You're right about victim blaming, and I personally am not one to endorse it. I understand full well what Kan did was bad. But you're being too one-sided here. Yumi was at fault too. And that doesn't make me love him any less. They fell into an abusive relationship that sustained itself with weaknesses of both of them. And it was Kan in the end who put an end to it, which is very noteworthy. So they were both hurt, and were trying to save themselves.
I don't know if you could change your feelings, but read these!
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/sabita_yoru_demo_koi_wa_sasayaku/
http://www.mangago.zone/read-manga/azami/
i've read the three books before, and while I appreciate Kan changing his behaviour, I don't think Yumi was at fault for anything. Yumi was always supporting him and even offered several times to help him pay for his sister's university fees for some time so Kan could leave his job and look for another one, it was just him being too focused on his own that he ended up spiraling into desperation. the abuse got to him and he decided to pay it with Yumi. That's what I got from the story.
Hmm... is that so? I've yet to read Azami, even SYDKWS which I read parts of but scrolled through the rest. The impression I have from SYDKWS is that Yumi's heart was not with Kan, so while he let him have his way with him and came back to him every time because he avoided meeting his real feelings about what he desired and how he felt with Kan, to which in turn Kan (and I imagined this vividly) felt like he'd lost his love, I imagined the self-loathe that would've come with how his partner acted and really felt inside while keeping a part of himself in distance and him reacting helplessly (and in this I am not justifying his actions, or his distorted feelings that were a cocktail of emotions from a lot of places). I thought I knew the reason for his actions, and though his actions were wrong, I thought I could understand how Yumi could be part of the reason. So I thought that would've been the major factor... Yumi distancing himself emotionally. Though I could be wrong. And now I really want to read it well. Because I don't know how it started. If Yumi distanced himself after Kan starting abusing him, then of course I don't blame him.
Oh my God now I'm all confused so don't read that!
It's just that I hadn't read Azami and only read parts of SYDKWS and scrolled through the rest. And the impression I had was that Yumi distanced himself emotionally, and that got to Kan together with the abuse he was going through. I imagined his helplessness and thought Yumi's behaviour was part of the reason. I didn't know that Kan opened up to Yumi about the abuse and that he offered to help. I thought he kept it all bottled up to himself.
But I don't know what started the abuse on Kan's part towards Yumi. So if he distanced himself after Kan started hitting him, I don't blame Yumi. So I've yet to read it and I really want to.
haven't* not hadn't. Because I've still not read it.
Ugh now I'm regretting saying anything.
I don't want to think about faults and I can't think anymore. Whatever feelings they had, all the circumstances, it was all so unfortunate and I can only feel sorry for them. I'm so sorry for them.
basically had the same reaction to you scrolling the comment section weeks ago and i was like welp im outta here. glad to see someone with the same perspective/reaction <3 take care!!
same, take care :^))
i'm grateful you changed your mind and leaned more towards a neutral standing
i'm grateful you changed your mind and leaned more towards a neutral standin
I really hope none of y'all have to go through abuse but goddamn it shows who has had a life where no one has raised a hand to them and who doesn't. "Yumi is at fault of staying" the fuck are you talking about you sick fuck? Yumi was in a toxic and abusive relationship with a person he loved very much. He would let himself be abused because he thought Haya would end up changing and going back to how he was. Yumi loved him genuinely, he was just being ABUSED FOR FUCKS SAKES. I bet half of y'all have tumblr blogs talking about sucking school shooters dicks because obviously this only shows that none of y'all give a fuck about real victims of abuse. Disgusting.