He deserves some sort of clap on the back, for restraining himself and not raping his drunk subordinate... wtf?
Maybe not to you, but I did because I can. And it's sad that I've been reading this genre for the past 15 years and we're just now getting to the point where I can praise a seme for something most people would think would be a no brainer. But I guess we're going to pretend to miss some tropes of this genre to try to make a point, eh?
I wish replies had like buttons too.
Would have to disagree, the real world is not yaoi, where it seems like this happens at any given opportunity. Also, in the real world, there are laws on this issue, and not coddling men for having the restraint to not rape someone they are meant to love. Seriously, the praise for a character not raping his blind drunk partner... sorry but what the fuck?
I totally get your point but to be honest, in the real world men ARE totally coddled. They get praised to the skies for the bare fucking minimum all the time. Oh my god, he "helps" around the house what a keeper - um, he's a grownass adult it's called cleaning up after himself and the household of which he's a part. He participates in child-rearing holy shit he's a special magical unicorn - um yes they're his kids too, it's called parenting. And yes, sadly, he's a "gentleman" if he doesn't take advantage of (aka sexually assault) someone he would like to sleep with who is in a vulnerable situation - again, bare fucking minimum to be a decent human being.
Agree about the division of labour, but the idea that men at any chance would rape their unconscious/not in their sober mind, partner, and need a big clap on their back for showing restraint is ludicrous. In yaoi, raping sleeping or drunk partners is hardly uncommon, but this is the stereotype problematic yaoi, and as readers we should have the common sense to recognise that congratulating a character for not raping someone who trusts him, or thinking that a character showing restraint and not raping is sexy, is well, nonsense.
The real world is actually more fucked up than yaoi. In the real world, men and women get raped drunk or not, more so for women or at least the reported cases, get murdered after the rape, and if they do manage to come out of it alive, the society chooses to believe the men over them. Where is your evidence? why were you at that bar/party? what were you wearing? why are you trying to ruin someone's life. IMO yaoi does not even begin to scratch the surface on irl rape.
We are talking about the expectations for average relationships, yes sexual abuse can happen with marriages & unmarried partnerships, and conviction rates are terribly low, with a lot not even being reported, for reasons you rightfully mentioned, but the idea that having your partner hold back from raping is something to be congratulated is honestly fucked up. And to say that a man waiting for his partner to sober up is "sexy", well that just goes back to how characters (lets just relate to the fiction) are coddled, for doing the right thing, just like someone else related to in real life, how helping out with domestic work needs a big celebration.
* just as a fictional example, how men in manga who cook are deemed exceptional, and they can never just cook because it's a basic life skill, but because "their mother was at work" "they have lived on their own" etc, as if there has be a reason why a male character would have such domestic skills, and not just pass everything off to the women in his life, or eat out at combini's. Obviously not comparable to the topic in hand, which is dealing with a crime, but the congratulations for doing the minimum, and even thinking that a partner not raping their black out drunk love interest, come on, please.
It was never in his character/personality. I'd rather applaud the author for having consistency with the characters. Now that's more sexy.
Agree, it's alarming then, that him restraining himself by default is deemed exceptional, as if readers expect a "top" to use any opportunity to get his way, consensual or not. The director had his iffy points in the first sex scene, but fortunately he is not that cliche yaoi rapist a la BJ fucking Alex.
* or the other yaoi cliche, of "top" gets jealous, and forces his own insecurities onto his partner, when said partner talks to another man, and takes him home to sexually claim hm, and almost punish him for the audacity of talking to someone else, consent not needed in the tops eyes... a la Glen, from Walk on Water, as of late.
Honestly, I don't care or mind about morals in yaoi. I'm either reading for the art and sex, or plot. It's a win if the series has both. Fluidity, consistency, context and depth are .ore important for me. If a character is an asshole, that character must have a reason for becoming or being one, same goes with becoming a better person
*I accidentally hit post* Anyway, so for BJ Alex, I get why Jiwon had to be an asshole and how he came to terms with his behavior. Not that BJ Alex was such a well written series but I'd say I've read worse. I just hate it when a character written seemingly with depth suddenly turns either good or bad with no reason or does not make sense based on the character's design. Take "My Mother's Lover" as an example. Not the best story but I lost an ounce of respect for the author for turning one character into a psycho, with no build up whatsoever and the character's reason does not make sense.
Just saying that personally then I find the trope of "throwing in a rape scene" as a stepping stone to characters getting together, just poor. It's not entertaining, it's illogical. It takes time to represent topics of crime like that with tact. I think one of the worst recent big manhwa which did this was BJ Alex, and ofcourse it stemmed from Jiwon's insecurity, but they portrayed the rape scene as if it were nothing, and just a stepping stone to further romantic development.
To each his own, I guess. But I follow the flow of the series. There are series which recognizes rape as it is into the story. I mean literally uses it as the turning point, main point or problem in the story. In your terms, treated as a crime. Those stories are often times written exquisitely. While there are that those that just doesn't treat it as rape or crime, it's only us readers who interpret it that way. The trope is to satisfy the fantasy of males/tops dominating, so I don't treat as seriously if that is how the story is. It all depends how the author sets the tone.
Sorry, but we are talking about fiction, and a genre that heavily tends to trivialize rape. Saying a character is exceptional because he doesn't rape his drunken love interest, may be going against yaoi norms, where this does happen a lot, but why shouldn't this trope be called out? Nice personal attack you gave too, and for what, for disagreeing that it's ridiculous that in this century such yaoi characters are needing of praise, for doing the minimum it takes to be a decent human being, and that readers almost expect a rape scene in these situations? We shall agree to disagree then.
Purely speaking to fiction/yaoi: Looked at another way, OP's original post is saying "It's NOT sexy to see a character raping [ravaging] their drunk partner." Not exactly saying that not raping is, in itself, sexy. I think sometimes the point is that in praising characters NOT acting like psychotic fuckbois, people are trying to say 'to' the creators and editors of this genre, "No more characters like that please, we prefer characters who don't rape people." I know it doesn't actually make a difference in reality since it's not like the editors and creators of yaoi are marketing to us (reading fan scanlations that don't make them any money), but I feel like that's probably the sentiment behind the OP's comment.
I think the rest of us can agree that you initiated an unnecessarily long discussion over something extremely menial.
Yes, the author deserves a pat on the back for not taking this one god damn scene the way most of this genre wold have.
Also one for directly illustrating that consent with wasted people is not consent.
Two parts on the back!! You have your answer, now shoo. Shoo.
Nothing sexier than waiting for your partner to get sober before ravaging them. He could have pulled over in a parking lot somewhere and fucked him senseless, but Director Kang is ...ugh he just so fine. I stan.