As a fan of Watase Yuu back from the Fushigi Yuugi days, I was surprised to see that she'd...

As a fan of Watase Yuu back from the Fushigi Yuugi days, I was surprised to see that she'd written a BL. I was very interested to see what this would be like. Wellllll it was pretty well-written, but boy was it tough trek. The misery of the story felt like it went on and on and on. I don't know if it was because it dragged in the middle (maybe) or because I just couldn't 100% get behind the characters for some reason.

The rape and tragedy elements are well-used here, and even though it is a tragedy, I didn't really feel that upset by how the story and their relationship ended, somehow. It felt appropriate. This is not a rape-to-love story even though one might naively think so, since the characters here finally connect with each other despite the rape (not because of it).

Also, just be aware it is hard to read in some places because of what Watase-sensei puts the protag through.

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I felt like the uke's personality and what set him apart from others didn't resonate strongly enough to illicit such an intense reaction from the seme. Like, clearly, the first guy that died in the warehouse loved the seme, so why wasn't he good enough? Lust vs love in BLs is a very blurry line sometimes. Is it just because the protag uke didn't obsess over the seme's looks? I kind of got the sense that that's what it was, but I don't know, it always just seems weird to me there was never _any other person_ who was kind to the seme without wanting to get into his pants. A lot of BL/shoujo stories rely on this sorta plot conceit, and it's just one I can't ever really get behind because it just presumes most of humanity to be far less kind and genuine than most people really are (in the real world).

Also, this whole set of plot occurrences could've been avoided by the seme having one conversation with his father (which happens at the end). Like none of the deaths, the whole story, really. And I get that the uke had to show him that he needed to, and how to do that, but I mean... I feel like the plot should be a little more complex than one tiny thing that could've been done from the beginning being able to change everything.

It was also a bit weird seeing Watase-sensei-designed characters having brutal rape sex. Idk, ymmv. The uke's character design I didn't really like either, so it was hard for me to see him as a real character and not just lines on the page. Somehow the big shoujo-protagonist eyes didn't really work with his hair cut. I do appreciate that most of the characters were not drawn to be as good-looking as the seme, given the story centered around the seme's good looks and how it tore his world apart.

Anyway, I rated this 4/5 stars because while it was good, it did feel a bit draggy in places and I just feel no desire to come back to this one. It wasn't because of the misery elements, but just something I couldn't completely connect with (mainly regarding the two protagonists I guess).