Not all yaoi are fluffy and cute they can have toxic relationships too. Just like not all romance is like this manga.
That is certainly true. I've just gotten fairly good at navigating the world of yaoi, and I know what to look for and what to avoid. Also, the reason I turned to yaoi was that... even though toxic relations and power imbalance happens in yaoi as well, a yaoi couple is inherently on more equal ground than a straight couple in fiction. Because a lot of girls are portrayed as passive, weak and as something to "conquer", solely because of their sex, which doesn't sit well with me (that is also the reason I love shoujo isekai. Because the mcs tend to have a stronger position than in much other romance). In the same vein, male leads will use their sex as an excuse to be forceful, horny assholes a lot of the time. Which also doesn't sit well with me. I got tired of reading shoujo where the female character cried "no, stop" and not knowing if they were "being bashful" or being raped. Because with the power imbalance portrayed between males and females in a lot of romance it could very well be the latter. While I don't like hearing "no, stop" in yaoi either, i find comfort in the thought that they can always punch/push away the other guy if they don't like it. An option female characters don't have because they're "too weak". Also pregnancy. My god I have how pregnancies can be used against girls.
This doesn't mean all straight romance is bad and al BL is good. But that gender-based power imbalance was widespread enough that 14 year old me decided "fuck this, I'm gonna learn to read gay shit instead". After I realized isekai was a thing I started reading a lot more shoujo again, because I've found a niche where those tropes that triggers me aren't as widespread. Which is why i reacted so badly to this one. I've become used to the stuff I like being the "default"
Jeez, that became long, sorry.
Yeah. So sick of this type of ML in shoujo AND in BL. I really don't find it attractive, and I trawl through all the disappointing stuff in order to find the gems that just have stories about relationships where people are treated like people...but sometimes I get disheartened when they're hard to find. Or when stories have a shaky start and I read on hoping for the initial problems with the ML to be resolved, and instead it's just brushed off because he's the ML and he loves the MC and that's romantic, right? Urgh.
Anyway, thanks for letting me latch onto the tail of your rant.
Other people, continue enjoying whatever stories you enjoy.
U don't have to apologize I just wanted to add my 2 cents.
You are very welcome xD. Feel you there. Over the years I've just gradually become less and less tolerant when it comes to gender roles and manipulative/possessive/arrogant/egocentrical male characters in fiction. That leaves me with a very limited option of stuff left to read, so when I do find a trope or genre I do like, I end up reading everything I come across regardless of how bad or how well it's written hahah
Ikr, the gender imbalance in shoujos put me off too, especially as someone who prefers the dominant role in relationships. Can you recc me some shoujo isekais with balanced power dynamics (or even better, power dynamics where the MC is on top)?
try some korean isekais, some manhwa have pretty balance relationship, some recommendation: the Reason Why Raeliana Ended up at the Duke's Mansion, this girl is a little wild, the evil lady's hero (im not sure this is shoujo cuz its a bit mature)
I definitely agree with the "this girl is a little wild" recommendation, the dynamic between the mc and the male lead is great. In addition I like koushaku reijou no tashinami because the main character is intelligent and powerful in her own right, and the apparent ML is kind and intelligent as well. I'm also quite fond of "the justice of a villainous woman".
I recommend kusuriya no hitorigoto though it's not an isekai. The mc and the ML does have an imbalance in status but I absolutely love the mc's "gives-no-fucks" personality and she honestly has the ML wrapped around her finger, though she doesn't realise herself.
Other than that there's several shorter isekai stories with strong female leads. "Of course I'll claim palimony!" has a mc I'd say is definitely the dominant one in any potential relationship xD "when I woke up, twenty years passed" also has quite the OP mc, though the manga hasn't gotten far enough for me to judge how the dynamic between her and the ML will turn out.
Mmm. Most of these are slow burns though xD
Thank you for putting all my messy thoughts into actual fluid sentences XD
Hardly fluid, but you're welcome nonetheless xD
Thnk you for this!
You're... welcome? xD it's only my subjective opinion though. Honestly, a lot of the time I feel like I'm oversensitive when it comes to gender and power imbalance in fiction, but I find it very difficult to overlook. And I don't have the ability to go "meh, it's just fiction, it doesn't matter" either
It's in cases like this I deeply wish mangago had a button for "absolutely never read ever again". I love shoujo isekai and I really wanted to like this one too, so I tried reading the novel hoping that it would be better. And I want to retroactively smack myself for that. The last time I was this angry and disgusted after reading a shoujo/josei was when I started reading yaoi. I legit hated the male/female dynamic in a manga so much I forced myself into becoming a fujoshi, and reading the beginning of this novel makes me remember those feelings from over 5 years ago. The male lead is just continuously disrespecting the mc and her opinions/feelings. In my head it's rape and assault. She did consent to have sex with him that first night. She did not consent to him trying to impregnate her, nor his plans to confine her and force her to marry her, and he just completely ignores her when she says she doesn't want a relationship with him. That is not okay. I realise it's completely my fault for choosing to read it, yet I can't help but be disappointed. This manga/novel probably isn't that extreme by normal romance standards, but I guess my brain went mushy from five years of reading nothing but fluff and cuteness, and I forgot how common toxic and manipulative relationships actually are in romance.
I'm not trying to spark off a discussion or be an asshole. Please do ignore me. I just couldn't stay quiet because I'm overflowing with indignant anger and had to rant to be able to sleep tonight. I'm sorry for starting some useless topic.
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