Is this in the novel? It's sad but he caused all that sh-t anyways on Zhi Shu for 4 years. Despite Wenxu really loving him, he cheated on him and he should receive the consequences. But there are couples in real life who one cheats and they still end up together. It's even more sadder how they were once a happy couple but both end up committing suicide. I mean Zhi Shu has no will to live and he doesn't take any chemotherapy when there might be someday a bone morrow donor. And for Wenxu, he committed suicide when he could just move on with his life. Suicide is never an answer. Despite being a d-ck, he changed and I want him to have happiness. Never repeat the same mistake with in mind that he'll never be forgiven. It was sad what he wrote in the letter, but man his time with Zhi Shu is only 14 years. He just wasted 30-70 years of his life. I still cried reading the letter though. Having needless hopes and not accepting reality since he's your most loved one and all. It reminds me of that one youtube vid where the wife who's husband is a soldier, waited for him her whole life to come back, and then just found out his dead.
Sorry pero hindi pa din naalis galit ko sa kanya amp. I've read the novel more than 5 times and run through the manhwa countless of times pero wala, lalo lang ako naiinis sa kanya. And to think na last convo nila ni Chen Zui ay may hint of meeting again when Wenxu fixed things with Zishu. Like bullshit. After kong mabasa to, lagi kong naiisip na neknek mo Wenxu, sarap na sarap ka sa pakikipagsex habang hirap na hirap si Zishu tapos magiinarte ka ngayon. This is the very first time I've felt this much anger for a character, or even a person (lol). It is as if I'm the one who was cheated on, hurt and raped. For more than a year since I read it for the first time, my fucking heart still aches when I think of this and here I am rereading this again. This is so much torture. Probably seeing more suffering for Wenxu would lighten my anger for him but to think that for Zishu's last few years was full of pain like that, he can't experience happiness and love that can cover all those pain anymore since wala na siya. Puchang buhay to. Also, san ba galing yung nagsuicide daw sya, pucha di ko alam pero baka maging ok na ako pagnabasa ko yun hahaha.
Here: Just use google translate in your browser https://www.ebookbao.net/book/16637/
This is the complete link of the manhua in Chinese
It is already ended
https://m.manhua123.net/comic/18926.html
Title : The Ten Years Where I loved you the most (Translation of Jiang Wenxu's letter for Zhi Shu)
//Samahan nyo kong umiyak
Source link : https://docs.google.com/document/d/163oHOEqX3hXBCYtNcxdY4w9NsuA5sIOqyKs5d_vTtso/mobilebasic
Jiang Wenxu's letter:
Beloved Wife Zhi Shu:
You've been away for so long, how have you been?
Please remember to take good care of yourself,
I've never once stopped missing you.
I'm doing well. I'm listening well and being cooperative
with the doctor who is helping to cure my illness.
Jingwen told me that you will most probably not be
happy to be greeted with someone who looks half-dead
when you return.
It's just that, I miss you so much and each time I
think about you, I feel an ache in my heart and lungs
with each breath I take.
Still...you're not willing to return.
I can only endure the slow passing days by myself...
Thinking about it, that's fine too.
If you're not planning to return, that's alright.
Since forever, it has always been you waiting for me to
come home.
This time, for a change, I will wait for you, no matter
how long it will take.
Zhi Shu, I don't know why you haven't been appearing
in my dreams for a long time.
The more I anxiously long for you in the day, the
more lonelier my dreams get in the night.
Is it because...you're really not willing to see me again?
I often think about the past and truthfully, even I find myself cruel.
Especially my unfair treatment to you.
I have never stopped regretting my actions,
I hate myself for not treating you better in the past.
I blame myself for never once truly pampering you.
Now I know I'm wrong.
But once you left, you left for good,
not even turning back to me once,
not even giving me a chance for me to correct this and
make it up to you.
I still remember that you once told me you loved puppies.
I found it dirty and wouldn't let you raise one.
Now, Qiutian who's living in our house is already half
a year old already.
He loves to stick to people he's familiar with, but
is quite hostile towards strangers.
Every day, no matter how busy I get, I have to find some time
to care for it.
You love animals so much, when will you come back to
release me from it?
Secretary Song is also going bonkers thanks to it.
He takes care of him during the day and it has destroyed
quite a lot of the plants and important documents in
the office.
During the year end, I went to find Ai Ziyu(Doctor),
no matter what I wanted to get the coat you left behind back.
How can I leave that coat to him?
I still remember that I bought it for you seven years ago.
I brought you to go see the snow but it was freezing cold
in the night, I quickly bought an overcoat which was too
big for you, you couldn't put it on properly. You came
into my arms, and I held you in my embrace.
Afterwards, you wore this coat for another seven winters.
All of this, I still remember.
Ai Ziyu looked at me with cold and hateful eyes, which
was to be expected since he likes you so much.
But the time when I went to find him to ask for your
stuff, the look he gave me was the one I disliked the most.
It reflected sympathy and sorrow.
He still can't get used to seeing me doing well,
and just shouted that you have passed away and nothing else.
Anyways, I don't believe him...
But that day, once I returned home, I began to think...
You may really be so mad at me,
you'll never ever want to return home.
In that case, what will I do?
What can I do?
I thought about it for very long,
and suddenly felt that I should go find you.
Go to the places you often mentioned to me
but I've never gotten the chance to bring you there.
I left the company for Jingwen and Secretary Song to
take care.
To me, profit or loss doesn't mean much to me.
The only reason why I kept it is because it's cramped with
a lot of memories about you.
As I was packing for Florence last month, I actually
found a sketchbook that was preciously hidden by you in
the closet between two boards.
It contained the drawings that I secretly drew of you during our high school days.
In the beginning, there were a lot of side profiles.
Those were drawn as I was watching
you listen to class attentively.
Progressively, there were more drawings of your front face.
Because after we finally got together, and I could finally
look at you in the face in the open without hiding.
However, you hid it really well.
I originally thought this sketchbook was long lost.
It was hard on you to leave your family and
secretly elope with me fourteen years ago.
You left with nothing on you. To think you brought my
drawings with you.
I don't know if you're shy about it,
but you never once told me about it and kept me in the dark.
During the seven hours train trip from Milan to Florence,
I kept looking at the drawings I drew of you back then.
It's like I could see the you at 16 years old, sitting
by the window, on a sunny day as your hair and
eyelashes are adorned with the golden light.
Sitting near me is a an old couple from France, old, very loving, all ten
fingers firmly interlocking together.
When I saw them, they smiled at me and greeted me in
English.
Once we became more acquainted after chatting, I showed
them my drawings of you. They all praised that you looked
beautiful, and I am happy. I told them, this is the person
that I loved the most.
That feeling is the best. it feels as if you are by my
side, when someone asks about you, when someone remembers
that we were once together, therefore, we will always be
together.
Florence is beautiful.
Like the paintings you have shown me,
The golden rays bathing the
church's roof under the setting sun,
a town with harmonious colors and warmth,
just like a fairy tale.
But I didn't stay there to wait for you like the
perfect ending in a storybook.
When I returned back to the country, I stayed home for two
months.
Jingwen was afraid that something happened to me and kept
advising me to go check up on my heart.
I know that I'm fine.
I've endured your initial disappearance from half a year ago,
my heart problems has also slowly began to hide itself.
I also don't wish for a heartbreaking pain either.
Because that's often not a good omen.
I donated my bone marrow the week before I set out again.
It's not because I suddenly feel like a good Samaritan,
I just wish that everyone will be able to donate, and
maybe it can be suitable for you. As they always say,
virtue has its rewards.
This time I visited Argentina, Iguazu Falls.
There was a period of time you were a huge fan of
Liang Chaowei and Leslie Cheung, I've watched "Happy Together"
for over 10 times already.
Although I'm not fond of watching movies, but after many
re-watch, I also memorized some of the lines from the show.
Maybe I'm too emotional, but as I'm standing under the
waterfall, I suddenly thought about the scene where
Liang Yaohui was standing alone under the waterfall.
Both of us thought to ourselves, under this waterfall,
there should be another person standing beside us.
Is there a chance to start over?
Zhishu, whenever I think about you, I feel more disgusted
with the trip.
The more beautiful scene I see by myself, the more
the loneliness in my heart begins to weigh on me.
Because I would always end up thinking if you're by my side,
how nice would that be.
But I will learn to be patient and keep waiting on.
I will pay for my sins little by little in the days you do
not return home.
Personally experience the coldness and pain that I often made you feel.
Day, nights, minutes and seconds.
The roads I walked, the wrongs that I've done, I also slowly
come to realise that the world will not go as I wish.
It might already be too late to go back.
I'm not asking for forgiveness, I only wish to wait for you,
using my future, using all my strength and life.
After committing so much sins in this life, I don't know if I would have a second life.
Therefore, all I can do is to use my entire being to wait for you.
Because I love you.
I wish you well!
Waiting for your return: Jiang Wenxu
2016年3月17日"