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I completely agree with you,the same happens with the rape thing; they tend to fetichize that as an excuse of love when that is not the case at all! could you recommend me by any chance some stories with masculine bottoms? I just know a few of them like ueda aki, kazuki natsume and CTK characters (their characters are so ლ(´ڡ`ლ))
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I'm more a manhwa type of person, and despite the fact that I've read plenty, is kinda difficult to find masc bottoms. But, there are a few that have well balanced tops and bottoms (not too masc, not too fem) that I absolutely adore. My two favourites are "Dark Heaven" and "Momentum", both of them have relationships that actually feel authentic.
Change my mind.
I personally like more masculine bottoms, I think they are more "realistic", I really dislike the "feminine-uke-nya-uwu-crybaby", I feel like they fetishize homosexual relationships. Yeah sure, many "twinks" are bottoms, but we need more masculine bottom representation. Not exclusively in the bara subgenre.