It's not the not having sex that makes me mad at him. It's the fact that he won't talk to her about it.
My husband and I at times go months without sex at times, especially after having kids, but we talk about why we don't want to atm. It's the communication and love we show each other that makes the difference.
Instead he calls the situation annoying and lies to her about having ED, and she KNOWS he is lying.
And yeah I'd still be mad if it was reversed.
It's not about a side. He is comfortable and unwilling to even speak to her honestly. She is annoying too cause she is being pushed around and just takes it.
I agree. If the roles were reversed then these comments would be completely different. Personally I don't think the husband is wrong and I don't think the wife is right. They just need to talk it out and decide if they want to stay together and if so how to compromise so that they are both happy.
Exactly this. The communication part is what irks me. He is completely unwilling to discuss anything with her. You're in a relationship, there's clearly something up, so talk about it! My opinion would NOT have been any different if the roles were reversed!
You are missing some details on your comparison, imagine if the woman stays at home all the time, doesn’t have the will to even make dinner for herself, says that she doesn’t want to have sex with her husband, but watches porn, when asked about it says that the husband lacks sex appeal, always avoids talking about it when the husband bring this problem up and so on... Would you side with the woman here?
In this story case, It’s not only about him not wanting sex, he is actively and consciously draining her self esteem. She is also in the wrong for not forcing a direct confrontation with him. Also, if a person doesn’t like to have sex and the other likes, one shouldn’t force himself to do it or not do it, just break up and find partners who better suit your tastes
If it was reversed I’d be on his side as I am on hers. Sex for some people really is a deal breaker. Others may think “well I’m fine without it” but that’s not the case for everyone. Some people are not joking when they say they are not fine without it. People who “need” it will suffer without it emotionally as she currently is. Sex and wanting (or not) to have children are big deal breakers. He can’t muster up once a week or talk about it the solution is clear. Get a new man. They are compatible and she isn’t happy. They don’t have kids. She has no reason to work it out with him being miserable as long as she has. The marriage is over.
If it was reversed I would be on his side too. You are forgeting rhw important parts of this: sex is just the drop that falls out of the glass, but it was already been filled from the start. She is veing clear: it's not sex,it's about not being loved.
And we have Niina on the othee side and I am completely on his side. The problem is that the both of them are single-handedly taking upon the responsibility of fixing a relationship, when it should be an effort of both sides. You cannot like sex, but even though talk to your partner and cherish them and share things without sex involved. Here,that's not what is happening: Niina's wife and Michi's husband just see their partners as sth convenient so they don't take the trouble to even talk or figuring things out together because they don't even care!! And there is where yhe problem lies. It's not a problem of consent but a problem of love
We're all sliding with the wife, but what if the genders were reversed?
Like if a man hadn't slept with his wife in a long time, but she just didnt feel like it. Hes actively trying to get her to do it, and doesnt know why she doesnt want to. Shes distant and he starts getting angry at her and keeps bringing it up while being frustrated.
I think we all would feel slightly differently about the situation.
I'm just bringing it up because I guess... I cant completely hate him for not wanting to have sex if he doesnt want to, then he shouldn't have to. You cant force him to have sex with her.