's worth noting that, before his comma, he utterly objected to the touching. He resented SH for taking his virginity. So where was all that after he woke up?

    Anw, it bugs me alot how NK reacted after he woke up, but i was trying to overlook it bc overall the story still has a good plot. However I just couldn't accept/ stand it when he asked for sex after being humiliated by the slap. Your comment resolves it. If the story was going in the direction of NK's self-destruction then it's ok for me bc it's makes more sense and is consistent with the storyline, although we would have a lot of angst.

    Aries March 29, 2020 10:14 pm
    You don't get my comment. SH didn't accept NK, he raped him to exhaustion. Yet right after that (chap34-35) he got "butterflies", which is not how a normal rape victim would react. Even if this was in a histori... ERomantica

    I agree that SH mistreated NK but let’s not forget that he showed some affection too. What about the situation with teach and NK I can only say that after getting rejected and insulted by the one you love it’s quite understandable that NK would want to be with someone who at list has some affection for him.

    ERomantica March 29, 2020 10:23 pm
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    "First, many people do end up having feelings for abusers though. But they still stay because they have feelings". Well as you say, bc they have feelings. But you also say NK doesn't have romantic feelings for SH. So this is not the case. Besides, i repeat that his reaction suddenly change from utter resentment to attraction and acceptance for no apparent reason right after being brutally abused and before being insulted by IH. That's where i have problem with and i was trying to overlook it bc of the overall good plot.

    We don't know the reason he asked for sex yet, but i hope you are right about wanting more pain. Not that i want more pain for him but like you said i don't want this story to head towards becoming a cliche.

    maychan March 30, 2020 2:37 am

    that what is called accepted the abuse cause he does not love himself and basically got used to abuse by his kidnapper. feel free to think it's a good plot, I think it's a crap plot XD each and their opinion I guess.

    Xiaoma March 30, 2020 3:07 am
    No this is way before the teacher rejected him. He woke up from his comma, feeling butterflies. It's commonsense that, because human has feelings no matter in which era you are in, you don't get the hot for you... ERomantica

    Are we reading the same comic? He didn't wake up from his comma with butterflies in his stomach, 1- Nakyum firstly asked if Inhun asked about him being ill but got heartbroken when the servant told him Inhun didn't ask about him not even once. 2- Nakyum knew that Seungho bought him medicines and gave him the warmest room to recover fast. 3- In the evening he was scared shitless when Seungho showed up and asked him "where are you going?" Then he ran away but Seungho didn't go after him. So Nakyum's actions are actually reasonable if you think about it, he doesn't even fear Seungho anymore to raise his voice on him like that. My guess for the next chapter, i think Nakyum wants to sleep with Seungho for one of those reasons 1- he wants to play a dangerous game, make master hoon fall for him and get informations for sir inhun so he can "accept" him OR 2- he wants a painful sex just to distract himself, either way my guess is Seungho will refuse to sleep with him because he's smart, he already knows Nakyum is crying because of Inhun and his pride won't allow him to be used as a distraction (remember how he hated being called "sir" the first time they had sex?)

    ERomantica March 30, 2020 5:12 am
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    But NK didnt have a relationship with Sh in the first place! It's not like he voluntarily entered into a relationship with Seungho then later found out Sh is abusive. He was forced upon from day one!

    ERomantica March 30, 2020 5:25 am
    Are we reading the same comic? He didn't wake up from his comma with butterflies in his stomach, 1- Nakyum firstly asked if Inhun asked about him being ill but got heartbroken when the servant told him Inhun di... Xiaoma

    Please read chapter 35 for the word "butterflies". Even if Sh had the decency to bring him to the warmer room, isn't that basic human decency after committing such a horrible act? For me it's not enough to illicit such reaction, and have a change of heart and lied to his teacher. Then enjoy the touch of the abuser who inflicted so much damage on your life (Nk's prospect with IH), your health and mental state.
    I think we should stop the conversation here.

    Xiaoma March 30, 2020 5:37 am
    Please read chapter 35 for the word "butterflies". Even if Sh had the decency to bring him to the warmer room, isn't that basic human decency after committing such a horrible act? For me it's not enough to illi... ERomantica

    NK lied to his teacher because he didn't want him to know that they were sleeping together so he won't get the wrong idea